Prove Them Wrong

I was told as young boy, repeatedly by a certain adult, that I would never amount to anything. I allowed these words influence me into early twenties. I allowed those words to echo in my mind when ever I would try achieve something new. In my early twenties I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful couple that help me realize that I had something special. They believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. They introduced me to the world of motivational speakers and self-help. They helped me to gain a larger vision of myself. As I began to develope myself, I made the decision that I would use those words, "You'll never amount to anything" to motivate me. I decided that I would prove that person wrong.

Be careful what you say to people and especially children. My wife and I believe that, in correcting our children, we are upset with the action and never the child. The child is never stupid but maybe the action was. We have great kids, but sometimes their actions weren't so great. I believe that we have to treat adults the same. In my years of experience as a manager, the action needed corrected not the person. When we direct our frustrations toward an individual and not their action, we are merely tearing down their self-esteem. I was taught years ago, as a sales manager, to critique in the "Build-Burn-Build" method. "Build" them up by telling them what they did right. "Burn" down what they did wrong and give them solutions as to what might have worked better. Finally, "Build" them back up and reenforce what they can do better next time. Try it the next time you have a conflict to resolve and let me know how it works for you.


Don't let the foolish words of someone else dictate your life. I allowed this person's opinion of me to become my reality for years. Once I came to the realization, that I could be and was so much better than this person thought I was, the sky was the limit. It took a couple of years to really erase all those years of believing that I wouldn't amount to anything. It took a lot of personal growth on my part and a lot of love and support from some very special people in my life. It was well worth the journey.

Some would say that I have accomplished a lot with my life, and to them I say, "Thank you." Personally, I know that I have only touched the tip of this iceberg. Many years have passed since I last heard those words from that person, "You'll never amount to anything" and from what I understand, they have loosely kept track of me over the years. To that person I would like to say, "I proved you wrong." The greatest revenge is massive success. Go out and prove your critics wrong.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges

I am a fan of MMA and I recently had the opportunity to attend a great night of amateur fights. The night had a little bit of everything. Submissions, knockouts, TKOs’, and some even went the distance. Dana White, President of  the UFC, has said it over and over again, “  Never leave it in the hands of the judges.”  Meaning, either knock your opponent out or make them quit. When you go the distance and leave it up to the judges, your fate is now in their hands. I have watch many fights go the distance and the person who I thought won , and many others watching the fight thought had won, ended up losing the decision. For what ever reason, the judges saw it differently than the rest of us.

This is exactly what happen to a friend of mine during his fight the other night. His title fight went all five rounds and ended up going to the judges scorecards. Sure, the guy that he was fighting was the hometown favorite fighting in his hometown, and was the defending champion. But all that aside, my friend didn’t finish the fight. He lost a very close split decision and I think that the crowd was as split as the judges.

There are two things in life that I don’t think that we should leave up to the “judges.". One is our challenges and the other is our dreams. We need to go into the fights with our challenges and dreams with the attitude that we are going to finish them on our terms. When we do just enough to get by and leave the rest to sort itself out instead of finishing, we stand the chance of it not ended the way we planned. Now I know that we will not always get everything exactly the way we want it in life. But I would rather “leave it all in the cage” and know that I gave it all I’ve got, than to leave my fate in the hands of someone else.

When we are not pursuing our own dreams, we are then pursuing the dreams of someone else or the dreams that someone else has for us. When we are not trying to overcome the challenges that come our way in life, we are then allowing life to control us instead of us controlling our lives. I know some of the challenges that I will face in the pursuit of my dreams. I can see some of the obstacles that I will face in the pursuit of my dreams and I am not willing to leave that in the hands of the judges. I am not will to wait and see what happens. I am willing to enter the cage and look my opponent in the eyes, whether it be challenges in life or my dreams, and leave it all in the cage. I will go ahead and put my dreams and life’s challenges on notice. I’m coming for you and I am going for the knockout or the submission and if for some reason it has to go to the decision, even if I lose the decision, I will know that I did my best. I know that I gave it my all. I left it all in the cage and I will learn and grow from my experience so that next time, I will leave no doubt that I WON.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

I Want To Meet Me

This past Tuesday I was invited to participate in a conference call with other motivational speakers and entrepreneurs from around the country and over seas. My friend Jim Hernandez, a fellow motivational speaker, shared a story how he took advantage of an opportunity to meet one of his heroes, Les Brown. The question was then ask, “Who would you like to meet and why?” People answered everything from other speakers, the President, Oprah, to local business leaders. 

I have a few people that I would like to meet, such as Scott Alexander(an author), Les Brown, Guy Fieri, Gordon Ramsay, and a few others. However, the person that I want to meet the most is me. I know that that answer sounds a little strange but follow me for a moment. I, like most of you, have big dreams and goals. I want to meet the me that has accomplished those things in life. I want to meet the person that I aspire to be. I want to meet me at my very best.

I know that life has struggles, set back, and things will come along that will stop you in your tracks in the pursuit of your dreams. I want to meet the me that is going to achieve those dreams in spite of these obstacles. I want to meet the me that didn’t take “no” for an answer. I have my weaknesses and short comings, but I know that I have what it takes to push beyond what I am currently capable of and become the person that I aspire to be.

I want each and every one of you to aspire to meet the you that you want to become. I want each and every one of you to meet you at your very best that you can be. The person that has accomplished your dreams. We all seem to quickly make the decision not to lose, but we procrastinate the decision to win. Make a step and decision today to start winning. It’s harder to lose if you are winning.

I also wanted to touch on the subject of surrounding yourself with right people. The conference call was so motivating. I put myself around people who are expecting to win. Most of us didn’t know what the other persons’ dreams and goals are, but we encouraged each other any way. I have a handful of friends with that same mindset. We need those kind of people in our lives. In a world full of negative, find those who will support and encourage you. They don’t have to understand all that you are trying to accomplish, they just need to be your cheerleaders.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Who me...a perfectionist?

So, I started writing a new post last night from one of my many random notes that I had written months ago. Something about it didn't feel right. I felt like I was forcing it so I deleted it. And I am glad that I did because the last thing that I want to do is not speak from my heart when I post on my blog.

Today, while I was at work, I had an opportunity to talk to a Counselor friend of mine who reminded me that I am a perfectionist. I guess that I don't see myself as one, but many family members would disagree with me. We were discussing the "fear" that I have about my upcoming speech. I don't want to give so much information that it become a jumbled mess. But, I also don't want to give so little that my audience is left uninspired due to lack of information. My friends have told me to speak from my heart and be real. I have never really been a person to speak from anywhere but my heart. I have a passion for people and I love it when I have the opportunity to help them become their best. Help them realize the positive changes that can transform their lives.

It's been said that perfection is never a destination but a journey and I totally agree. I feel that once you accept that you are where you are in life because of the choices you have made you can start that journey. Part of that journey is learning to speak to yourself from your heart and be real and accept it as constructive criticism and not get down about it. You have to know where you are before you can get to where you want to be in life. Once you accept you for you and begin to love yourself, you can begin to make the changes to become the best you possible. In my personal journey, finding the person that I want to be has been a wonderful trip but not always easy. I am just getting started and I am excited to where this can take me and who I can become. Sure, I have had to give myself some tough love but knowing that it is a part of the process. So in the pursuit of my personal perfection, I will always speak from the heart and always try to be real. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big 

Become The Best Benchwarmer

How many stories have you heard about professional athletes who were second or third string, on the practice squad, or in the minor leagues then all of a sudden they got their chance? Then, just as soon as they got into shape, practiced a few more jump shots, spent another week with the pitching coach, or learned how to run a passing route, they showed up for the game. That’s how they did it right? No, they were ready the moment the call came in. They had spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes years waiting for this moment to come. They had dreamed of this very opportunity, they had visualized it in their mind, and acted as though it was going to happen.

Shouldn’t pursuing our goals be the same? Shouldn’t we have dreamed of the opportunity, visualized it in our mind, and acted as though it was going to happen? They say that many time successful people were just lucky. I say that they were prepared for when their opportunity. They put in the hours, days, weeks, and sometimes even years of hard work to be ready when their opportunity came. This is what separates the good from the great. The part of the story that is rarely told is about all of the hard work, the determination, the frustrations, and set backs that they went through to get to this moment.

I am willing to guarantee that if you will put in consistent and persistent effort towards achieving your dreams, it WILL pay off. I don’t know when that call will come but isn’t it better to be ready when opportunity comes knock instead of having to say, “Can you give me just a few more months?” It’s not about what you don’t have to get you where you want to be, it’s about doing the most with what you have now. Put in the work, accept nothing less of yourself, and before you know it, your dreams will start coming true.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Did I Pursue The Wrong Dream?

A couple of years ago, while on vacation with family in Alabama, we stayed in a motel that wasn’t exactly what they led us to believe on their website. The indoor pool was closed, the room was smaller than expected, the room was not as clean nor maintained as we expected. There was a party upstairs with what seemed to me to be a rough crowd. As I was trying to fall sleep, I was just waiting to hear gun shots and dreading what condition I might find my car in in the morning considering I was from out of state. We thought about changing motels, but we had already paid for them and we would have lost our money plus had to pay for another room somewhere else. The good news is, nothing bad happened and we got through our three day stay there.

Dreams and goals can sometimes be like this as well. We paint a great picture in our mind of what it will look and feel like when we achieve our dreams. We just know that achieving this will change our lives and we will be so happy. But when we get there it isn’t exactly all that we thought that is was cracked up to be. It doesn’t feel nor look anything like the picture in our mind and we aren’t as happy as we thought we would be. WOW, what a major let down! We have our next dream lined up, but it’s still a work in progress, so we are stuck with what we have. Now what do we do?

I know this situation all to well. I understand that everything happens for a reason, but I am not always the most patient person in waiting for the “why.” So here I sit with a dream that I am no longer driven to sustain and another dream that I am working on but haven’t achieved. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have days where the frustrations of being where I no longer want to be override the enthusiasm of chasing a dream. Those are the days that I need to force myself to make bigger strides toward my dream, so that is why I am writing this at Midnight when I have to be up at 7:00 A.M. This is a part of my story that I want to share and probably therapeutic for me as well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I chased the dream and I am proud of my accomplishments. I learned a lot along the way that will help me in the future. I believe that this is just a part of the process that I must go through in order to become the best me possible. It’s a part of my journey in this thing called life. I have nothing in this life that I regret and I won’t start now. So for now, I will keep this “motel room” and remember what is was like to stay here. This way when I get to the next one, I will remember where I came from and what it took me to get here.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or Email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com

Losing To Win

I know that we have all been in those situations that it seems like no matter what we do, it's a losing battle. No matter where we look, it's a dead end. No matter what decisions that we try to make, they are wrong. It feels like the world is slowly closing in on us and that the situation is completely hopeless. I know that I have had many of these situations in my life and that I have felt exactly like this. It has seemed as though the only solution would be to just give up and quit.

So, I have done just that, quit. I gave up. The problem is, it didn't fix the problem and many times it made it worse. My Parents always said that I would have to learn everything the hard way and until I was in my mid 20's they were right. I finally figured out, the hard way, that quitting doesn't work. 

The same holds true for your dreams. Quitting doesn't work. When things get tough, and they will, keep moving forward. Even the smallest amount of pursuit is better then no pursuit. If you are moving forward towards your dream, you make it damn near impossible to go backwards.

I also believe that you have to be willing to lose the battle, at times, to win the war. You see, no matter how bad we can want something in life, the path that we have chosen, will get changed on us from time to time. You can try as you might to push yourself down a certain path towards your dreams, but that might not be the right path for you right now. Don't give up, change your tactics and perspective. Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome!!!

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!
Don't forget to find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com