Leader vs. Follower

Are you a leader or a follower? Whether you realize it or not, we all fall into both categories. Maybe not every day, but at some point in our lives we have been and probably will be again one or both of these. As a parent and a store manager puts me as a leader on a daily basis. As long as I am alive I will be a leader in my family. And since I am continually learning and trying to improve myself, I am a follower. I am open to moving forward from those who have gone before me and learn what they have learned.

One of the greatest books on leadership that I have ever read was, The One Minute Manger. It also happens to probably be one of the shortest. If you have never read it, I would encourage you to pick up a copy and take an hour out of your day and read it and then read it annually. It will give you a really good look into how you can be a very effective leader. Not just in business but life in general. It's amazing how these principles can work even at home.

One of my favorite things from this book is about being the kind of manager that you would want to work for. I have been in management for over 16 years and that has been one thing that I have tried to pride myself in. The majority of the people who have worked for me would agree that I am one of the best managers that they have worked for. I have never asked anything of anyone that I wasn't willing to do myself. I treated them with respect and in return, they respected me.

Here is my question to you. If you expect a manager to be the kind of manger that you want to work for, don't you think that you should be the kind of employee that you would want working for you? It goes both ways. Be the kind of leader that you would want to work for and be the kind of employee/follower that you would want working/following you.

We forget that everyday we come into contact with others. Whether you realize it or not, others are watching our actions and in-actions. Our lives are full or touch points with others While we are shopping, walking, driving, and everything in between. What kind of impression are you leaving on those around you? Are you being the kind of person that you want to be around?

Because of the time that I have spent in retail and the time that my wife has spent working in restaurants, I have even become the kind of customer that I would want in my store or eating in my restaurant. :)

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Twice The Father's Day

Father's Day has, at times, been a bit awkward for me.  As many of you know, my Father died when I was almost 4. I have no memories, only photos and stories, that others have told me, to relate to when it comes to my Father. I know that my Father wasn't perfect in his 28 short years here on Earth. He, like all of us, had his faults. But what I have found out, is that, my Father, left a legacy. I have had, over the years, a chance to meet several people who knew my Dad. All of them, remember my Dad with such great admiration. He was a very loved man who touched so many lives, many of which, he probably never knew that he did. Even though my Father's time here on Earth was rather short, he made an impact on so many people.

Three things have come out of this situation for me. One, even though my Father isn't here, I want to live my life in a way that you make him proud. Two, make sure that I leave the kind of legacy that he did. Three, be the kind of Dad that he never had the chance to be.

Father's Family Name
by Anonymous

You got it from your father
It was all he had to give
So it's yours to use and cherish
For as long as you may live

If you lost the watch he gave you
It can always be replaced;
But a black mark on your name
Can never be erased

It was clean the day you took it
And a worthy name to bear
When he got it from his father
There was no dishonor there

So make sure you guard it wisely
After all is said and done
You'll be glad the name is spotless
When you give it to your son.

I hope that my kids, know how much I love them, how proud I am of them, and that leaving the right legacy  will effect generations to come.

The second part of Father's Day came about 25 years ago when my Mom got remarried. My Step-Dad has been amazing. He took on a teenager who could be rather unruly and that had anger management issues. He took on the role of Step-Dad and never looked back. Sure, him and I have had our issues, but I have never questioned his commitment to me or my Mom. He also showed my how to be a Step-Dad, which I didn't know that I would be one until about 10 years ago. I love my Step-Dad and am eternally grateful for all that he has done for me and my family.

This is for you Dave:


I hope, that when my time is done here on Earth, that my children will be proud to say that I was their Dad and Step-Dad. I know that I haven't been a perfect Dad/Step-Dad, but I take that role very seriously and love my family more than they will ever know.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Danger...Quicksand!!!

You may never have to come face to face with actual quicksand in your life. That moment, when you realize that the ground you are standing on is giving way. The terror that suddenly engulfs your emotions as you frantically look for a way out. How fast are you sinking? Is there a nearby limb that you can grab a hold of and pull yourself out? Is there someone with you on this expedition that can come to your rescue if you scream for help? How will you survive?

The quicksand that most of us will faces, is that of mediocrity and stagnation. What happens is, we get stuck in one place for to long. I'm not specifically talking about a geographic location, but a mental state. We get stuck in our past, our current circumstance, or maybe a relationship. We get comfortable with the way it feels and before we know it, it starts to drag us down. At first, many times, we don't even realize it. We are so focused on the problem that we miss that it is actually having a deeper effect on us. It is preventing us from moving in a positive direction. And like I have said before, if we aren't moving in a positive direction, then we are moving in a negative direction. Don't allow circumstances, the past, or a relationship to hold you back. You have an opportunity to move forward in a positive way every day. You can either move forward or you can get stuck and begin to sink.

I have had many times in my life where I allowed quicksand to bring me down. Yes, I said allowed. Since I know that I am in control of my life, it was my choice to stay there and get sucked down. The problem was, by allowing myself to do that, I had to fight to get out. Once I was out, I realized that I had actually went back and I had to get back to where I was mentally before I got sucked in. Still to this day, I have moments, and days, and sometimes even a week of quicksand. But with time, wisdom, and being aware of my surrounding, I have been able to limit my time there as I have gotten older.

We can also get stuck in the quicksand of success. Yes, we spend to much time basking in the glory of a winning moment in our lives, that that too becomes a kind of quicksand. I'm not saying that you shouldn't rejoice in a victory, but just don't stay there too long. Be ready to move on before you become stagnant.

My analytical mind sometimes annoys my family. But I try to always be aware of my current situation in life and aware if I am sinking. I was a Boy Scout when I was a boy and learned about, "Be Prepared." Make sure, while on your journey in life, that you always have a plan B(a branch to reach out and grab for when you get stuck in the quicksand). I also learned in my teen years to surround myself with the right people. I know that if I surround myself with the right people, we will be there for each other in times of need. Asking for help isn't a matter of weakness, it's a matter of staying strong.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Gotta Take Them Both

The past few days have been a roller coaster of sorts for me. It has had some great moments and a few discouraging as well. But isn't that the way life seems to work sometimes?
Thursday morning I had my follow up appointment with an orthopedic doctor concerning my knew. The fracture is healed and we are going to proceed with my knee surgery on Tuesday. I have some apprehensions about having surgery. Since I haven't had surgery since I was 4 years old, which I don't remember, I am a little nervous but I know that all will work out for the best in the end. I will be able to get back to running and accomplish my goal of running a 7 mile event in 2014. Later that night, I held a conference that lacked the turn out that I was hoping for. I know that everything happens for a reason but we still tend to have certain expectations in life. Sometimes, the higher our expectations, the greater risk for disappointment. I believe in the law of attraction, however, I can only control my actions not what other people do. Even though the turn out was less than I desired, I still gave it 100%. I showed up and gave it my my best, because those who came deserved my best. Turns out, a lady that attended works at a local community college and may have some speaking opportunities for me in the future. I was taught a long time ago that the most important people are the ones who show up.
On Saturday, I attended the wedding of some very good friends. What a beautiful wedding and fun reception. Since the bride, groom, and I all graduated from the same small school, the reception was more like a class reunion for multiple classes. I always enjoy catching up with friends who I haven't seen in a few years. The down side to the night was, a close friend of mine has decided to make some changes in his life and has decided to shut me and some other friends completely out of his life. It's a shame that he has made this decision, but it is his life to live and all I can do is move on with my life and wish him the best. The upside, I was complimented on my facebook posts. I know that if I start my day on a positive note, I greatly increase my chances of having a positive day. In sharing these posts, I have touched other people's lives. I was very happy and flattered that I had reach some of them in their time of need. 
We have to learn to take the good with the bad. Bad things are just going to happen, but life will also throw some good in there and if you sow enough good into your own life, the good will outweigh the bad. I am so thankful for for all the aspects of my life. The good and the bad. Everything has it's place and a reason why it happens. It has taken some time, but the life that I desire is beginning to happen. I am thankful for my journey and all of it's ups and downs for without them I would not be where I am today.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big