I have had my share of bullies in my life. It always seemed like I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I was the short, fat kid in school. It seems like I had a different bully in every grade. For as long as I can remember, a low self esteem haunted me. But, the story I want to share with you today is about one bully specifically. This is a story that I have only shared with a few people but I feel that it's time to share with the world.
When I was about seven year old, a man came into my life that I looked up to as a Dad, even though he was never my Dad and he would be in my life until I was around fourteen. Since my real Dad had passed away when I was almost four, he was filling a void in my life. We did what came naturally in that situation, we played catch, he taught me some basic carpentry, taught me how to ride a motorcycle, went on some vacations together, and he supported me in any sport that I wanted to try. We really established a close bond and I even became really close to his two sons. It was sort of like a family that I never had. Things went really well for a few years. During the last couple of years of the relationship, things started to change between us. I was still pretty young and I don't know what caused this to happen, but what was once a loving relationship because verbally abusive. He began to tell me that I was stupid and I would never amount to anything. Those word cut like a knife in my young heart and left an open wound that would take me years to heal from. I carried those words in my heart and soul well into my early thirties.
As I grew up, I developed a hatred for this man and how he treated me. When I was in my early twenties, I decided that his opinion of me would didn't have to become my reality. I decided that I would prove him wrong and make something of myself. I worked hard and at the age of twenty-two became a store manager for the first time. I have spent about twenty years in retail now and fourteen of them I have either been and Assistant Manager of Store Manager. Not to bad for someone who was stupid and would never amount to anything. I made the decision and put the work in to prove him wrong. So, I guess, in a way, I owe him a thanks of sorts,because his hurtful words became my driving force to be great at what I do.
I had proved him wrong, but I was still bitter and carried a hatred around for him. It wasn't until I had a chance encounter with him about five years ago that was able to finally forgive him for what he did. We were in a public place, so decking him wasn't an option, even though I had thought about it many times. The person that I happen to be talking to at the time knew him and shook his outstretched hand when he said hi. He then turned to me, with the same outstretched hand and said hi. I kept my arms crossed and acknowledged his presence. For me that was a turning point, I knew that I had finally moved past my hatred for him and had forgiven him. I actually kind of pity him, because I have things in my life now that has has always longed for. I have and amazing relationship with my wife, kids, and grand-kids.
Just remember, that someones opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality; the sweetest revenge is massive success; and your can never truly move on until you forgive.
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