You Can Run and Hide

In my early twenties, I figure out what my passion is in life. I realized that I enjoyed helping people. I remember kids coming to me in junior high, telling me their problems and asking for advice. I always got a special sense of happiness from helping them out. Sure, being that young, I only had a certain amount of life experience, but I used what I had. I've also been able to learn from others' life experiences and share that information as well. Helping others was something that I never had to go look for, they always seemed to find me. Age never seemed to be an issue either, I talked with people from all ages. It always made me feel a little extra special, when those with a lot more life experience than me, come to me for advice.

Even though I knew what my passion was in life, I never actually took the steps to pursue it. It seems like, every time that thought about pursuing it, something was in my way. I would run and hide behind whatever that thing was. It was money issues, a job, or lack of opportunities. I would allow these things to stop me from pursuing my passion as a full-time career. I would run to what was convenient or hide behind the obstacles that I saw. Pursuing your passion will take work, but it's worth it.

As much as I tried to run and hide, my passion never left me. It was always there, waiting to remind you that it hasn't left. Maybe I heard a story that reminded me of what I wanted to do, or saw a TV program about someone doing the very thing that you want to do. Our passion isn't there by mistake, I believe that you are born with it. We have a destiny in life and it is tied to your passion. Running and hiding from it only causes you to delay the happiness that you were destined to have.Your real destiny is within you and it wants to be pursued. 

Almost two years ago, I decided that I owed it to myself to finally pursue my passion in life. I have put a lot of work into it and have made some great strides. I know that I still have a long way to go, but every step that I have taken has been more than worth it. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this will one day become my full-time career. My life has changed so much and I'm not looking back. Helping others IS my passion and I will pursue it until the day I die. Today my career as a Motivational Speaker and Life Coach is underway and it will be my legacy.

Don't allow another day pass without taking a step toward pursuing your passion in life. You owe it to yourself, your family, your friends, and the world. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Have You Ever Lead A Horse To Water?

We have all heard the saying that, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." It means that you can share with someone, information, technique, or even a belief, but you can't force them to apply that knowledge. We all have been bombarded with information all of our lives. It begins the moment that we are born and doesn't end until our passing. We are living in what they are calling "The Information Age." We have access to more information than ever before on this planet. If you want to know something, it is pretty much at your fingertips. 

With all of this access, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Who and or what do we believe. What photos have been edited, what articles are biased, what is our government hiding? It is easy to get lost in all of this. It's easy to lose our focus and get steered in the wrong direction from where we started. Trust your heart and intuition. I would encourage everyone to never stop learning. For me personally, much of my enlightenment has come from reading. Knowledge is the light that illuminates our soul. When our soul is illuminated, our dreams and passion begin to burn. When that happens, we begin to see our life in a whole new way. What we once saw as impossible, we now see as possible. 

Now comes the hard part, making the horse drink. You have equipped yourself with this knowledge, but you now have to act on it. It may be religious knowledge, career knowledge, school knowledge, or even life knowledge, but all of it is useless if it's not applied. No one can make you apply yourself. Only you have that can do that. You have to make yourself. Calvin Coolidge said:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

 

 Take your knowledge and press on toward your dreams and goals. Use it to create the life that you dare to aspire to live. You are worthy of your dreams, you deserve to live them, and you deserve your best. Change your life and your life will change. Do it long enough, and watch the lives of those around you begin to change as well. Impact your life and you can impact the world.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Title Does Not Make A Leader

Years ago, my Mom used to say, "My job title and fifty cents could buy her a cup of coffee." The price of a cup of coffee has went way up since then, but the truth remains. A title is just a title. I've always told me employees that, "The only difference between me and them, is that when the poo rolls down hill, it just hits me first."

I have know for years, that I am only as good as my employees. It is ultimately my responsibility to make sure that I have the right people in the right place at the right time, but I am still dependent upon their drive and desire to do a good job. I have been very blessed to work with some great people in my life. People who were committed to their job, their quality of work, and their desire to be better. I have even had employees want to follow me when I transferred to another store, or even quit the company to follow me to a new company. Leadership has many facets to it, but here are just a few, of what I believe to be, core principles:

1) Be the Example

2) Be Empathetic

3) Give Credit Where It's Due

4) Respect is Earned

I have never been to good to do anything that I would ask an employee to do. I have cleaned bathrooms, swept floors, cashiered, stocked, and worked nights, weekends, and holidays. I have tried to set the example of what I expect from my employees. I try to be empathetic to their wants and needs, but I remind them that I still have a store to run. When my bosses have come around, I never take credit for a project that I didn't do and I will take the blame if something is wrong because I allowed it. I never pass the blame onto someone else. Having a title should carry a certain amount of respect, but that can be lost if you are not a good leader, and the rest should be earned.

I have got to where I am today, because of my employees. Yes, it took my drive, desire, and applying the skills/knowledge that I have learned, but I still owe a lot to all those who have worked for me. Remember a title is just a title if you don't respect your position. 

As the leader of you life, you can also follow these core principles: Be the example, Be empathetic, Give credit where it is due, and earn your respect from others. Surround yourself with the right people, to have in the right place, at the right time for when you need them. You are not using people, because you should be that person in their lives as well.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

It's About What We Left

Father's Day is tomorrow and I wanted to share what Father's Day means to me. Being a Dad is something that I have always wanted to be. Many little boys dream of become a firefighter, a policeman, a doctor, and many other things. Sure I had those dreams to, but it was always preceded by being a Dad. In 1992 I got that opportunity, my daughter was born and it was the happiest day of my life. I became a Dad again in 2003, when my son was born. My children mean the world to me. I love being a Dad. Sure, it's one of the hardest jobs in the world, but it's rewards are immeasurable. As my children have grown up, I have had to watch them fall, but physically and figuratively, but that it a part of the job. I have always tried to be there for them when they have needed me. 

My Dad died when I was almost 3 and I have no memories of him, only photos and story that people have shared with me. But, the stories that have been shared with me, have helped me realize that even though he was taken from me at an early age, he left a legacy that has lived on through the years. My Mom says that I am very much like my Dad. People who knew my Dad, say the same thing. I have heard so many wonderful stories about my Dad. How caring he was, his work ethic, and his family values. What he has left behind is a life that touched many people. I know that my Dad would be proud of me. 

When I was 15, my Mom got remarried and my step-Dad entered my life. Needless to say, I was not always the role model kids. I had temper issues and was a very typical rebellious teenager. My parents had their hands full. But my step-Dad has always been there for me and has always supported me. He never gave up on me becoming a responsible adult. Thank you for your love and support.

In 2005 I too became a step-Dad. I have tried my best to follow the great example that my step-Dad was to me. Even though we are not as close as I would like to be, I know that she knows I am always there for her. I love being a step-Dad too.

It's not what we leave for our children, it's what we leave in them. I hope that when I am gone, my children can look back, with a smile on their faces and in their hearts, at the legacy that I have left for them. Be the role model in your kids' life. Even if you have stumbled in the past, you can begin to create that legacy today.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Mirror Image

I recently posted on facebook, "The reflection that we see in the mirror is merely a reflection of our past choices, not a view of our future." The topic of what we see in the mirror has stuck with me for a couple of days now. I keep running it through my mind and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. 

Who and what we are today are results of the choices that we have made in the past. When you look in the mirror, you might see an overweight person, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a failure as a spouse or parent, or something else. The point is, you see that because that is what you have created. Now, you can blame your present situation on anything you want. You can say that is was because I was raise in the projects, my Mom didn't love me, my Dad abandoned me, I was bullied in school, I was molested, I was abused, or what ever else might have happened to you. All these things that have happened to you, is not who you are. You are a product of how you decided to react to these situations. Stop playing the blame game and having pity parties for you past. The only reason that it is holding you back is because you are still carrying that baggage. The only reason that you are not where you want to be in life is because you are allowing your past to dictate your future. You are allowing the image that you see in the mirror to become your reality.

Where you have been in life, what you have done, and what has happened to you, has nothing to do with where you can be in life. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that your past has nothing to do with your future, because it does. You have a choice to make, will your past make you or break you? You can allow it to continue to prevent you from accomplishing your greatness or you can use it as a tool and motivation to accomplishing your greatness. 

I allowed that imagine in the mirror to control my life for years. All I saw was that "short, fat kid", the kids that was told, "your dumb and will never amount to anything." Yes, my Father died when I was 3, yes, my brother died when I was 2, yes, I was abused as a kid, yes, I was bullied in school, and yes, I failed with my first marriage. I could have used any one of these things to just give up and chose to live less then what I was capable of. But I knew that I had more in me. I knew that I could accomplish something more than mediocrity. I had heart to move on. No it didn't happen over night, some of my image problems carried into my thirties. I was not going to allow my past to create my future. Sure, if I would have dealt with some of these issues sooner, my life might be different. But the point is, I never gave up.


So the next time that you look in the mirror, realize that you are staring face to face with your greatness. 


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Kids On A Leash

Now, I'm not talking about the things that you strap to your child so that they don't wander to far when you are at the zoo, amusement park, and shopping malls. I have seen these devices and personally I find them funny. I never had a use for them for my kids but I can see their value. Maybe they should make them with a bungee cord, now that could be entertainment.

My parents, ex in-laws, and current in-laws have all told me that I am or have been too strict on my kids. My daughter(from a previous marriage) is now 20, and my son(from my current marriage) is 9. I'm sure, that from their views, I have been too strict on my kids. I have high standards on how I think that my kids should act. Do I expect perfection, no. But I do expect them to act right. I never heard a complaint from any of them about one of my kids acting up whenever they had them. Many times, I would hear stories about how strangers complimented them on how well their grand kids behaved where ever they might have taken them.

Here is what has worked for me. I believe that when kids are small, you have to keep the leash on them tight and close to you. Be firm, set the standards that you expect, and stick to it. My kids have had things taken away from them, ground for weeks on end, and yes, I believe in a firm swat on the rear is occasionally needed. Children need to learn and understand early on that there are rules and guidelines that have to be followed in life and especially in public. My kids get to go to the toy aisle, after I am done shopping, if we didn't have any problems. I believe in rewarding good behavior, not just punishing the bad. I've always told my kids how I appreciate how good they were in a given situation. I've always scorned the action but never the child. Our kids aren't bad, but their actions, sometimes are.  

As my children have began to grow up and they start wanting to have some freedoms, like playing at the neighbors house, going on a bike ride with friends, driving, dating, and so on, I have been confident that they know my rules and because I have kept the leash tight, I have some to give. It's an understanding that I can and will quickly pull that leash back if they get out of line. The more that they show they can handle the more that I can let go of the leash.

Too many times, I have seen parents struggling with teens that they allowed to just run as kids. If you give all the slack out when they are toddlers and young children, I believe that it is next to impossible to reign that leash back in when they are teens. We, as parents, have a responsibility to our children. We need to raise them to be upstanding members of society. They need to understand and have respect for rules and others. I am confident that I could let my kids go alone into a store, restaurant, or any other public place and they wouldn't act a fool. Their age, yes, but not act up. I love my children, but they know that Dad will be stern when they get out of line. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

The Mosaic of Life

I'm not really the artist type. Matter of fact, I often tell people, "I can't drawn a straight line with a ruler." My artistic skills pretty much stopped at coloring inside the lines. I can appreciate what other are capable of and I applaud their efforts. I have been to museums and I love to look at all of the wonderful paintings, sculptures, drawings, and the assorted works from such talented people.

Many of us have had things happen in our lives that we consider to be broken. Broken families, relationships, careers, marriages, and hearts. These things can have such lasting effects on our lives. They can cause us to distort our view of life. They can keep us from being truly happy in life. Worse yet, they can severely limit our possibilities of ever having a healthy relationship, marriage, or career again. We refuse to let go of the hurt, the grudges, the disappointments, and scares left behind. We carry around the baggage left behind by there things like they are a badge of honor. We love sharing these battle scars with whomever will listen. Looking for someone to justify our feelings and join our pity party. 

I believe that there is another option. Much like an artist, we can choose to make something beautiful out of the broken pieces. I am pretty sure that we have all seen what a mosaic is. It's where you take what looks like a bunch of broken pieces, glue or concrete them together, to make a new and more beautiful picture than before. The colors are more arrayed, the pieces are now where you want them instead of how others have placed them. When we take charge of our lives, and begin to place the pieces where we want them, then and only then are we truly the artists of our own lives. We have to choose to make something beautiful out of the the pieces that we have. Sure it's not always easy. It will take some time and some glue, but the end result is worth it. The glue is the things that are right in our life. The people, career, dreams, and passions that drive us to be at our best. Find the glue in your life and begin to build your life mosaic.

I have had my share of things broken in my life, but I had to come to the point in my life where I decided that making something beautiful was more important than finding the next guest to attend my pity party. Pick up the pieces and make a new life and create a beautiful mosaic with those pieces. Those pieces should remind you of the good times and what can be done differently this time. I have learned so much from my past and I have created the beautiful life that I now live. I know that it will only get better, as long as I stay committed to creating beauty from the pieces.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big