Sandwiched Between

A friend of mine recently posted this photo on facebook and it is so true. For generation upon generation, we have heard the fairy tale stories. Sometimes, I think that we get so caught up in the "happily ever after, that we forget about how the characters got there. All the stories I remember, the hero or heroine of the story had to face some adversity to get to the "happily ever after." We've got the "once upon a time" down, because we know where our life started. But we seem to get lost between the beginning and the end. We know that we want the happy ending but get stuck when adversity strikes. Our ending doesn't have to be something that we settle for, it's something that we design. I'm not saying that every detail is designed, because we all know that life has a way of throwing us for a loop at times. But what I am saying is that we have options. In no way shape of form should we just be settling for what life hands us. We have the ability to create that storybook life, that we all say that we want. When that adversity comes, what are you going to do about it? If your answer is, "I don't know" then you need to figure it out. If you are not a part of your own solution, then you are a part of your own problem. I've always said, "Where there's a will, there's a way." If you really wanted to have that happy ending, you would find a way. Stop complaining about the adversity and obstacles and get to working on getting through it. Life will give you what you want, it will give you what you deserve. Put in the work, believe that it will happen, and watch your efforts change your circumstances. Obstacles and adversities are put in our live for mainly two reasons. One, to make us stronger and to prepare us for what is next and two, to test our resolve. Is what we say we want really what we want or are we just playing lip service? You are ready have the "Once upon a time", figure out what your "Happily ever after" is, now have the faith that it will happen and work like hell to accomplish it.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Squished, Just Like Grape

So, I'm sitting here watching The Karate Kid and got inspired to write this post. Early in the movie, Mr. Miyagi asks Daniel if he is ready to learn karate. Daniel says, "Guess so." Mr. Miyagi explains that if you walk on the left or right side of the you are okay but if you walk In the middle you will get "squished, just like a grape." He exposes the lesson by telling Daniel that if he must choose either karate yes or karate no. Karate guess so would caused him to get "squished, just like grape."

Our lives are much like this example. We can choose to ignore our destiny and live in mediocrity or we can choose to live our destiny and live happy fulfilling lives. It's when we "guess so" about our destiny that we live in distress. We get frustrated, stressed, and live in misery. It's when we give our passions and dreams a half hearted effort that we struggle the most. Instead is giving it our all, we gave it less then our best. Then say, it won't work and that it must not have been meant for us. If it's in your heart, it's meant to be.

We also get distract by what seems like meaningless work in the pursuit of our destiny. Mr. Miyagi has Daniel to wax on and wax off, sand the floor, paint the fence, and even paint the house. Daniel gets frustrated that he isn't being taught karate. Then Mr. Miyagi reveals to him that what seemed like chores were really hidden karate moves. When we are patient and persistent with our efforts, life have a way of revealing that it has all bee a part of the journey. Stop trying to understand the process and just keep giving it your best. The Universe wants you to reach your full potential but leave the process to the Universe and the effort up to you. You deserve your best.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

To Have or Not To Have

All too often we get stuck in the rut of being a "have not." We believe that the reason or reasons that we are lacking in a certain area of our life is due to something outside of ourselves. We believe that "they" were born into it or that "they" got lucky. The reason that we believe these things is because all we see are the end results. Most of the time we don't see or hear about all the years of hard work that "they" put in before they became successful. There is no such thing as an overnight success. There are years and years of hard work that happen before success comes. The biggest difference between "them" and us, is they decided to act upon an opportunity and continually work at it until they achieved their desired result. What results do you wish to see in your life? Do they involve happiness, relationships, monetary, or career? What are you willing to do to achieve these results? What are you willing to sacrifice to reach these results? So now that you have answered these questions, just do it. The biggest difference between those who have their desired results and those who don't are those who do what is necessary and those who make excuses. We allow ourselves to accept excuses as to why we don't have the life that we desire.

A week ago, I was told that I would be on crutches for four weeks. Before I even left the parking lot, I was already discussing, with my boss, what I could do at work. Instead of worrying about what my limitations would be, I was concentrating on what I would be able to do. I was already formulating a plan of action. I could have taken the easy route, filed for my short-term disability, and sat at home and did nothing.  I decided to stay working, change a part of my role at work, and still remain and active member of the team.

Stop cluttering up your mind with what you can't do and become a part of the solution by concentrating on what you can do. Either you are a part of the solution or you are a part of the problem. Either you are doing what you can or you are making excuses. Either you are a have or a have not. It's your life, how will you decide to live it. Sure obstacles will arise, but choose to adapt, improvise, and overcome those obstacles. Make a difference in your life today and become a doer in order to become a have kind of person.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

By Design, Not By Accident

We will spend, sometimes months, designing our week long vacation. We go through every detail. Plane or drive? What hotels will we stay at? What shopping and restaurants do we want to take in? What new activities do we want to try? Why do we spend so much time planning for a week of our live and yet so little time planning a happy life? Happiness doesn't always come from "just going with the flow", because what might be right for a few might not be right for you. A life filled with happiness doesn't happen by accident. It happens by design. You have to put work in, to achieve a happy life. Happiness takes effort. Happiness comes from making and executing a plan. That plan may include changing your personal circle, your job, or even where you live. Sure, some things will still go haywire but that it just a part of the human experience. Design, execute, and make the adjustments along the way in order to live a life of happiness. Once you determine what level of happiness you want and deserve, maintaining it is the easy part. Notice that I didn't say anything about settling for a level of happiness. Raise your standards and don't settle for less. Don't attach your happiness to any one or any thing. Attach your happiness to you and you alone. People and things are only there to add to our happiness not define it. That job, house, car, or significant other are only there to add to your happiness. To many time we believe that if we get these things or accomplish that goal, we will be happy. You are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. You and you alone are in charge or your happiness. When I finally realized this, my life began to dramatically change. I began to live my life differently. Stress and drama began to leave my life. That's not saying that I still don't get drama and stress in my life, but I get to choose how big of a role they will play in my life. People and things will let you down and when you place your happiness on them, that is when you live a life full of drama and stress. People wonder why their life sucks and why good things never happen for them. Take a few moments and see what you have attached your happiness to. Make sure that your happiness it only attached to you and everything else is only there to add to your happiness. If you have something taking away from your happiness, it's time for a change. It might mean that you need to change or that you need to change or remove something that you have allowed into your life. Sure change can be scary, but without it, we a destined to life a life of misery. What is your happiness worth and what are you willing to do to have more happiness in your life? Take the time to design what you want your happiness to look and feel like. Execute your plan. Make adjustments a long the way. Never lower your standards, because you deserve the best.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Daily Opportunity

Approach each day with the understanding that opportunities await you....because they does. To many times we have the mindset that opportunity is only this huge moment in life. So we cower away from most opportunities because we fear the changes associated with that opportunity and because we fear the unknown. Most of the time, opportunities aren't like that at all. Most of the time, opportunities are small, seemingly insignificant things that we pass on every day. When these seemingly small opportunities present themselves, we very nonchalantly turn away from them, thinking that they are just insignificant and won't change our lives liked we were hoping. We miss so many opportunities in live because we have the wrong mindset. Wake up every morning with the mindset that opportunity awaits you. No matter how small the opportunity may seem, you will seek it out and capture it. The reason this opportunity is there for you, is because you are ready and able to take it. So don't allow fear to hold you back. Don't allow what seems to be insignificant now, hold you back from something that could turn into something huge in the future.Opportunities, come in so many forms that we need to broaden our definition of what we think opportunity really is. Most of the time we only equate opportunity with financial gain. Every day we have the opportunity to brighten someone's day, to lend a helping hand, to educate ourselves, or to broaden our horizons. Sometimes, we are someone's opportunity. Become more open to all this journey in life has to offer. I don't believe that any opportunity is insignificant or pointless. We just merely need to become more open and receptive to what is happening around us. What opportunities will you come into contact with today? What opportunities will you take action on and which ones will you miss because they didn't fit the mold of what you thought opportunities looked like? This blog was inspired by an opportunity that I took just yesterday. I stopped and talked to the branch manager of a bank ,that had expressed some interest in my life coaching, to let her know about my up coming "Val-You Conference." She looked at her calender, and discovered that she will be gone on vacation that day. We discussed some of the difficulties that I was having find a conference room in our local community to hold that conference here as well. She told me that if I would get some materials together, they might have an opening the be a featured business of the month for their branch. What an opportunity. All because I saw an opening to share my upcoming event, it turned into something else and we will see where it takes us. Find daily opportunity in your life and take it...period.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Guaranteed R.O.I.

They say that if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is. But, hear me out. This investment is guaranteed to give you a positive return on your investment. Not only that, but the returns compound over time. The government has no way of taxing it and no penalties for earlier withdrawal. No need for a broker, so you will save those fees as well. So are ready to hear where you can make this amazing investment? In you. That's right, invest in you. With this investment comes happiness, peace, confidence, a better self-image, probably more money, and better health. Who wouldn't want these things? Now that I have shared with you some of the things that this investment will bring to you, let me share what it could cost you. After all, it is an investment. This investment will cost you time, sleep, and money, but you get to decide how much of each you are willing to invest. But remember, the more you invest, the bigger and quicker your R.O.I.(return on investment). How do you invest in you? That is somewhat up to the individual, but some of the basics don't change. You will have to read and/or listen to audio books on self improvement. You will have to listen and/ or watch motivational seminars. You will have to apply the knowledge that you have gained from these books and seminars to your life. These are not options, but musts, for this investment to work. You can't do these things occasionally either. They must be completed a minimum of 5-7 times a week for at least an hour each day. But Dan, I don't have time. Most people get a break or two and a lunch period at work. Instead of gossiping in the lunch room, use that time and invest in you. Turn off the TV and skip watching another "reality" show and invest in you. I don't have the money for the materials that I need, get a library card. The library has an almost endless supply of the materials that you will need and, most likely, if they don't have it, they will try to get it for you. You can also use the internet for videos and I have bought several books from Dollar Tree over the past couple of years and guess what, each book only cost a dollar. Here are some added returns that you will get by making this investment. Your personal relationships will improve, you will have better job performance(even if you don't like you job), you will become a better parent, and best of all the sun seems to shine a little brighter(even on cloudy day, or at least it has to me). I know, I made it sound so simple, but it works. A couple more things before I let you go out and begin your investment. You can begin this investment at any age, you will develop habits that should inspire the next generation, and you will change your world.

If you aren't sure what to read or watch, please contact me at aiaolifecoaching@gmail.com and I can share some of my favorites with you.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

My 100 Pounds

 The picture above shows me, on the left, on May 1st, 2003. I'm not quite sure how much I weighed in that picture, but I believe it was around 240lbs. Even in this picture, I had lost some weight from my heaviest. I'm not really sure what I weighed when I was at my heaviest. The last thing that I wanted to look at was the scale. I has a very poor self image. I was living my life with the mindset that I was the "short fat kid in school." I had never really watched what I ate let alone exercised, especially since High School. In 2002 I have left retail for a warehouse job. I needed out of the stresses of being a manager and just go to work, punch a clock, do my job, and go home. The warehouse job was perfect for me. What I didn't realize, how physical this job was going to be. This job kicked my butt! I'm not afraid of hard work, but holy cow. I was even sore after a couple of days. With this increased physical activity, I began to lose weight. Imagine that, losing weight with increased physical activity. So, I decided to start watching what I consumed to help this weight loss along. Sure enough, it helped. Now, when I say, I watched what I consumed, don't get that confused with "dieting." I still ate what I liked, but just ate smaller portions. I limited myself to just one can of soda per day as opposed to the 4 or more that I had been drinking. Over the next year or so, the weight just kept dropping and I soon got to under 200 lbs. I felt amazing and my body was getting down to what I had weighted in High School. The weight seemed to stop dropping at around 185lbs. I was able to maintain that weight for the couple of years. Even though I knew that I was still overweight, I didn't feel obese. I had a different self image. In 2006 I began to realize that even though I had lost all this weight, playing with my son was still a struggle at times. Sure, I had more energy, but I had no stamina. I was out of shape. In early 2007 I decided to purchase P90x. I was going to work on my body and get in better shape and lose some more weight. What I found out was, P90x is not for beginners! Exercise and I had been mortal enemies for so long that jumping into this program insane. To make a long story short, I managed my way through the program the program, not once but twice. In 2008, in order to replace the cardio days of the program with something I could do outside, I began running. Once again, running, a form of exercise, we had been mortal enemies. I motivated myself through it and in 2009 ran the full 6 mile of The Great River Bridge Run in Burlington, IA in just under an hour. Also in 2009, I got down to around 165 lbs. I am guessing that in total I had lost almost 100 lbs. As of today I have put back on about 30 lbs, but I began running again this week and plan on losing 20 lbs. This weight loss journey had many ups and downs. I wanted to give up and I wanted to quit. But what I understood was, all the effort and pain that I am going through today, will pay HUGE in the end, if I just stick with it. I wasn't disappointed.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

That's me in the orange shirt crossing the finish line of the Great River Bridge Race in '09.