Twice The Father's Day

Father's Day has, at times, been a bit awkward for me.  As many of you know, my Father died when I was almost 4. I have no memories, only photos and stories, that others have told me, to relate to when it comes to my Father. I know that my Father wasn't perfect in his 28 short years here on Earth. He, like all of us, had his faults. But what I have found out, is that, my Father, left a legacy. I have had, over the years, a chance to meet several people who knew my Dad. All of them, remember my Dad with such great admiration. He was a very loved man who touched so many lives, many of which, he probably never knew that he did. Even though my Father's time here on Earth was rather short, he made an impact on so many people.

Three things have come out of this situation for me. One, even though my Father isn't here, I want to live my life in a way that you make him proud. Two, make sure that I leave the kind of legacy that he did. Three, be the kind of Dad that he never had the chance to be.

Father's Family Name
by Anonymous

You got it from your father
It was all he had to give
So it's yours to use and cherish
For as long as you may live

If you lost the watch he gave you
It can always be replaced;
But a black mark on your name
Can never be erased

It was clean the day you took it
And a worthy name to bear
When he got it from his father
There was no dishonor there

So make sure you guard it wisely
After all is said and done
You'll be glad the name is spotless
When you give it to your son.

I hope that my kids, know how much I love them, how proud I am of them, and that leaving the right legacy  will effect generations to come.

The second part of Father's Day came about 25 years ago when my Mom got remarried. My Step-Dad has been amazing. He took on a teenager who could be rather unruly and that had anger management issues. He took on the role of Step-Dad and never looked back. Sure, him and I have had our issues, but I have never questioned his commitment to me or my Mom. He also showed my how to be a Step-Dad, which I didn't know that I would be one until about 10 years ago. I love my Step-Dad and am eternally grateful for all that he has done for me and my family.

This is for you Dave:


I hope, that when my time is done here on Earth, that my children will be proud to say that I was their Dad and Step-Dad. I know that I haven't been a perfect Dad/Step-Dad, but I take that role very seriously and love my family more than they will ever know.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Danger...Quicksand!!!

You may never have to come face to face with actual quicksand in your life. That moment, when you realize that the ground you are standing on is giving way. The terror that suddenly engulfs your emotions as you frantically look for a way out. How fast are you sinking? Is there a nearby limb that you can grab a hold of and pull yourself out? Is there someone with you on this expedition that can come to your rescue if you scream for help? How will you survive?

The quicksand that most of us will faces, is that of mediocrity and stagnation. What happens is, we get stuck in one place for to long. I'm not specifically talking about a geographic location, but a mental state. We get stuck in our past, our current circumstance, or maybe a relationship. We get comfortable with the way it feels and before we know it, it starts to drag us down. At first, many times, we don't even realize it. We are so focused on the problem that we miss that it is actually having a deeper effect on us. It is preventing us from moving in a positive direction. And like I have said before, if we aren't moving in a positive direction, then we are moving in a negative direction. Don't allow circumstances, the past, or a relationship to hold you back. You have an opportunity to move forward in a positive way every day. You can either move forward or you can get stuck and begin to sink.

I have had many times in my life where I allowed quicksand to bring me down. Yes, I said allowed. Since I know that I am in control of my life, it was my choice to stay there and get sucked down. The problem was, by allowing myself to do that, I had to fight to get out. Once I was out, I realized that I had actually went back and I had to get back to where I was mentally before I got sucked in. Still to this day, I have moments, and days, and sometimes even a week of quicksand. But with time, wisdom, and being aware of my surrounding, I have been able to limit my time there as I have gotten older.

We can also get stuck in the quicksand of success. Yes, we spend to much time basking in the glory of a winning moment in our lives, that that too becomes a kind of quicksand. I'm not saying that you shouldn't rejoice in a victory, but just don't stay there too long. Be ready to move on before you become stagnant.

My analytical mind sometimes annoys my family. But I try to always be aware of my current situation in life and aware if I am sinking. I was a Boy Scout when I was a boy and learned about, "Be Prepared." Make sure, while on your journey in life, that you always have a plan B(a branch to reach out and grab for when you get stuck in the quicksand). I also learned in my teen years to surround myself with the right people. I know that if I surround myself with the right people, we will be there for each other in times of need. Asking for help isn't a matter of weakness, it's a matter of staying strong.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Gotta Take Them Both

The past few days have been a roller coaster of sorts for me. It has had some great moments and a few discouraging as well. But isn't that the way life seems to work sometimes?
Thursday morning I had my follow up appointment with an orthopedic doctor concerning my knew. The fracture is healed and we are going to proceed with my knee surgery on Tuesday. I have some apprehensions about having surgery. Since I haven't had surgery since I was 4 years old, which I don't remember, I am a little nervous but I know that all will work out for the best in the end. I will be able to get back to running and accomplish my goal of running a 7 mile event in 2014. Later that night, I held a conference that lacked the turn out that I was hoping for. I know that everything happens for a reason but we still tend to have certain expectations in life. Sometimes, the higher our expectations, the greater risk for disappointment. I believe in the law of attraction, however, I can only control my actions not what other people do. Even though the turn out was less than I desired, I still gave it 100%. I showed up and gave it my my best, because those who came deserved my best. Turns out, a lady that attended works at a local community college and may have some speaking opportunities for me in the future. I was taught a long time ago that the most important people are the ones who show up.
On Saturday, I attended the wedding of some very good friends. What a beautiful wedding and fun reception. Since the bride, groom, and I all graduated from the same small school, the reception was more like a class reunion for multiple classes. I always enjoy catching up with friends who I haven't seen in a few years. The down side to the night was, a close friend of mine has decided to make some changes in his life and has decided to shut me and some other friends completely out of his life. It's a shame that he has made this decision, but it is his life to live and all I can do is move on with my life and wish him the best. The upside, I was complimented on my facebook posts. I know that if I start my day on a positive note, I greatly increase my chances of having a positive day. In sharing these posts, I have touched other people's lives. I was very happy and flattered that I had reach some of them in their time of need. 
We have to learn to take the good with the bad. Bad things are just going to happen, but life will also throw some good in there and if you sow enough good into your own life, the good will outweigh the bad. I am so thankful for for all the aspects of my life. The good and the bad. Everything has it's place and a reason why it happens. It has taken some time, but the life that I desire is beginning to happen. I am thankful for my journey and all of it's ups and downs for without them I would not be where I am today.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Sandwiched Between

A friend of mine recently posted this photo on facebook and it is so true. For generation upon generation, we have heard the fairy tale stories. Sometimes, I think that we get so caught up in the "happily ever after, that we forget about how the characters got there. All the stories I remember, the hero or heroine of the story had to face some adversity to get to the "happily ever after." We've got the "once upon a time" down, because we know where our life started. But we seem to get lost between the beginning and the end. We know that we want the happy ending but get stuck when adversity strikes. Our ending doesn't have to be something that we settle for, it's something that we design. I'm not saying that every detail is designed, because we all know that life has a way of throwing us for a loop at times. But what I am saying is that we have options. In no way shape of form should we just be settling for what life hands us. We have the ability to create that storybook life, that we all say that we want. When that adversity comes, what are you going to do about it? If your answer is, "I don't know" then you need to figure it out. If you are not a part of your own solution, then you are a part of your own problem. I've always said, "Where there's a will, there's a way." If you really wanted to have that happy ending, you would find a way. Stop complaining about the adversity and obstacles and get to working on getting through it. Life will give you what you want, it will give you what you deserve. Put in the work, believe that it will happen, and watch your efforts change your circumstances. Obstacles and adversities are put in our live for mainly two reasons. One, to make us stronger and to prepare us for what is next and two, to test our resolve. Is what we say we want really what we want or are we just playing lip service? You are ready have the "Once upon a time", figure out what your "Happily ever after" is, now have the faith that it will happen and work like hell to accomplish it.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Squished, Just Like Grape

So, I'm sitting here watching The Karate Kid and got inspired to write this post. Early in the movie, Mr. Miyagi asks Daniel if he is ready to learn karate. Daniel says, "Guess so." Mr. Miyagi explains that if you walk on the left or right side of the you are okay but if you walk In the middle you will get "squished, just like a grape." He exposes the lesson by telling Daniel that if he must choose either karate yes or karate no. Karate guess so would caused him to get "squished, just like grape."

Our lives are much like this example. We can choose to ignore our destiny and live in mediocrity or we can choose to live our destiny and live happy fulfilling lives. It's when we "guess so" about our destiny that we live in distress. We get frustrated, stressed, and live in misery. It's when we give our passions and dreams a half hearted effort that we struggle the most. Instead is giving it our all, we gave it less then our best. Then say, it won't work and that it must not have been meant for us. If it's in your heart, it's meant to be.

We also get distract by what seems like meaningless work in the pursuit of our destiny. Mr. Miyagi has Daniel to wax on and wax off, sand the floor, paint the fence, and even paint the house. Daniel gets frustrated that he isn't being taught karate. Then Mr. Miyagi reveals to him that what seemed like chores were really hidden karate moves. When we are patient and persistent with our efforts, life have a way of revealing that it has all bee a part of the journey. Stop trying to understand the process and just keep giving it your best. The Universe wants you to reach your full potential but leave the process to the Universe and the effort up to you. You deserve your best.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

To Have or Not To Have

All too often we get stuck in the rut of being a "have not." We believe that the reason or reasons that we are lacking in a certain area of our life is due to something outside of ourselves. We believe that "they" were born into it or that "they" got lucky. The reason that we believe these things is because all we see are the end results. Most of the time we don't see or hear about all the years of hard work that "they" put in before they became successful. There is no such thing as an overnight success. There are years and years of hard work that happen before success comes. The biggest difference between "them" and us, is they decided to act upon an opportunity and continually work at it until they achieved their desired result. What results do you wish to see in your life? Do they involve happiness, relationships, monetary, or career? What are you willing to do to achieve these results? What are you willing to sacrifice to reach these results? So now that you have answered these questions, just do it. The biggest difference between those who have their desired results and those who don't are those who do what is necessary and those who make excuses. We allow ourselves to accept excuses as to why we don't have the life that we desire.

A week ago, I was told that I would be on crutches for four weeks. Before I even left the parking lot, I was already discussing, with my boss, what I could do at work. Instead of worrying about what my limitations would be, I was concentrating on what I would be able to do. I was already formulating a plan of action. I could have taken the easy route, filed for my short-term disability, and sat at home and did nothing.  I decided to stay working, change a part of my role at work, and still remain and active member of the team.

Stop cluttering up your mind with what you can't do and become a part of the solution by concentrating on what you can do. Either you are a part of the solution or you are a part of the problem. Either you are doing what you can or you are making excuses. Either you are a have or a have not. It's your life, how will you decide to live it. Sure obstacles will arise, but choose to adapt, improvise, and overcome those obstacles. Make a difference in your life today and become a doer in order to become a have kind of person.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

By Design, Not By Accident

We will spend, sometimes months, designing our week long vacation. We go through every detail. Plane or drive? What hotels will we stay at? What shopping and restaurants do we want to take in? What new activities do we want to try? Why do we spend so much time planning for a week of our live and yet so little time planning a happy life? Happiness doesn't always come from "just going with the flow", because what might be right for a few might not be right for you. A life filled with happiness doesn't happen by accident. It happens by design. You have to put work in, to achieve a happy life. Happiness takes effort. Happiness comes from making and executing a plan. That plan may include changing your personal circle, your job, or even where you live. Sure, some things will still go haywire but that it just a part of the human experience. Design, execute, and make the adjustments along the way in order to live a life of happiness. Once you determine what level of happiness you want and deserve, maintaining it is the easy part. Notice that I didn't say anything about settling for a level of happiness. Raise your standards and don't settle for less. Don't attach your happiness to any one or any thing. Attach your happiness to you and you alone. People and things are only there to add to our happiness not define it. That job, house, car, or significant other are only there to add to your happiness. To many time we believe that if we get these things or accomplish that goal, we will be happy. You are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. You and you alone are in charge or your happiness. When I finally realized this, my life began to dramatically change. I began to live my life differently. Stress and drama began to leave my life. That's not saying that I still don't get drama and stress in my life, but I get to choose how big of a role they will play in my life. People and things will let you down and when you place your happiness on them, that is when you live a life full of drama and stress. People wonder why their life sucks and why good things never happen for them. Take a few moments and see what you have attached your happiness to. Make sure that your happiness it only attached to you and everything else is only there to add to your happiness. If you have something taking away from your happiness, it's time for a change. It might mean that you need to change or that you need to change or remove something that you have allowed into your life. Sure change can be scary, but without it, we a destined to life a life of misery. What is your happiness worth and what are you willing to do to have more happiness in your life? Take the time to design what you want your happiness to look and feel like. Execute your plan. Make adjustments a long the way. Never lower your standards, because you deserve the best.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big