The Bully In Me

With so much attention on bullying these days, I thought that I would share my perspective on it. I know that some of what I am about to share might not be popular with everyone, but this is just my perspective. I have some understanding into this epidemic. I was bullied as a child and have even been as an adult. I know the scars that it has left on me emotionally. I know the effects that is had on my childhood and how I carried it into my adulthood. These scars affected my self-confidence and self-image. 

I am also aware of the effects that it can have on a family, when a person decides to take their own life due to the abuse that they receive from bullies. This tragic end, is rarely the results of a first time being bullied. Usually this is the choice made by someone who has been bullied for an extended period of time. Being bullied, wears you down to the point that, all too often, suicide seems like the only way out. If you are contemplating this option, please talk to someone about it. This is not your only option. There are people around you that are there to help you because they care and love you very much.

I want to address another version of bullying. This, I believe, is the worst kind of bullying. It is the bullying of ourselves. How can we bully ourselves? The most common way is our self talk. We tell ourselves that we are a loser, worthless, unlovable, and alone. None of these things are true and yet we choose to only listen to these very hurtful words from ourselves. Our confidence begins and ends with us, and these kinds of beliefs about ourselves, ruin our self-esteem. We are not losers, we have made it this far and can keep going. We have all had struggles in life and made it through them, we can make it through another one. We are not worthless because we all have a purpose in life. As long you are still breathing, you have a purpose to fulfill and the world needs you to fulfill it. When you feel like you are unlovable, remember that you have people around you that love you. But don't fall into the trap of relying on the love of others. We all know that people will let us down. Love has to begin from within us. We have to learn to love ourselves. We are never really alone. We live in such a connected world that there is always someone will be there. If you ever feel alone, and can't seem to find someone, get a hold of me. I will chat with you.

I believe that the best way to combat any form of bullying is to build self-confidence. We all have a breaking point, but the goal should be to make it stronger than it was yesterday. I believe that it is almost impossible to bully a person with a lot of self-confidence. If you are a person who needs to work on their self-confidence, don't be afraid to ask for help. Find a mentor, someone with a lot of self-confidence, and find out what has worked for them. Develop your weaknesses into strengths, develop your mind, body, and soul. When I began working on myself, the bullies in my life seem to fade away, including the bully in me. Sure, I can still get down on myself, in a manner that is bullying, but I know how to bounce back. You can only keep a person with strong self-confidence down for so long before they stand up and defend themselves.

Stop allowing others to bully you. Stop making yourself the victim of your own bullying. You are an amazing individual. Raise children that are strong with confidence. Raise your own self-confidence and become their example to live by. I believe that building self-confidence is the best anti-bullying tool available to us all. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.