Become The Best Benchwarmer

How many stories have you heard about professional athletes who were second or third string, on the practice squad, or in the minor leagues then all of a sudden they got their chance? Then, just as soon as they got into shape, practiced a few more jump shots, spent another week with the pitching coach, or learned how to run a passing route, they showed up for the game. That’s how they did it right? No, they were ready the moment the call came in. They had spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes years waiting for this moment to come. They had dreamed of this very opportunity, they had visualized it in their mind, and acted as though it was going to happen.

Shouldn’t pursuing our goals be the same? Shouldn’t we have dreamed of the opportunity, visualized it in our mind, and acted as though it was going to happen? They say that many time successful people were just lucky. I say that they were prepared for when their opportunity. They put in the hours, days, weeks, and sometimes even years of hard work to be ready when their opportunity came. This is what separates the good from the great. The part of the story that is rarely told is about all of the hard work, the determination, the frustrations, and set backs that they went through to get to this moment.

I am willing to guarantee that if you will put in consistent and persistent effort towards achieving your dreams, it WILL pay off. I don’t know when that call will come but isn’t it better to be ready when opportunity comes knock instead of having to say, “Can you give me just a few more months?” It’s not about what you don’t have to get you where you want to be, it’s about doing the most with what you have now. Put in the work, accept nothing less of yourself, and before you know it, your dreams will start coming true.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Did I Pursue The Wrong Dream?

A couple of years ago, while on vacation with family in Alabama, we stayed in a motel that wasn’t exactly what they led us to believe on their website. The indoor pool was closed, the room was smaller than expected, the room was not as clean nor maintained as we expected. There was a party upstairs with what seemed to me to be a rough crowd. As I was trying to fall sleep, I was just waiting to hear gun shots and dreading what condition I might find my car in in the morning considering I was from out of state. We thought about changing motels, but we had already paid for them and we would have lost our money plus had to pay for another room somewhere else. The good news is, nothing bad happened and we got through our three day stay there.

Dreams and goals can sometimes be like this as well. We paint a great picture in our mind of what it will look and feel like when we achieve our dreams. We just know that achieving this will change our lives and we will be so happy. But when we get there it isn’t exactly all that we thought that is was cracked up to be. It doesn’t feel nor look anything like the picture in our mind and we aren’t as happy as we thought we would be. WOW, what a major let down! We have our next dream lined up, but it’s still a work in progress, so we are stuck with what we have. Now what do we do?

I know this situation all to well. I understand that everything happens for a reason, but I am not always the most patient person in waiting for the “why.” So here I sit with a dream that I am no longer driven to sustain and another dream that I am working on but haven’t achieved. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have days where the frustrations of being where I no longer want to be override the enthusiasm of chasing a dream. Those are the days that I need to force myself to make bigger strides toward my dream, so that is why I am writing this at Midnight when I have to be up at 7:00 A.M. This is a part of my story that I want to share and probably therapeutic for me as well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I chased the dream and I am proud of my accomplishments. I learned a lot along the way that will help me in the future. I believe that this is just a part of the process that I must go through in order to become the best me possible. It’s a part of my journey in this thing called life. I have nothing in this life that I regret and I won’t start now. So for now, I will keep this “motel room” and remember what is was like to stay here. This way when I get to the next one, I will remember where I came from and what it took me to get here.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or Email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com

Losing To Win

I know that we have all been in those situations that it seems like no matter what we do, it's a losing battle. No matter where we look, it's a dead end. No matter what decisions that we try to make, they are wrong. It feels like the world is slowly closing in on us and that the situation is completely hopeless. I know that I have had many of these situations in my life and that I have felt exactly like this. It has seemed as though the only solution would be to just give up and quit.

So, I have done just that, quit. I gave up. The problem is, it didn't fix the problem and many times it made it worse. My Parents always said that I would have to learn everything the hard way and until I was in my mid 20's they were right. I finally figured out, the hard way, that quitting doesn't work. 

The same holds true for your dreams. Quitting doesn't work. When things get tough, and they will, keep moving forward. Even the smallest amount of pursuit is better then no pursuit. If you are moving forward towards your dream, you make it damn near impossible to go backwards.

I also believe that you have to be willing to lose the battle, at times, to win the war. You see, no matter how bad we can want something in life, the path that we have chosen, will get changed on us from time to time. You can try as you might to push yourself down a certain path towards your dreams, but that might not be the right path for you right now. Don't give up, change your tactics and perspective. Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome!!!

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!
Don't forget to find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com 

It's Still A Monkey In A Suit

You only get one change to make a first impression, but you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. You can't have it both ways. Which is it? For those who know me, know that I am a simple man with a wardrobe to match. I am by no means on the cutting edge of fashion and should probably be on an episode of "What Not To Wear." In a world obsessed with outward appearances it is easy to see why people feel the need to spend thousands on clothing each year. Shoes-$100; Pants-$100; Shirt-$65; Underclothes-$20...I don't think that this is much of an exaggeration and that's just one outfit. I won't even go into the cost of some of the other things that we spend our money on to look our best. 

I have no problem with looking good for the sake of it making us feel better about ourselves. However, it can't replace a well developed self-confidence but should merely enhance it. Contrary to popular belief, the clothes do not make the person, but the person makes the clothes. You can try to cover up what your feel are your personal short comings, but eventually they will come out.


You can put on your best clothes for that job interview, sales presentation, or a first date and that might make that good first impression. However, eventually what is on the inside will come out. If you don't have job knowledge, don't know the sales numbers, or have self-confidence, you are just a "monkey in a suit."


If we would spend just half of the time and money working on inward appearance as they do their outward appearance, how much more could we accomplish? When we work on what's on the inside, we gain value. When we gain value, we gain self-confidence, desire to accomplish, and our dreams start to come true. I would like to challenge everyone to just spend 30 days working on their inward appearance. What is something about you that you wish you would like to change? For me, it was reading personal development books. Learning about how I can become a better me so that I can help others do the same. When we begin to change how we feel on the inside about ourselves, things on the outside seem to matter less.


I look forward to hearing about your journey. You can contact me at AIAO Life Coaching on Facebook or your can email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Almost 40yrs old and living in my parents' basement?

What started out as only a couple of days a week, just to get more sleep and save some money on gas, has turned into 5 or more days a week. I see my wife and son about 6 days a month. The rest of the time is spent at my parent's house, mostly in the basement. How and why did this happen? The how I can answer with facts but the why...I can only speculate. In May of 2010, I took a transfer with my job back to Burlington, which is an hour away from where I live, where I was born and raised. The plan was to sell our house and move there. Needless to say, the house didn't sell. Then throw into the mix, Bentley, my Grandson being born. He spent the first three weeks of his life in the NICU. My wife and daughter spent those three weeks with Bentley in Iowa City, so I just stayed in Burlington except on my day(s) off when I would go to see them. Follow that up with the Christmas season in retail, which means six day work weeks, so I would just go home on my one day off a week. Many consider me a workaholic, which many be true. After the Christmas season, I have continued to work six days most weeks and not drive back and forth. My wife and I understand that this has been our decision and we are accepting of it's benefits and struggles even though, at times, it hasn't been easy. I believe that we have grown closer and stronger as individuals through this time. Sure I miss my family and I know that they miss me.

During this time we've had a financial issue arise, last November, that made me realize that "I don't want to live like this anymore". It's not that I don't make good money, because I do. We don't have extravagant things because we don't. We had been irresponsible with our money in the past, most of which we had since taken care of, but we missed one. But it wasn't just about money, something inside of me snapped and made me realize that I was not living up to my potential in life. I wasn't doing what made me happy.

I have always had a desire to learn more about the field of Psychology and Counselling. I have had friends and family come the me with their struggles in life. I enjoy the process of helping them see the problem for what it really was and then how to grow from it and how to change from it. I began to spend my time, in the basement, reading and learning about Life Coaching and Motivational Speaking. I like the the opportunity that these two fields will give me to help others without many of the rules and regulations that Psychology and Counselling have. As many of you know, I like to challenge rules and regulations. 

I wanted to take this opportunity to share with everyone where my life has taken me in the past year. I don't want to make it all sound like it has all been bad. I have had the opportunity to spend some time with my parents that most people my age don't get. I have read over a dozen books since December to better improve on my weaknesses for my career as a Life Coach & Motivational Speaker. I have learned a lot about me and where I want to go in life. 


In closing, I want to say thank you to my family and friends who have supported me in my quest. Please take the time to "Like" me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching if you would like to follow me on my quest.

I Am In Love With Myself

I have come to learn that there is a difference between loving and being in love. There are a lot of people in this world that I love but I am only in love with two people. I love my children, my grandson, family, and friends. I am in love with my wife and myself. Ok, so that probably sounded conceited, but we all know that importance of loving yourself.

I believe that we can also love and be in love with some of the things in our lives. We can love material things because they bring a certain amount of happiness. The things and people that we are in live with bring us the most happiness. I think that it’s important that we add more things to our lives that we love and are in love with.

Sometimes, we can convince ourselves that we are in love with certain aspects of our lives. Many times we have accepted these aspects due to necessity or because we have settled for less than we are truly capable of doing. I know that I am guilty of this very kind of acceptance. Where I allow mediocrity into my life, I have stifled happiness from entering my life. There are things in my life that I am in the process of changing in order to bring me more happiness. I know that happiness breeds happiness. The same is true for mediocrity. I feel that it’s important to find out what in our lives we only like and find more of what we love.

Believe that you deserve to be happy. Find out what you love and are in love with in life. Be daring enough to pursue those thing. Commit yourself to achieving your greatness.

Thank You Kelly

In 1998 I had an opportunity to meet a man that made a big impact in my life. His name, Kelly and we lived in the same apartment complex. He was a well built man, who had made a very good life for him and his family from his own construction company. What made Kelly different was that he had Multiple-sclerosis. Now I don’t know a whole lot about the disease but from what I was told, this was the worse case his doctors had ever seen. By the time that I had me Kelly, the MS had already ravaged most of his body.  He was a man that could barely walk. Most of the time he needed help to get into a wheelchair just to get from the car to the front door of his apartment. Many of his movements were jerky at best. His speech was very hard to understand. Kelly was only in my life for about a year before my job moved me to Omaha, NE but the lesson that I learned from Kelly was invaluable. It didn’t matter to him what condition the MS was leaving his body in on any particular day, Kelly always had a smile on his face. Many times, to show his approval, a thumbs up was all he could muster. Every time that I saw Kelly, he knew that he had what a lot of people were missing in life, perspective. You see, when he found out what was going to happen to his body because of the MS, he sold his business, and divorced his wife. Now you might ask, why a divorce? He believed that his wife deserved to move on with her life. From my understanding, his now ex-wife, stayed in his life and saw him on a regular basis. I could tell that Kelly was a proud man and asking for help humbled him greatly. But he also knew that he couldn’t do it alone. I remember a couple of times, I had to pick him up off the ground because the woman that took care of him couldn’t do it on her own. The first time that I came to help they both looked at me funny and wondered how a 5 foot 6 inch person was going to pick up a man of just over 6 foot that had over 50 lbs on him off the ground. I showed them that it was the will to help and not the circumstances that would make it happen. Kelly and I became pretty good friends after that. I learned from Kelly that it’s not our situations in life that controls us. Oh sure, his body wasn’t was it used to be, but his mind was still in tact. You see, he taught me that no matter what is happening around me or to me, it’s all about my attitude towards it that makes all the difference. I have read in books about the importance of our attitude in life, but seeing it in action, is a whole different thing. A few years later, I had heard that Kelly had passed away. I was saddened by the news. I knew that in his parting from this world, he left with a smile on his face and a thumb in the air. Thank you Kelly for teaching me that it’s not about the struggle but about the perspective that we choose to have about it that makes all the difference in the world.