Results Or The Lack Of

"Don't attach your happiness to results and don't attach your unhappiness to the lack of results." -Dan Clark

Okay, so I'm not sure how this post is going to go but I really feel that I need to share this. The above quote is something that come to me yesterday as I was talking to my very good friend, Michael. Michael and I have a very cool friendship and he has an amazing soul. He and I share so many of the same beliefs about out journey here on Earth. Thank you, Michael for being that catalyst to my epiphany from the universe.

Most of us know that our happiness doesn't dwell in the acquisition of things. We will never truly be happy by a bigger house, newer car, younger spouse, richer spouse, new job, and so on. These things can give us a false sense of happiness but it quickly fades and we are back where we started. The only way we can truly be happy is to learn to be happy with ourselves. We need to be the reason for our happiness. I think that I have shared this before but, people look at me weird when I tell them that my wife doesn't make me happy. I make me happy. My happiness is all on my shoulders. My responsibility. The people and things in my life can only make me happier. My wife makes me happier. This is something that I really learned and began living a year or so ago and my life really changed.  Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of "When I get this then I will be happy" or "When this happens I will be happy." It is a very slippery slope that will cause you a lot of misery. We know about "Being the change that we want to see in the world", well, be the happiness that you wish to see in the world. And it starts and ends with you.

I realized, when I was talking with Michael yesterday about the "slump" that I have been in, that I had been attaching my unhappiness to the lack of results without even realizing it. Sure, I would have rather not went through what I went through but I am thankful for the lesson. I was getting depressed because I wasn't seeing certain results show up in my life. I was asking, "Why isn't this happening for me?" and "Where is my opportunity?". This had become very toxic in my life without me even realizing that I was doing it. I had allowed the lack of results to create unhappiness in my spirit. I kept looking outside of me for answers when the real answers are already within me. As toxic as attaching your happiness to things outside of you, attaching my unhappiness to the lack of results was slowing killing me inside. So, like happiness beginning and ending with you, so does your unhappiness.

I can honestly say that the past couple of weeks have been some of the toughest I have faced in some time spiritually. Now that I am aware of what was happening, I can fix it and move on. I am pretty excited to see where this new epiphany will take me. This "slump" is now behind me and it's time to move forward once again. It's time to once again shine. If this or that doesn't happen, it will not change my out look or happiness level. The bar has once again been raised and I am stronger because of this storm. Turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Lieutenant Dan and the Storm

The link below is to the scene from Forest Gump when Lt. Dan rides out the storm from the mast of the shrimp boat. Not sure why I have been having problem adding a video to my posts. But click on it anyway. :)

http://youtu.be/8ZH9ebAZouk


"Sometimes you just have to wait until the storm passes. Action is not required, only standing strong as the winds howl, the thunder cracks, the lightening strikes, and the down pours of rain. It wasn't a storm of proving what you can accomplish but rather a test of will. Can you be faithful with what you have been given before you are blessed with more? Bring on the rainbow and clearer skies. Life is about feeling blessed through it all."

The above statement is what I post in facebook on September 12th. I wish I could explain what has been going on in my mind. I am feeling fine physically, mentally, and spiritually, but I'm not sure what is going on emotionally. I just can't seem to shake this slump that I have been in. I have taken time for myself, read motivational books, listen to positive music/speeches, and even watched transformational videos, but nothing is working. I am beginning to wonder if I have sent the wrong message to my ego. Now when I say ego, I am talking about the part of us that is of flesh and blood not that part of us that is spirit. Maybe there is some confusion on my ego's part, but I'm not going any where. I was born with the gift to reach people and for me to go back to denying it, is just not going to happen. I have said time and time again that I would speak and coach if I never got paid because it is a part of who I am. I do it because denying it is leading a life less lived. Been there, done that, and I prefer my life with it in my life a lot more than I do without it. That is how I know that it is what I am supposed to do. You call it a hobby, a dream, a "thing" I do, or what ever you want, the point is, it is a part of who I am. You wouldn't just cut off your pinky toes because you think they are useless, they are a part of you. You keep them because they are a part of who you are, they are a part of your identity. 

I know that through this storm in my life, that maybe the most important things that I can do is just stand strong. When we act out of desperation, we are reacting according to out desire to be liked and accepted by others. I want to act because it is the right thing to do. If that means that inactivity is what is right, for the moment, then so be it. I have tied myself to the mast of this ship of speaking and coaching during this storm and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that once this storm is over, I will come out of it still attached to this mast. I may have some battle scars but the scars will be there to remind me that I fought an won. Not out of stubbornness but out of commitment and desire to not quit. I have been a quitter before and I have the bad taste that it leaves. The taste of success is worth whatever I may have to go through. 

I will continue to be faithful with what I have been given up to this point. I will not turn tail and run. I now understand that my legacy is at stake. My identity and reputation will not be tarnish because I chose to give up. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

 

Breadcrumbs

Wow, it's hard to believe that it has been two weeks since my last blog post. I have had a lot of ups and downs the past couple of weeks. The good news is, my downs aren't near as low as they used to be a couple of years ago. This blog is going to be a continuation of sorts since my last post. I am still in kid of a funk. My mind has been really been playing with my emotions. I feel like a tree just trying to weather the storm. Just in case the doubt that has any questions, I'm not going anywhere. I know that my choice to pursue my passion to speak is what is right for me. This doubt that keeps on crashing in has had me in a place that I really don't like. I know that fighting it, only gives it more attention. I have chosen to acknowledge it's presence and just stand strong like that tree in a storm. This tree will bend, might lose some leaves, maybe even a limb or two, but when this storm passes, I WILL BE STRONGER. I refuse to give in to this doubt. 

So back on September 4, 2013, I posted this on facebook:

Just because you are feeling down, doesn't mean you shut down.When you shut down, you are not receptive to what the universe is telling you. When things are going rough, the universe will drop you a bread crumb to remind you to not to give up and that you are on the right path. Thank you universe for that today.

This post was the day after I had a really tough day internally. The responses that I received, both publicly and in private, from this post confirmed my resolve to stand strong. The universe has tossed me a breadcrumb earlier that day to remind me that my message is needed. A friend of mine told me that she had not forgotten about me and was still planning on having me speak for her organization. I really needed to hear those words that day and the universe knew that I needed it. I am truly grateful for everything in my life, both past and present. My impatience is probably fuel for some of these doubts. Impatience has been something that I have battled with my whole life. 

You might be wondering why, once again, I am sharing what seems like a less than motivational post. One thing that I have tried to pride myself in is that I am an authentic person. I'm not going to hide behind a mask that isn't true to me. I have nothing to gain from being fake, but everything to gain by being authentic with all of you. Even as a person who always seems positive, I have my times of struggle and I'm not afraid to share them with you. If this post does have a message within it, it's this:

Stand strong within the storm. Use this time to come out of the storm better and stronger than before. Be aware when a breadcrumb is thrown your way from the universe. It will let you know when you are on the right path.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Frustrations and Fears

Sometimes, I feel the need to share something personal. This happens to be one of those moments. The last couple of days, I have been feeling a little off. I know that I am not in the correct mental state that I should be in. I get in the kind of funk from time to time. I'm not sure what triggers it, but I know that it doesn't last. We all have struggles that present themselves from time to time. Some tougher than others. I'm not afraid nor intimidated by what life throws at me. Do I like this feeling, no, but I know that I am bigger than this funk that I am in.I understand that my frustrations come from within me. I am impatience, I don't think that things are happening as fast as I want them to. I have moments when I feel like I am not progressing like I should be in my speaking and coaching career. Every time that I have thought that I have made connections that you help me down that path, they have all ended up as a dead in, so far. I know that I cannot place my success on the coattails of others. I'm not asking for a hand out, I am looking for a hand up. The old saying goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I feel like this student is ready, where is the teacher. I need to know what the next step should be. I can only read so many books, which I don't mind doing, but there is a point where I need hands-on experience. Sure, I have created those opportunities, but when will doors open for me, instead of me creating those doors and opening them? I also get frustrated with people. I know that I can't control them, I can only control my actions and emotions. I have has people say that they support me and yet their actions say otherwise. I know that I am suppose to concentrate on what I love and not what loves me, but my ego sometimes gets the better part of me. It's not that I am giving up. Since I began this journey of personal development, almost four years ago, I have lived a better life than I ever have. More happiness, love, joy, and contentment that I have ever had. I love my life and wouldn't change where I am right now for anything else. I know that things can only get better from here. So you might be asking yourself why would I post what seems like a depressing blog, but I believe that sometimes we need to be real about our emotions. I'm not lashing out at anyone or any thing. I am merely coming face to face with my fears and frustrations. I have done this before and it usually is a very cleansing experience. Being transparent with ourselves will help us dealt with so many issues. I went to a conference back in July and they talked about sharing your feelings with an empty chair. Sounds weird, but try it some time. When we are transparent with ourselves, it is easier to be transparent with others and that is so key in being authentic in a world of fake people. The world is hungry for authentic truth and it begins with individuals. As I continue my journey, I will probably have more moments like this, but I will persevere. I refuse to go back to a life of mediocrity, allowing outside forces determine how I should. I refuse to go back to living my life by default. I will traverse each and every mountain put in my way, and find my way to the top and enjoy every step of the way. The view from the top may be spectacular, but there are still flowers, streams, and beauty along the way. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Fundamental Answers To Fundamental Questions

Have you ever had an inspired thought? Have you ever did something that gave you a sense of happiness unlike anything you have ever done and you get that feeling every time that you have done it since? Is there something that when you thing about it, just puts a smile on your face? How about something that you can talk about for hours with a complete stranger because you are so passionate about it? Would you do that thing for the rest of your life, even if you never got paid to do it, just because you enjoy it so much? What ever that thing is, is probably what you were put on this earth to do. That thing is most likely your true calling. Many of us have allowed life to get in the way and not pursuing our true calling. I'm not saying that you are wrong for doing that, I too have fell into that trap. I ignored what I loved doing for that sake of "making end meet", "doing the responsible thing", or what ever was convenient at the time. Until about three years ago, I had lost myself in a life of conformity and ignoring what really makes me intrinsically happy. I have come to realize that there are options in this life. Here is something that I realized during my meditation last night and I thought that I would share it with you. When you figure out what it is that you really desire to do in life because of the happiness that it bring to you and others, I am going to answer the six most important questions about that thing for you. So here it goes:

WHO? So this is the most obvious answer, it's you. It is up to you to make you happy. It is up to you to create the life that you have imagined. It's up to you put make the changes to change your life. It's up to you to put in the work. Sure, you will need some help along the way, don't worry about that, it will take care of it's self when the time is right.

WHAT? Define exactly what it is that you want to accomplish. It doesn't mean that things won't change along the way, but you have to have a starting point. Very few people build a house with blue-prints that they have approved and don't make changes along the way. Your passion will be the same. But, just get your starting reference point.

WHEN? Now! There is no better to begin your journey than today. No one said that you had to complete your journey today, but you must begin today. Even baby steps are a greater distance closer than doing nothing. Your baby steps today, compound in their effect in the future if you just stay on that path.

WHERE? There is no magical place to start. It is never too early or too late in life. Your passion has no geographical preference. People have began their journey from all over the world and still achieved greatness. Big city, country town, East coast, West coast, it makes no difference. Just begin from where you are right now.

WHY?  Don't you want to be happy? I'm not talking about for an hour, a day, or a week, I'm talking about a lifetime full of happiness. It's been said, that one of the greatest ways to combat depression is to be inspired. Your passion inspires and excites you. So maybe the better question is, why not? There is no downside to living up to the potential that you were put on this earth to fulfill.

HOW? I used to get so caught up on this one. It probably has to do with the fact that I am such an analytical thinker. I am always thinking of how I will accomplish a task(manager mode). I have come to realize that it really isn't any of my business how this will happen. I was given a passion and my only responsibility to it is to use it. When I let go of worrying about the how, life became so much easier and doors that I would have never even thought of have opened to me. But, I have to let go of the control factor.

In closing, I just want to let you know that I believe in you. I have seem some amazing transformations in people who started being authentic to their calling in life. Stop allowing fear freeze you in your tracks and keep you stuck in less then you were designed to be.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Don't Work Too Hard?

I don't know if it's just a Midwest thing or not but many people use the phrase, "Don't work too hard" as a part of their goodbye. I have probably even used this phrase, but as of late it has stuck a chord with me. Are people telling me to not work so hard that I kill myself or just to literally not work too hard? If they are telling me not work so hard that I injury or kill myself, thanks for the reminder. I don't think that I exude that kind of effort. I have been told that I make my job look easy. I credit that to the fact that I have been in retail for almost 24 years and all but 6 years of that in management. So if people are literally telling me, "Don't work too hard", my questions for them would then be, "Why not."  This is my life and no one is going to create the kind of life that I want to live. It my responsibility to work my ass off in my life. This world doesn't owe me anything, I owe me my best. That means, that if I don't do the work, the world will not hand me the life that I desire. Only I can determine what I want my life to look like or how I want it to feel. I understand that I will stumble and fall, but that will make me appreciate it more. Other people will hurt me along the way, but this will teach me forgiveness. Things will not happen as soon as I want, this will teach me patience. Things will happen that I didn't expect, this will teach me wisdom. Because of all of this, I will become who I was created to be, but only if I "work too hard." I believe in applying blood, sweat, and tears into my life. Because of this, I will be stronger. I will learn to adapt, improvise, and overcome any situation to become my very best. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, "If it's to be, it's up to me." I can't go back and change what has been done, but today I can make the changes to create a new ending. If things haven't been going the way you intended, dare to take the control of your life back from anything or anyone that you have been allowing to control your life. You will not achieve you best by default, you must "work too hard." Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Work, work, and then work some more. Begin today!

Check out the song Unity by Shinedown before you go. I put the link at the bottom but I don't know if it will work. I believe that the song was written about a lost love, but what if that lost love was your authentic you. The you that you have been dreaming of being? 

http://youtu.be/-Yq6upZ5DXo


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

It's Just An Apple

So let's just get this out of the way first. If have never ate a Pink Lady Apple, stop reading this blog, go buy one, come back to this blog, and finish reading this blog while enjoying your apple. Pink Lady apples are awesome.

"You can see the seeds in an apple, but you can't see the apples in a seed."

All to often, we get so caught up on only what we can see. We see only what the world has told us to see in ourselves. We shape our beliefs based upon what we were taught and by what society has told us to believe. Let's face it, we live in a very superficial world. It's all about the outward appearance. The clothes we wear, the house we live in, the car we drive, and the list goes on and on. We grow up in a world where we are told what to think and because of this reason, we put a lot of faith in what others tell us about us. However, deep down, we have always known that there is more to life. But for some reason, we drown out that inner voice because it doesn't line-up with what society would have us to believe about us. 

Guess what, you were born with that inner truth about you. It is a part of your DNA and spirit. Most of us have not even begun to live up to the life that we were destined to live because we have allowed outside forces to cram us into their box called "normal." What is inside of us is far greater than what we can ever imagine. Inside of us are seeds of greatness coated in potential. To many have gone to their death bed with potential still screaming to be released. What are we waiting for? The time will NEVER be perfect to begin by the standards of our programming. Begin now. I firmly believe in doing what you can, where you are, with what you have. Begin and the universe will begin helping you. After all, the universe gave you this greatness. It's just waiting for you to have some faith and begin.

What are we scared of? Are you afraid of failure? You will never accomplish anything in life worth achieving without some failures along the way. None of us walked perfectly the first time we tried and yet we kept at it, even though we continuously failed, until we got it right. Why should our perspective be any different towards what we know we should be doing? I would encourage you to take a good look inside of you. Not with the eyes in which society has tainted but with the eyes of clarity that you were born with. The kind of eyes that see the beauty in every moment in life. Don't be afraid to be completely honest with yourself. Just open yourself to any and all possibilities. Dare to see the potential of the seeds of greatness that are in you. Look past what you think is possible and begin to have faith in the impossible. Refuse to die with potential within you. After all, what do you have to lose?

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big