2012 again?

Even though the end of the 2012 calender is here, you may have the opportunity to repeat it. You have the chance to have many of the same struggles and triumphs in 2013 that you had in 2012. The same awards in your career, are possible in 2013. The same failed relationships are there to do all over again. You also have the opportunity to write down the same resolutions and keep or not keep them. You get a change at a do-over. What are you going to do with this opportunity? Are you going to live you life the same as you did in 2012? Do you want the same successes and failures or do you want something different? The choice is yours. It won't matter what 2013 has to throw at you...good or bad. It is all up to how you choose to respond to what destiny has in store for you. What do you want your 2013 to look like when it comes to an end? The decisions that you make today not just the resolutions that you will make for 2013 will begin to shape how your 2013 will look. Decide that you want to build on your successes, taking good to great. Decide that you are going to take a different path towards the struggles that you had in 2013. What you have been doing has got you to where you are and if you don't like what it has got you, time for a change. Be willing to try something new, even if you don't think it will work for you. Obviously what you have been doing hasn't been work so well either. The saying goes, "If you want to change some things in your life, you have to change some things in your life." Stop just complaining about how unfair life has been to you. Life is merely responding to how unfair you have been to it. Life is just responding to your thoughts and actions. As long as you keep feeding the negatives in your life, you will keep getting more of the same. No, I'm not an expert on your life, that would be you. But what I do have to offer is my personal experiences and those the things that I have been able to learn from what other people have been through. So my challenges to you are, when 2013 comes to an end, what will it have looked like because of your beliefs and actions? What will be different in 2013? And what are you willing to sacrifice to get what you deserve out of this life instead of what you have been settling for?

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Why Yes, It Does Revolve Around Me

The world really does revolve around me...sort of. Not in a literal sense but in a figurative sense. What kind of world do you want to live in? What is it that is missing from your world? We have the ability to control one thing in our world, ourselves. We cannot change nor control what others will do. We can be the kindest person and someone will treat us like dirt. We can be the most giving and someone will steal from us. We can be the most loving and someone will still hate us. I would still challenge you to be the kindest, most giving, and most loving person despite what others do or think. My world is what I choose to make of it based upon how I choose to perceive it. I'm not naive enough to believe that the world is all sugar, spice, and everything nice. I know that this world has it's fair share of less than desirable people and situations. I'm secure with this situation because I can choose who is in my circle of friends and I can see possibilities within in every problem. Over the past couple of years, my life has changed so dramatically. I credit to just a couple of things. One, how I decided to perceive myself and two, how I choose to perceive the world around me. These two simple practices have transformed the love in my life, my finances, my career, and my passion for life. I'm not where I want to be but I am a hell of a lot closer than I was when I decided to make a change. But I figured out that the simple principle of reaping what you sow is a life changing thing when you apply it consistently and persistently, This principle WILL transform your life. Not only reaping into your world but reaping in yourself.  Knowing the changes that you want to see in your life and being honest with yourself is the beginning. Don't fear what you cannot change and don't let it keep you from the life that you deserve. Concentrate on what you can do and go make it happen. Because I changed, my world changed and now revolves around me.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Faceless

As I walk the streets, I am merely a man without a face, a man that blends into a crowd, and  goes unnoticed. I have never really had the desire to be the center of attention. My name up in lights, my face on TV or on magazines, or being recognized by the masses is not on my list of things to do. I have a very simple goal, help others to help themselves. I cannot change people, they can only change themselves. I can be a light to them when they are in a dark place, be that helping hand when they have fallen, and I can cheer them on as they achieve their goals. I am okay with being in the background. I am okay with being "unknown" but don't get it twisted, my message will be heard. I may be faceless but I am definitely not voiceless. I will he heard and I will reach the masses. If you have been following since the beginning, I thank you. If you are just find my blog, I hope that you enjoy it and continue to follow me. This journey is just getting started. I have learned patients and I know that my work will not go unrewarded. The Universe will respond to the seeds that I have planted to help others. My time will come and opportunities will arrive because I refuse to give up. Refuse to give up on your own dreams and passion and your efforts will be rewarded. Take a step everyday toward the life that you want to live and toward to person that you want to be. See it clearly, work on you, and watch amazing things happen. Life is such an amazing blessing once you accept that you are in control of how you experience it. Surround yourself with people that build you up and rid yourself of those who are holding you back and keeping you from the happiness that you deserve. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Life Hoarders

I have seen a few episodes of the show Hoarders. I can relate how they can let their house get out of hand, it happened to me when I was going through a really rough time in my own life. I always find it interesting, the things that these people hang on to. Looking from the outside in, much of it doesn't make any sense to me. I understand that it is a serious psychological problem that these people have and they need the help that is being offered to them. These people have had some serious things happen to them in life and many times that is some of the biggest root causes of their hoarding. In my life, I have been guilty of hoarding as well. I have hoarded my struggles, my set backs, and those things that have happened to me that prevented me from moving on in life. I held on to growing up without a Dad, being verbally and physically abused by a man that was suppose to be my step-dad, my failure in not being further along in my career, and I'm sure that there has been more. I held on to these things like they were important in my life and let them define who I was becoming. In all actuality, I was hanging into these things and they were holding me back from who I really needed to be and the person that I was designed to be. The struggles that we experience in life are not meant to define us, but rather help create us. They are merely lesson to be learned to help us develop the person that we were designed to be. If you think that you were not designed to be great and to fulfill a purpose, you are sorely mistaken. We all have a destiny to fulfill and holding onto those things that hurt us, severely hinders this process. Let go and begin the process of moving forward. Begin to hoard those things in your life that add value to it. The times that you spend with loved ones, the accomplishments that you have made, and if nothing else, the fact that you have made it through all that you have. Take a moment and see what you are hoarding in your life. Are these things adding to your value or are they taking away from that value? Are these things a reason to become better or are they the reason you are stuck in a rut? Be honest with yourself when you answer these questions. Don't let yourself off the hook, but love yourself through the process.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

I'm NOT Dr. Phil?

I have been told that I look like a couple of different celebrities but Dr. Phil is not one of them. However, a few weeks ago, I was told that I sound like him. It's not the southern accent, but how he deals with some of the people on his show. Some of my family members watch The Dr. Phil Show on a fairly regular basis. I don't have the background that Dr. Phil does but I have coached several people to a better place in their life. I have also been able to learn from other people's challenges and transfer that information to my knowledge to help others. I don't expect to have the massive success the way that Dr. Phil has had but I do have a very similar desire and passion to help others. I find it interesting how some of my family members take in the information and advice that Dr. Phil gives. How they look at him as a place to help them resolve issues in their own lives. Now, I'm not disagreeing with them about the knowledge that Dr. Phil has. I think that Dr. Phil is very knowledgeable and I too appreciate how he handles many of his guests. Him and I share many of the same concepts and beliefs as to how to get results in moving from one place in our life to where we would like to be. What I find interesting is that they will listen to Dr. Phil but I can say the very same thing and I seem to get ignored. It can be a bit frustrating for me, but I think that I have figured out why this happens. Because I am so close to the situation, they expect me to just take their side. Sometimes they have wanted me to attend their "pity party." Just so you know, don't invite me to those kind of parties, because I have a tendancy to crash them. Family is not only guilty of this, but so have some of my friends. I know that they are looking for support but I'm the blunt and honest one. I don't fear the repercussion, because I always speak from my heart with their best interest in mind. I love my family and friends, but sometimes they get frustrated with me because my words hurt them. Only because it's not what they want to hear but need to hear. So to my family and friends, keep watching Dr. Phil and or keep asking me for my advice, just keep growing and changing to achieve the results that you want and deserve in your life.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

The Repeat Offender

We are all guilty of being repeat offenders. We have wronged the same person more than once. We have lied, broken the speed limit, and maybe even stolen more than once. Now some of these many seem trivial, our biggest crime are those that we commit upon ourselves. We repeatedly make the same mistakes when choosing a mate. We continually neglect our job and wonder why we are unhappy with it. We complain about not having any money and yet we waste what we do have. We keep shooting ourselves in the foot thinking that some how, this time it will be different. We tell ourselves that today we will choose happiness and yet we continually choose actions that take away from our happiness. We are hurting not only ourselves but those closest to us as well. We wonder why we seem to be stuck in a rut, it's because we keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. And that, my friends, is the definition of insanity. Why do we do thing? We want our lives to be different and yet we keep repeating the things that are holding us back. Change is tough, uncomfortable, and takes persistence. It's easy to do those things that we have always done. We start down the road to change and when time gets tough, we revert to what's comfortable. It's not just our actions that hold us back, but it's also our thought process. If you can change your perspectives and thoughts, you can change your life. You have to be patient with this process. It will take time and a lot of hard work. You didn't get into your current situation over night, you won't get out of it over night. Be patient with yourself, have confidence in yourself and plans, and execute. Stop the cycle of being a repeat offender. You owe it to yourself.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big.

My Political View...You Have Been Warned

With the elections just a few days away, we are all being inundated with all of these political facebook posts, junk mail ,telemarketers, and commercials. I thought that I would take a moment and express my personal views. In no way shape or form am I supporting any candidate or political party. I might even get "unfriended" because of what I am about to say.

It doesn't matter who you vote for, the system that we are nominating them into is broken. We have become a country that is being run by a government instead of a government being ran by the people. Until we fix the problem, the absolute power that our government has will continue to corrupt the majority that we vote in. There is no longer a system of checks and balances, but a system of payoff and kickbacks. Our government was first established to serve the people not to take advantage of them. Until we, as a nation, rise up and take back that power that we have allowed the government to take from us, we will never be that great nation that we once were. Now don't get me wrong, I love America and I am proud to be an American. But we have become complacent in our ways. Our freedoms are slowly and quietly being taken from us as we turn a blind eye and let it happen. 

I am, by no means, a political or historical scholar. But this is how I see it. How do we fix it? I don't have an exact plan, but something has to be done. I think that we should start with a six year term with no chance of reelection. Once your term is over, you have six months of unemployment to find a new job them you are back to the working class like the rest of us. No more life time benefits. Having to go back into the working class might change your mind about some of the legislation you have to vote on. With a candidate only being in office for six years, I think that it would limit some of the P.A.C. money because they know that that person can only help them for so long. Also, do we really need the electoral college anymore? We have the technology to cast votes for an American Idol, we should be able to come up with a winner with just a popular vote. 

Okay, so I got that off my chest. I'm not telling you who to or not to vote for. I still believe that if you don't vote you have no right to complain about who gets elected. It's time for us to take a stand as a nation of people and stop allowing the politicians to run our lives. We are still the voice and heartbeat of this great nation that we live in. Be heard and let them know that the country's life blood still run through us.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Let Me Tickle Your Ear

You are okay. There is nothing about you that you need to change. It's okay that you spend your money on partying every weekend. It's okay that spending time with your friends instead of your spouse and kids. It's fine that you invest your time with TV instead of investing in yourself. You don't need to read and educate yourself, you already have all the answers. Just keep doing what you have been doing, there is no room for improvement. The people that you have surrounded yourself with will be there for you when you most need them. I think that I have covered most of the bases. I have told you everything that would tickle you ear and keep you where you are in life. After all, it's where you want to be right? Everything is just fine, right? Stop allowing yourself these excuses and stop allowing others to support these excuses. If the people in your life are enabling your poor behavior, find new friends. If you are justifying your actions, STOP. You will never live the life that you desire and deserve until you stop playing these games. Invest discretionary money and time on bettering yourself. Books, seminars, lectures, and so forth. I'm not saying that you can't go out and occasionally have some fun. Gut we have to learn the difference between and investment and an expenditure. Time at the club...an expenditure. Time with your loved ones(not at a bar)....an investment. Investments, most of the time, take time to see the return. As much as we like to think we do, we don't have all the answers. The answers to some of the most important questions that we have in life are outside of ourselves. Others have gone before us and have left hints to where we should be in our life. I may never be a world renowned speaker and coach, but what I will be is true to myself and truthful with you. I will never sugar coat my words and message. I believe that the truth will set you free, but that truth comes at a cost. That cost is your comfort, your vision of you current self, and maybe even your self integrity. Stop allowing yourself and others to keep you from your greatness. Be bold enough to move past where you are in life and start down a path that will lead you to the person that you wholeheartedly want and deserve to be. It's your life, are you going to make excuses or are you going to make changes? Live your greatness.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!

Leadership...My Way

It has been asked of me, "Why is it you have such a low turn over of employees?" It was also recently said that, "I make managing look easy." I didn't have an answer to the question, nor did I have a response to the statement. I have never thought that I was great at what I do, however, if I based my results solely on numbers, like most corporate people do, I have been pretty successful. They say that numbers don't lie. I have just done my thing and let numbers fall where they may. I know that the numbers that I have produced is what those on the corporate ladder ahead of me see, but I don't manage number. I see myself as a leader of people not numbers. I think that sometimes people complicate leadership. I have been in a leadership position, by title, all but six years of my twenty-one years in retail. My vision of a leader has been to be the kind of employee that I would want to work for me. When I am that person, I am giving the employees the example that I want them to follow. Corporations want employees to buy into their vision statement. I don't think that the average employee cares about it. They care about what is happening within their particular four walls. How is what they are doing going to change their current situation? Most feel like they are not connected to much beyond their direct leader. People want to feel like they are apart of something bigger than their particular job, so, how can they contribute? It is the responsibility of the leader to make that happen. I would rather hire someone with desire than all the knowledge. If they have a desire to make an impact, they can be taught. It is much harder to re-educate and damn near impossible to create a desire that they don't have. Leaders are to be the example. I believe that people will buy into people before they will buy into a vision statement. I have seen vision statement come and go, but people have they ability to make a lasting impression in a way that words never will. Leadership is about confidence and creating the confidence that others need to have in you. People follow people that are leaders. If you are merely spewing guidelines and corporate rhetoric you are not a leader. Your are a corporate puppet. A leader understands people, believes in others, and makes others a part of the process. I have had the opportunity to help develop others beyond where they were and beyond where they thought they could be. People are drawn towards words but commit to people. Every time that I have left a store or company, multiple people have said that they wished I would stay or they cold come with me. It's not because of what I have said, it's because what I have done and how I made them feel. Be the leader that you would follow.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Stop Using Band-Aids

I am as guilty as the next person in this epidemic. So, the finger that I am pointing is as much pointed at me me as it is the next person. But if you feel that I am pointing it directly at you, maybe it's time for a reality check. It has been said that we are the microwave generation. That we want what we want and we want it now. Maybe I have helped feed this need. I daily write motivational quotes on my facebook page in the hope to inspire others, motivate others, and hopefully be a light in what can be a dark world for some. The problem I have seen is that, it is only a band-aid. All I can do is try to help someone get through their day or maybe just that next hour of their day. However, I cannot fix the deep rooted problems that people are dealing with. That is entirely up to them. Stop allowing yourself the crutch of, "I'm just going to get through today." We all have the ability to do more, be more, and live a more abundant life. We don't have to settle for the life that is being handed to us. We have the choice to make it an incredible journey full of happiness, love, passion, and joy. We have to stop acting as though we are okay because we made it through another day. Stop kidding yourself and deal with the real issues. What is causing you to feel like your life is spinning out of control? What in your life is causing you misery? What are those triggers that make you feel depressed? The band-aid of covering today up with some laughter, love, or motivation, will not fix the problem. Grow up and deal with the root causes of your issues in life. Your friends, family, or coworkers cannot fix it. Only you can do that. Grow up, grow a pair, work on the issues, and stop lying to yourself that you are "Okay." We all have inner "demons" that we struggle with and like it or not, your quality of life depends on your willingness to confront them. Simply acknowledging them, talking about them, or even covering them up will only prolong the agony that you feel inside. 

We live in a time that knowledge is at your fingertips. There is no excuse for not exploring your options for improving your quality of life. Almost two years ago, I had to stop allowing myself to make excuses and delve deep within me and get to the root of my issues. Have I completed the journey. By now means am I where I want to be, but I am a hell of a lot closer than I was. What's your excuse? No time? No money? Don't know where to start? All of those excuses can be all summed up into one word. Laziness. If you are reading this, you obviously have access to a computer and there is so much information available to you. Find you local library and read books. I didn't know where to start either, but I knew that if I just started somewhere, the universe would direct my path. I wasn't wrong. Begin today, trade those handy band-aids for action. What do you have to lose? What you have been doing, obviously hasn't been working. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big.

Dollars Don't Create Desire

Some will say,"When I get the money, then I can pursue my dreams." Some will say, "If I lived in ______(fill in the blank), then I would be successful." The reasons for not being successful are endless. We continually justify our lack actions toward our dreams.  I understand and get why we haven't done more to achieve our dreams. The bottom line is, it's fear that stops us cold in our tracks. We fear the lack of money, not living in the right place, or not having the right education. 

Truth be told, people with less money, in worse living conditions, and with less education have pursued and accomplished their goals and dreams. Whatever excuse you can come up with, someone has already crushed that excused with persistence and determination. Persistence and determination will conquer all your fears. It's not about becoming an overnight success, it's about taking those small consistent daily steps. 

Every time that I have stagnated in the pursuit of my dreams and passion, has been when I stopped doing those little daily things that I know I should be doing. I stopped my daily reading, my daily affirmations, and daily believing in myself, which lead to me questioning if I should just give up. I don't like the feeling of possibly giving up. I refuse to give up and it's time to fight back. Watch out, here I come dreams and passions.

Dollar don't create desire, but desire can create dollars. Don't get it twisted.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

1 Corinthians 13...It's Not Just For Weddings

Most of us have probably been to a wedding where 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NIV) has been presented in some shape or form. Here it is, to help refresh your memory:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
This scripture is usually used to help describe the kind of love that should be shared between a couple during marriage. I will take it one step further and say that it should be used in all of our relationships. Now, I, by no means am a bible scholar, but I think that it gives us a great foundation for the kind of love that we should have in our lives for others.

I would like to take a different look at this scripture and apply it to another love that is many times overlooked or even missing in our lives. That love would be, the love that we should have for ourselves.
Love is patient.
     Are you patient with yourself?
Love is kind.
     Are you kind to yourself?
Love does not envy.
     Do you envy your past?
Love does not boast.
     Do you brag yourself up to make yourself feel better about your shortcoming?
Love is not proud.
     Are you a humble person?
Love does not dishonor others?
    Do you talk down to yourself?
Love is not self-seeking.
     Are you putting others' needs before you own?
Love is not easily angered.
     Do you get angry with yourself?
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
     Have you forgiven you?
Love does not delight in evil.
     Do you find joy in getting revenge when other have done you wrong?
Love rejoices with the truth.
     Are you being truthful with you?
Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.
     Do you protect and trust you? Do you have hope? Do you persevere or give up when things get tough?

We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can ever really truly be loved by others. Sure others will love us, but loving ourselves opens us up to a more abundant life of love. When we limit our self love, we limit how much love we feel and think that we are worthy of receiving. Loving yourself is not a selfish act, but an act of sacrifice. When you love yourself, not only do you become a stronger person, you become a better parent, spouse, employee, leader, etc. When we work on ourselves we become a more complete person, the person that we were designed to be, and that is the meaning of life.

Learning to love myself was not always easy. It took time. I had to invest in me. This has been the absolute best investment that I have ever made, and it's dividends have paid off immensely. Not only has it improved my financial situation, but more importantly,the relationships in my life.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

Are You Fighting For or Against?

I recently saw a commercial for World of Warcraft and in it contains this thought: "Asking why we fight is like asking why leaves fall from the tree. It is in our nature." This insight got me to thinking about why we fight in our lives. We are all fighters, it's just a matter of what we are fighting for. Those who say that they are "Lovers and not fighters" are only fooling themselves. We fight to be right, to be heard, to be loved, and to be accepted.

We get so stressed out when we are fighting for things to not happen in our lives. To many times we are fighting against the wrong things. We fight against poverty, against other peoples' opinions of us, or maybe against failure. The problem is that none of these things really matter. These battles raise our stress levels, take time away from loved ones, and take precious years off our lives. Plain and simple, these are not the battles that we should be spending our time on.

We expend all of this energy against stuff in our lives when we could be working towards the things that should really matter in our life.Working towards loving ourselves, accepting ourselves, and creating the life that we believe is successful. What people think of you, if others love and accept us or not, or if we are being heard or not doesn't matter. It's about how we perceive ourselves. When we concentrate on ourselves and those closest to us(kids, parents,close, time tested friends, etc.) and the rest of your life will start falling into place. We have to spend our time and effort taking care of ourselves. Improving our own personal space and creating a better life.

We quickly make decision to not fail and yet we procrastinate the decision to succeed. Take some time today and reflect about what really matter in your life. Stop spending time on unnecessary fights and start fighting for the things that matter the most.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

True Strength

True strength is not about physical qualities but about our ability to not give up when the battle seems to be over. Two of the strongest women I have ever known have been my Mom and my wife. Their feats of strength are not measured by how much they can lift but by their persistance to not give up when life has seemed to have dragged them to their deepest and darkest places. I have always looked up to these to woman and have admired what they have been able to accomplish. They both have fought through depression and have become stronger because of it. My Mom survived losing both her son and husband in less than two years. My wife has fought through losing almost all of her material things and was on the verge of becoming homeless. The ability to not give up can't be measured by some scientific equation but by shere determination. You have to find that reason to tie a knot when you reach the end of your rope. For both of these women, it was their kids that kept them hanging on and the to courage to fight back. Find that reason in your life, find your determination, and find your inner fighter. We are stronger than we believe we are. The struggles we have had up to this point have only been there to prepare us for our current struggles. Don't run and try to hide from your struggles. I understand that we need a stratgey when facing challenges but no action is not acceptable. I have been repeatedly accused of over analyzing things but I formulate a plan and then take action. Fear keeps us frozen and unable to act. Courage is the ability to act inspite of fear. Courage comes from fighting back when things seem bleek. Have courage because you ARE strong. Fight back because you deserve a better life. Fight back because your family deserves a better you. Live and enjoy your life. Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

The Abandonded Dreams

This past week I had the opportunity to see my favorite band, Royal Bliss, for the eighth time. These guys always put on an amazing show and leave everything on stage. Once they have finished their set, they always take time to mingle with their fans. I also had the opportunity to meet and hear The Young Gunz Band open for Royal Bliss. The guitarist is 12 years old and the bassist is just 14 years old and these kids can play. Now, I am no expect on talent but they sounded amazing to me. These kids are chasing their dreams and doing what they love.

I am sure that these boys have their struggles. Booking gigs, band practices, teenage drama, school, and I'm sure that there are many more that I have missed. Despite what ever obstacles have presented themselves to these young men, they have stuck to their "gunz" and have made their passion a reality. They have even produced their first single, got it on the local radio station, and are taking half of the proceeds from the sale the single and putting towards producing their first CD.

What ever happened to the dreams that we had as kids? Why did we abandon them? We used to sit and talk for hours on end about what we would be when we grew up, where we would live, what we would do for vacation, and what material possessions that we would have. Life hands us, maybe, a less than desirable career and we settle for it. We change our plans for our dream home for what we can afford for now and once again settle for it. When we stop dreaming, I believe, it is because we are settling. When we settle, we are lowering our standards to meet where we are in life. I understand that life hands us a mortgage, car payments, health issues, 40+ hours work weeks, but none of that matters if you really want your dreams to become your life.

Don't allow your struggles and setbacks to determine what your life will look like. Be bigger than them, believe that you deserve your best, and begin to pursue those abandoned dreams. Don't fear the unknown and make your intention be known about how you feel about those dreams of days gone by. Needles to say, I was inspired by The Young Gunz to keep pursuing my dreams and passions. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

The Chains On You

We all have chains that bind us. Some chains bind us to our past and some to our future and we are stuck in the middle of the tug-o-war called today. The chains that bind us to the future are pulling us toward our greatness as we are being held back by the chains of our past.

Our greatest potential are those chains that pull us toward our greatness, the problem lays in that fact that we cannot clearly see what that future really is. It's an intangible. As much as we try to envision it, dream about it, and plan for it, it is still as if we are looking at it through a dense fog at times. We can see some color, a shape, and maybe even smell what we believe that our future will be like, but inevitably, it is still an illusion of sorts. Our future is an abstract thing that we cannot completely grasp a hold of without some doubt.

Usually, the chains of the past, are those things in which left scars on us emotionally. Those words from a family member or friend that cut us like a knife. That resentment that we feel toward someone that did us wrong. Maybe it's a mistake that we made and just can't seem to forgive ourselves for. Whatever it is, understand that these chains only serve one purpose, to keep you from your greatness. 

The chains that bind us to our past, many times, are stronger than those pulling us to our future. Our past is a tangible thing. We lived through it. We were able to touch it, taste it, hear it, smell it, and feel it. It is real, whereas our future has not yet become a reality. Sure we can still move toward our future, our own personal greatness, but the chains of our past, slow us down, and will prevent us from achieving all that we can or should accomplish. Now for the good news, I have a solution for the chains of the past and how to break them so that you can move toward you personal greatness faster and achieve more. Let go of them. I know that you have heard it a thousand times or more and yes, I know that it's not just that easy. I have had several chains that I had to learn to let go of. It took time, patience, mentors, and a lot of self discovery. But by letting go, I have released myself from many of those things that were holding me back and have been able to grow as a person.

The chains that are pulling us toward the future are only as strong as your greatest weakness. Don't be afraid of your weaknesses, but rather embrace them and work on them. You want to make those chains as strong as possible and you can only do that by working on your weaknesses. You will have to be at your absolute best to achieve your absolute best. Your absolute best is waiting for you, so begin today by letting go of the past and strengthening your weaknesses.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Fear Paid Me A Visit

Four weeks ago, I wrote a blog entitled : "Me and My Precipice" and told about a change coming in my life and how I was going forward without fear. I realized this week, that I may have spoken to soon. I thought that I was closer to the edge than I really was. It was also a reality check for me, because I realized that I am still further away than I had first thought. I have been exchanging emails with a friend of mine about making this change in my life. This change will be the biggest risk that I have ever taken. When I received one of his emails this week, for some reason fear decided to pay me a visit. I got that uneasy feeling in my stomach, that internal trembling sensation, and a huge does of "are you doing the right thing?". They say, "The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward." I understand that concept and I realize that my success is ultimately up to me. I will need and will receive help along the way, but it's up to me to put in the work. No one can make me successful, that it up to me.

Instead of accepting the fear as fact, I embraced it as a natural reaction. I didn't feed my fear with negative thoughts and running away from it. I took the fear and analyzed it for what it really was, a fear of the unknown. I don't know what the future holds, I can only rely on this very moment. I don't even know how my day will end. As I began to embrace my fear, I felt it growing stronger. I knew that running from it would not fix it. I have to face it head on. A part of me wanted to ignore it and wait for it to pass, that has never worked for me in the pass, and I didn't expect it to this time either. As I began to listen to the fear, I was able to rationalize what it was that I was really fearing....failure. The heavy dose of PMA (positive mental attitude) that I have been feeding myself for the past two years came in very handy. The time and effort that I have spent in developing me, paid off.

By the end of the day, the fear had pretty much went away. My wife was there of me to lean on and be my strength when I felt weak. She is an amazing woman and believes in when I need her the most.So when you feel weak, fearful, or unloved, don't be afraid to lean on those who have supported you the most. Embrace those emotions and realize that you are stronger than any of those emotions. One of my favorite quotes from Les Brown is, "Ask for help, not because you are weak, but ask for help to stay strong. Ask for help and don't stop until you get it."

I found this great passage online; "Courage is "taking action is spite of fear." In fact, you can only experience courage in the face of fear. Fear is our greatest obstacle to living happy, peaceful and powerful lives. The true definition of fear is "anticipation of pain." Since anticipation is based in the future and the future only exists in our imagination, fear does not exist in reality. It only lives in our head." -by T. Harv Eker

Needless to say, I am still moving forward in the pursuit of my passions and dreams. I will not allow fear to hold me back. I understand that fear will visit me again but once again it will meet up with the fire that burns inside of me to make a better life for me, my family, and those whom I come into contact with. I do not welcome fear, but I will answer the door when it knocks with courage.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!

My 1st Year of Blogging

I has now been just over a year since I began my weekly blog. So, I decided to take a look at my stats and see what has happened. I have has 811 views from 10 different countries. I wonder if that makes me an international writer? :) I starting writing this blog in order to share some of my life experiences and to hopefully help people change their lives. I never realized how therapeutic it would end up being for me as well. Not only have I touched lives, but it has helped me in transforming my life as well. 

I wanted to take this moment and thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blogs. I am thankful for each and every view that I have had and will ever have. I sometimes allow doubt to creep in and wonder if what I am doing is making a difference. All I can do is have faith and continue to follow my heart and believe that it is. I love what I do and as you continue to follow me, you will see even more and even bigger changes coming. I believe that I am on the path that I was destined to live and you are capable of living your passion as well.

As I continue to follow my heart and share my perspectives, I hope that it continues to touch lives. If you are reading this, then you are one of those who I hope to reach. Remember that we only have the now, our past is gone, our future is not yet here. So take every moment and cherish it, love it, and make the most of it. Time slips away from us so quickly, but what you do with your time can leave a lasting impression on not only your life, but the lives of family and friends, and probably people that you will never meet. We are all connected in this web of life. Our actions and lack of actions have a rippling effect on this web. What kind of effect will you have on the web of life today?

I am always open to addressing questions in my blog, so please feel free to contact me at aiaolifecoaching@gmail.com. You can also find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching. I look forward to hearing from you. Live a blessed day and bless someone else today.

Top 5 Blogs Viewed My 1st Year

1) Laying on a Nail - 28 views

2) A Bully In My Life - 25 views

3) I'm Sorry, But You Have Been Chopped - 21 views

4) Just Wait - 19 views

5) When Did You Succeed? - 18 views

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!

The Shadow of Fear

Our fears cast shadows in our lives. They limit our abilities to enjoy life to it's fullest. The fear of heights can limit our chances of skydiving. The fear of water can limit our ability to enjoy a beach vacation to an exotic island. A fear of bug might limit our chances of seeing all of the beauty that a rainforest has to offer. 

I believe that the worse fear of all is the fear of becoming who we were destined to be. We become scared of failure and the unknown.We fear that we don't deserve what we desire in life. We fear the rejection of others because of the choices that we need to make. When we fear these things, we begin to settle for less in our lives. We settle for what is easy and convenient. We take on a job or career that is not fulfilling. We are in a relationship that isn't as great as is should be. We live in quiet desperation of what could have been. As time goes by the shadows that fear cast upon our lives grows and grows until we become used to the darkness that we have created. We have created this darkness by our lack of making decisions and reluctance to action upon the passions that we were born to fulfill.

The problem is, try as we might, we can never completely extinguish the light of the passions that we were born to accomplish. The only way that we can escape that desire to be more than we have been is death or decide to fan the flame and begin our journey to our destined greatness. As you begin to fan the flame, that is your passion, it will turn into a small fire and with consistent and persistent action, before you know it, that small fire will turn into a raging inferno that will soon take over the shadows that fears have created in your life. Stop questioning how, when, or even if it will happen when you make that decision to take actions in your life. If you truly desire to make it happen, it will. The universe is on your side and will act in your favor in equal proportion to your efforts. This will take some time, so be patient. The law of sowing and reaping is always in effect. You will face some stumbling block because you will still be reaping what you have sown in your past. But the fruit of your labors will come back to you. I have learned patience, determination, commitment, and faith during my journey and I would not change a thing. I now understand that these were lessons that I needed to learn because they were some of my weaknesses. 

Stop allowing the darkness of fear to consume your life and fan the flame of your passion into a firestorm that will result in a happiness and peace that you have never known.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

Squeezing The Life Out Of A Dream

Can we hang on too tightly to a dream? Can we suffocate a dream? My answer is "yes" to both of these questions. Allow me to explain. Having a dream, pursuing a dream, and achieving a dream are some of the most important keys to success. Success in business, relationships, health, and any other area of your life. These are the foundation to building an incredible life. 

When I began my journey, almost two years ago, I know what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I wanted to help others. I knew that I had a gift that needed to be shared. I was tired of running from it, I was tired of ignoring it, and it was time to get serious about it. I knew that what ever I set my mind, heart, and soul to do, I could accomplish it. I knew where I wanted to go, but I refused to limit how I was going to get there, how long it should take, and what it would look like when I got there. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't put a date on your dreams, but understand, it might take longer and less time than you planned. I think, too many times we get frustrated and quit because it isn't happening exactly like we planned. 

Give your dreams, plans, and time frames room to breathe. Don't put a strangle hold on them. They need to be nurtured, fed, watered, and given plenty of sunlight. Feed your dreams with knowledge, water your dreams action, and give them the sunlight with filling your life with positive. I have learned so much in my journey and have so much more to learn. I am amazed at how much my life has changed, my family's life has changed, and the change that I have seen in those around me. I am so very thankful and blessed to be where I am today, but I couldn't have done it with out first changing something in me.

Don't allow your frustrations win, fight for your dreams, and believe that what your have dreamed is only the tip of the iceberg of what the universe really has in store for you. You can achieve it, if you only believe it.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

Me and My Precipice

A friend of mine recently said that he has had the opportunity to stand at the top of a cliff, spread his arms wide open, and take the leap off. Now, he was talking about it in a metaphoric sense, but the idea is the same. We all have had those opportunities, to take that leap of faith, to throw caution to the wind, and go for whatever it is that we desire in life. Everyday that we wake up and get out of bed, we throw a certain amount of caution to the wind. Living just comes with a certain amount of risk.

The thing is, most of our everyday risks are greatly outweighed but the reward. Getting in a car is a far greater reward than walking 30 miles to work. Everyday our brain analyzes the risks that we are taking versus the rewards of doing those things. If the risks are to great, we step back and go a different and more familiar path. We are creatures of habit for the most part and choose those actions which cause us the least amount of stress, pain, and resistance. I have long been one of those people, my analytical brain surveys the situation and creates rational lists of pros and cons of why I should and shouldn't proceed in a particular direction in my life.

I dropped out of college and began a career in retail, not much risk there. I've moved several times in my career to better myself and the life of my family, there again, reward was greater than the risk. Looking back at my life, I have never really taken that huge risk in life. I've always wanted to, but every time, I chickened out. I have encouraged others to take a bigger risk, but never have myself. Call me a hypocrite if you want, but the tide is about to change.

Every time that I stood at my own personal precipice, held my arms wide open, looked down at the unknown, I stepped back and took the path of least resistance. This time it's different, this time I have no fear or reservation. This time I will take that leap, fall into the unknown, and risk it all for great success. These type of moments are the ones that test our resolve, our determination, and our faith. I will not waiver, I will not allow fear to stop me, and I know that great rewards come to those who take great risks.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

You Can Run and Hide

In my early twenties, I figure out what my passion is in life. I realized that I enjoyed helping people. I remember kids coming to me in junior high, telling me their problems and asking for advice. I always got a special sense of happiness from helping them out. Sure, being that young, I only had a certain amount of life experience, but I used what I had. I've also been able to learn from others' life experiences and share that information as well. Helping others was something that I never had to go look for, they always seemed to find me. Age never seemed to be an issue either, I talked with people from all ages. It always made me feel a little extra special, when those with a lot more life experience than me, come to me for advice.

Even though I knew what my passion was in life, I never actually took the steps to pursue it. It seems like, every time that thought about pursuing it, something was in my way. I would run and hide behind whatever that thing was. It was money issues, a job, or lack of opportunities. I would allow these things to stop me from pursuing my passion as a full-time career. I would run to what was convenient or hide behind the obstacles that I saw. Pursuing your passion will take work, but it's worth it.

As much as I tried to run and hide, my passion never left me. It was always there, waiting to remind you that it hasn't left. Maybe I heard a story that reminded me of what I wanted to do, or saw a TV program about someone doing the very thing that you want to do. Our passion isn't there by mistake, I believe that you are born with it. We have a destiny in life and it is tied to your passion. Running and hiding from it only causes you to delay the happiness that you were destined to have.Your real destiny is within you and it wants to be pursued. 

Almost two years ago, I decided that I owed it to myself to finally pursue my passion in life. I have put a lot of work into it and have made some great strides. I know that I still have a long way to go, but every step that I have taken has been more than worth it. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this will one day become my full-time career. My life has changed so much and I'm not looking back. Helping others IS my passion and I will pursue it until the day I die. Today my career as a Motivational Speaker and Life Coach is underway and it will be my legacy.

Don't allow another day pass without taking a step toward pursuing your passion in life. You owe it to yourself, your family, your friends, and the world. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Have You Ever Lead A Horse To Water?

We have all heard the saying that, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." It means that you can share with someone, information, technique, or even a belief, but you can't force them to apply that knowledge. We all have been bombarded with information all of our lives. It begins the moment that we are born and doesn't end until our passing. We are living in what they are calling "The Information Age." We have access to more information than ever before on this planet. If you want to know something, it is pretty much at your fingertips. 

With all of this access, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Who and or what do we believe. What photos have been edited, what articles are biased, what is our government hiding? It is easy to get lost in all of this. It's easy to lose our focus and get steered in the wrong direction from where we started. Trust your heart and intuition. I would encourage everyone to never stop learning. For me personally, much of my enlightenment has come from reading. Knowledge is the light that illuminates our soul. When our soul is illuminated, our dreams and passion begin to burn. When that happens, we begin to see our life in a whole new way. What we once saw as impossible, we now see as possible. 

Now comes the hard part, making the horse drink. You have equipped yourself with this knowledge, but you now have to act on it. It may be religious knowledge, career knowledge, school knowledge, or even life knowledge, but all of it is useless if it's not applied. No one can make you apply yourself. Only you have that can do that. You have to make yourself. Calvin Coolidge said:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

 

 Take your knowledge and press on toward your dreams and goals. Use it to create the life that you dare to aspire to live. You are worthy of your dreams, you deserve to live them, and you deserve your best. Change your life and your life will change. Do it long enough, and watch the lives of those around you begin to change as well. Impact your life and you can impact the world.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Title Does Not Make A Leader

Years ago, my Mom used to say, "My job title and fifty cents could buy her a cup of coffee." The price of a cup of coffee has went way up since then, but the truth remains. A title is just a title. I've always told me employees that, "The only difference between me and them, is that when the poo rolls down hill, it just hits me first."

I have know for years, that I am only as good as my employees. It is ultimately my responsibility to make sure that I have the right people in the right place at the right time, but I am still dependent upon their drive and desire to do a good job. I have been very blessed to work with some great people in my life. People who were committed to their job, their quality of work, and their desire to be better. I have even had employees want to follow me when I transferred to another store, or even quit the company to follow me to a new company. Leadership has many facets to it, but here are just a few, of what I believe to be, core principles:

1) Be the Example

2) Be Empathetic

3) Give Credit Where It's Due

4) Respect is Earned

I have never been to good to do anything that I would ask an employee to do. I have cleaned bathrooms, swept floors, cashiered, stocked, and worked nights, weekends, and holidays. I have tried to set the example of what I expect from my employees. I try to be empathetic to their wants and needs, but I remind them that I still have a store to run. When my bosses have come around, I never take credit for a project that I didn't do and I will take the blame if something is wrong because I allowed it. I never pass the blame onto someone else. Having a title should carry a certain amount of respect, but that can be lost if you are not a good leader, and the rest should be earned.

I have got to where I am today, because of my employees. Yes, it took my drive, desire, and applying the skills/knowledge that I have learned, but I still owe a lot to all those who have worked for me. Remember a title is just a title if you don't respect your position. 

As the leader of you life, you can also follow these core principles: Be the example, Be empathetic, Give credit where it is due, and earn your respect from others. Surround yourself with the right people, to have in the right place, at the right time for when you need them. You are not using people, because you should be that person in their lives as well.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

It's About What We Left

Father's Day is tomorrow and I wanted to share what Father's Day means to me. Being a Dad is something that I have always wanted to be. Many little boys dream of become a firefighter, a policeman, a doctor, and many other things. Sure I had those dreams to, but it was always preceded by being a Dad. In 1992 I got that opportunity, my daughter was born and it was the happiest day of my life. I became a Dad again in 2003, when my son was born. My children mean the world to me. I love being a Dad. Sure, it's one of the hardest jobs in the world, but it's rewards are immeasurable. As my children have grown up, I have had to watch them fall, but physically and figuratively, but that it a part of the job. I have always tried to be there for them when they have needed me. 

My Dad died when I was almost 3 and I have no memories of him, only photos and story that people have shared with me. But, the stories that have been shared with me, have helped me realize that even though he was taken from me at an early age, he left a legacy that has lived on through the years. My Mom says that I am very much like my Dad. People who knew my Dad, say the same thing. I have heard so many wonderful stories about my Dad. How caring he was, his work ethic, and his family values. What he has left behind is a life that touched many people. I know that my Dad would be proud of me. 

When I was 15, my Mom got remarried and my step-Dad entered my life. Needless to say, I was not always the role model kids. I had temper issues and was a very typical rebellious teenager. My parents had their hands full. But my step-Dad has always been there for me and has always supported me. He never gave up on me becoming a responsible adult. Thank you for your love and support.

In 2005 I too became a step-Dad. I have tried my best to follow the great example that my step-Dad was to me. Even though we are not as close as I would like to be, I know that she knows I am always there for her. I love being a step-Dad too.

It's not what we leave for our children, it's what we leave in them. I hope that when I am gone, my children can look back, with a smile on their faces and in their hearts, at the legacy that I have left for them. Be the role model in your kids' life. Even if you have stumbled in the past, you can begin to create that legacy today.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Mirror Image

I recently posted on facebook, "The reflection that we see in the mirror is merely a reflection of our past choices, not a view of our future." The topic of what we see in the mirror has stuck with me for a couple of days now. I keep running it through my mind and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. 

Who and what we are today are results of the choices that we have made in the past. When you look in the mirror, you might see an overweight person, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a failure as a spouse or parent, or something else. The point is, you see that because that is what you have created. Now, you can blame your present situation on anything you want. You can say that is was because I was raise in the projects, my Mom didn't love me, my Dad abandoned me, I was bullied in school, I was molested, I was abused, or what ever else might have happened to you. All these things that have happened to you, is not who you are. You are a product of how you decided to react to these situations. Stop playing the blame game and having pity parties for you past. The only reason that it is holding you back is because you are still carrying that baggage. The only reason that you are not where you want to be in life is because you are allowing your past to dictate your future. You are allowing the image that you see in the mirror to become your reality.

Where you have been in life, what you have done, and what has happened to you, has nothing to do with where you can be in life. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that your past has nothing to do with your future, because it does. You have a choice to make, will your past make you or break you? You can allow it to continue to prevent you from accomplishing your greatness or you can use it as a tool and motivation to accomplishing your greatness. 

I allowed that imagine in the mirror to control my life for years. All I saw was that "short, fat kid", the kids that was told, "your dumb and will never amount to anything." Yes, my Father died when I was 3, yes, my brother died when I was 2, yes, I was abused as a kid, yes, I was bullied in school, and yes, I failed with my first marriage. I could have used any one of these things to just give up and chose to live less then what I was capable of. But I knew that I had more in me. I knew that I could accomplish something more than mediocrity. I had heart to move on. No it didn't happen over night, some of my image problems carried into my thirties. I was not going to allow my past to create my future. Sure, if I would have dealt with some of these issues sooner, my life might be different. But the point is, I never gave up.


So the next time that you look in the mirror, realize that you are staring face to face with your greatness. 


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Kids On A Leash

Now, I'm not talking about the things that you strap to your child so that they don't wander to far when you are at the zoo, amusement park, and shopping malls. I have seen these devices and personally I find them funny. I never had a use for them for my kids but I can see their value. Maybe they should make them with a bungee cord, now that could be entertainment.

My parents, ex in-laws, and current in-laws have all told me that I am or have been too strict on my kids. My daughter(from a previous marriage) is now 20, and my son(from my current marriage) is 9. I'm sure, that from their views, I have been too strict on my kids. I have high standards on how I think that my kids should act. Do I expect perfection, no. But I do expect them to act right. I never heard a complaint from any of them about one of my kids acting up whenever they had them. Many times, I would hear stories about how strangers complimented them on how well their grand kids behaved where ever they might have taken them.

Here is what has worked for me. I believe that when kids are small, you have to keep the leash on them tight and close to you. Be firm, set the standards that you expect, and stick to it. My kids have had things taken away from them, ground for weeks on end, and yes, I believe in a firm swat on the rear is occasionally needed. Children need to learn and understand early on that there are rules and guidelines that have to be followed in life and especially in public. My kids get to go to the toy aisle, after I am done shopping, if we didn't have any problems. I believe in rewarding good behavior, not just punishing the bad. I've always told my kids how I appreciate how good they were in a given situation. I've always scorned the action but never the child. Our kids aren't bad, but their actions, sometimes are.  

As my children have began to grow up and they start wanting to have some freedoms, like playing at the neighbors house, going on a bike ride with friends, driving, dating, and so on, I have been confident that they know my rules and because I have kept the leash tight, I have some to give. It's an understanding that I can and will quickly pull that leash back if they get out of line. The more that they show they can handle the more that I can let go of the leash.

Too many times, I have seen parents struggling with teens that they allowed to just run as kids. If you give all the slack out when they are toddlers and young children, I believe that it is next to impossible to reign that leash back in when they are teens. We, as parents, have a responsibility to our children. We need to raise them to be upstanding members of society. They need to understand and have respect for rules and others. I am confident that I could let my kids go alone into a store, restaurant, or any other public place and they wouldn't act a fool. Their age, yes, but not act up. I love my children, but they know that Dad will be stern when they get out of line. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

The Mosaic of Life

I'm not really the artist type. Matter of fact, I often tell people, "I can't drawn a straight line with a ruler." My artistic skills pretty much stopped at coloring inside the lines. I can appreciate what other are capable of and I applaud their efforts. I have been to museums and I love to look at all of the wonderful paintings, sculptures, drawings, and the assorted works from such talented people.

Many of us have had things happen in our lives that we consider to be broken. Broken families, relationships, careers, marriages, and hearts. These things can have such lasting effects on our lives. They can cause us to distort our view of life. They can keep us from being truly happy in life. Worse yet, they can severely limit our possibilities of ever having a healthy relationship, marriage, or career again. We refuse to let go of the hurt, the grudges, the disappointments, and scares left behind. We carry around the baggage left behind by there things like they are a badge of honor. We love sharing these battle scars with whomever will listen. Looking for someone to justify our feelings and join our pity party. 

I believe that there is another option. Much like an artist, we can choose to make something beautiful out of the broken pieces. I am pretty sure that we have all seen what a mosaic is. It's where you take what looks like a bunch of broken pieces, glue or concrete them together, to make a new and more beautiful picture than before. The colors are more arrayed, the pieces are now where you want them instead of how others have placed them. When we take charge of our lives, and begin to place the pieces where we want them, then and only then are we truly the artists of our own lives. We have to choose to make something beautiful out of the the pieces that we have. Sure it's not always easy. It will take some time and some glue, but the end result is worth it. The glue is the things that are right in our life. The people, career, dreams, and passions that drive us to be at our best. Find the glue in your life and begin to build your life mosaic.

I have had my share of things broken in my life, but I had to come to the point in my life where I decided that making something beautiful was more important than finding the next guest to attend my pity party. Pick up the pieces and make a new life and create a beautiful mosaic with those pieces. Those pieces should remind you of the good times and what can be done differently this time. I have learned so much from my past and I have created the beautiful life that I now live. I know that it will only get better, as long as I stay committed to creating beauty from the pieces.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

My Unattended Bushes

I really don't have a green thumb and yard work is not my favorite thing to do. But I understand that if I don't take care of what I do have, weeds and vines can take over. What inspired this blog was, I was out cleaning up the bushes in the front of my house today and realized that I had let things get way out of hand. The neighbor has ivy growing in her yard and it has crept onto my house and around my bushes. Now sure it's pretty but, unattended, and it quickly gets out of control. As I was doing a massive trim job on the bushes, I also found trash under the bushes.

Our life is a lot like this area in the front of my house. When it's well tended, it looks beautiful, but left unattended and allowed to grow wildly, bad things can happen. We have to spend time tending the garden that we call life. We have to make sure that the things and people in our lives, are well nurtured. We have to take time to exterminate the weeds and remove the junk that others leave. Life demands constant loving care. Outside circumstances and people will leave junk in our lives. It it our responsibility to keep it cleaned up. They want to drag their drama into our lives and leave it there. We have to be very mindful about those kinds of people. Sometimes, we allow situations and things into our lives that were innocent enough to begin with but we have left them unchecked and now they have taken over the more beautiful things on our lives. Sometimes, things like TV, partying, social media, and hobbies, just to name a few. All these things, that we have allowed to stay in our lives, can and will eventually kill off the things in our life that are most precious if we allow them to run rampant, much like the neighbor lady's ivy.

Only you can decide what needs to flourish in your garden of life. For me, it's love, relationships, my passion, dreams, and my job. All of these things bring happiness into my life. I have learned what things I need to moderate in my life, so that it doesn't begin to stifle the growth of those things that are most important to me. I have also learned, that even those things that I want to dominate my garden of life, need to be trimmed and pruned from time to time. My relationships need to be kept in check, because they too can get out of hand. The dead parts need to be cut off so that it may grow and bloom more effectively. I do the same with my passions, dreams, and my job. I regularly check those things, what had become the dead parts, what needs to be improved upon, and what needs a little extra care.

As I was finishing up my yard work, the neighbor with the ivy, stopped to talk. She said that she knows that the ivy gets out of hand and that I could spray some roundup on it if I wanted to. She also commented how much the likes the way the bushes bloom in the summer. I told her that I was going to trim them way back this year, so they might not bloom like they have the past couple of years. But in trimming them way back this year, it will give them new growth, and a better bloom next year. How does your garden grow? What parts need cleaned out? What do you need to trim way back so that it will bloom even better next year?

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Just Wait

Patients has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. I used to get stressed, angry, upset, and depressed when things didn't happen when I wanted them to. Many times it was probably because I had my hopes set to high. There is nothing wrong with high expectations, but you have to remember the universe is on your side and it has great plans for you. Sure is still get discouraged, but I don't let it get me down to the point where I want to give up. I keep my faith in me strong and I keep the knowledge, that I will make my life it's best, my predominant thought. To many times, I would let my impatience get the best of me and try to make things happen, and sure enough, it screwed things up. Patience, has never failed me, but I can't say the opposite. Every time that I waited, the door that was best suited for my life opened and great things happened. 

Sometimes we have to wait because we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually not ready for what is about to happen. Maybe there is some knowledge we need to acquire, some ailment that we need to get past, or some personal development that we need to take care of before we are capable of handling the next chapter in our life. Many times, because all of our lives are connected, the universe is getting everything in order to create what needs to happen. But when everything is in place and you have been patient, the results will be amazing. 

Patience, doesn't mean that we have completely stopped. It means that we are still doing what we can, where we are, with what we have at our disposal. Stopping only prolongs the wait. It will only add to any frustrations that you might already have. When the time is right, the right door will open, and you will have no reservations about stepping through it and you will be well prepared for it.

This week's blog is a perfect example. There is usually about seven days between my posts and I haven't posted in about twelve. I knew that I needed to write, but nothing was coming to me. I waited and waited and waited. Nothing. So tonight I decided to just begin a blog, with not real topic, and see what happens. This is what happened. I hope that this helped you.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Distorted View of Happiness

Many times we grew up having a distorted views of what happiness is and what makes us happy. As a child it might have been a candy bar, a new bike, or a new friend that we believed made us happy. As teens, it was things like, a car, a party, or a new relationship. Adults see things like a job, a promotion, a house, or a family that makes them happy. In reality, all of these things can't make you happy. I love my wife, kids, and grandsons, but they can't make me happy. My home, my job, my car are all great, but they too cannot make me happy. 

Happiness is a direct product of you. You have to decide to be happy. You have to take action to make you happy. To many times we try to replace our lack of happiness with thing or people and we end up right back where we were, unhappy. Lasting happiness come from within. It's about how you see yourself, how you perceive your world, and how you respond to life. Happiness is an attitude that must be developed and nurtured with constant guidance. If we truly want to have lasting happiness, we have to believe that we are worthy of it. We have to believe that our life is about the good around us and it's not out to get us. Personally, I have struggled with being cynical about the world and many of those who inhabit it. I have days where I allow people to distort my happiness because I allow cynicism into my life. When we can realize that we can change the outcomes in our lives and take the appropriate action, happiness follows. Happiness is about being you and not how people perceive you. We all have critics in our lives, but become the type of person that you desire to be.

Once we begin to understand that we are the key to our happiness, then we can begin to surround ourselves with people and things that add to our happiness. I married my wife because she adds to my happiness. My children and grandsons add to my happiness. My house, car, and job add to my happiness. I listen to music, watch movies, and TV that adds to my happiness. When we find those people and things in our life that don't add to our happiness, we either have to get rid of their presence in our lives or have very limited contact with it or them. When we are truly happy, we then can better add happiness to those around us. We can change our world and the world of those around us when we understand that the foundation of our happiness begins within us. Choose to be happy, take actions to make you happy, and surround yourself with people and things that add to your happiness....oh, and don't forget to smile.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Fight or Flight...We Have A 3rd Option

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about the fight or flight responses in humans:

In the human fight or flight response in prehistoric times, fight was manifested in aggressive, combative behavior and flight was manifested by fleeing potentially threatening situations, such as being confronted by a predator. In current times, these responses persist, but fight and flight responses have assumed a wider range of behaviors. For example, the fight response may be manifested in angry, argumentative behavior, and the flight response may be manifested through social withdrawal, substance abuse, and even television viewing.
Males and females tend to deal with stressful situations differently. Males are more likely to respond to an emergency situation with aggression (fight), while females are more likely to flee (flight), turn to others for help, or attempt to defuse the situation – 'tend and befriend'. During stressful times, a mother is especially likely to show protective responses toward her offspring and affiliate with others for shared social responses to threat.

The fight or flight responses are at the core of our survival mode. In prehistoric times, it was kill or be killed and eat or be eaten. Still today, these responses are still very evident in our lives, though they show up in very different ways. Most of us have to worry about either killing our food or our food killing us. We usually don't have to worry about being invaded by a wandering clan that wants to pillage our community, kill us, and take our women and children. For the most part, we live in a much more civilized time and place.

The fight or flight response has changed to our everyday activities. We get home from a long day at work, the kids have their activities that they need ran from here to there to, and we still need to find time for supper. Once all of that has been completed, we may have time for some TV, an hour at the gym, or maybe we can take some time and catch up on Facebook. I know that my days seem much like this. And that only covers Monday through Friday. The weekend? Laundry, yard work, cleaning, home repairs, and more activities to run the kids to. With our busy schedules, we are either fighting to get it all done, or we flight away from some of the things that are important to us because they seem to be going smoothly.

What I mean by flight away is, that we begin to ignore the relationships closest to us, our passion for our career, true happiness, and so forth because they give us the illusion that they are fine. We ignore the warning signs of a failing marriage, the fact that we "have" to go to work instead of wanting to go to work, and signs that our life isn't where we want it to be. We begin settling and just surviving our lives.

I believe that we have an opportunity be develop a thrive response to our lives. Sure it's not always easy to get out of our comfort zone and reach for that which we truly desire, but we are so worth the effort. Anything worth having is worth working for. Are you worth your best? Is being truly happy worth working toward? Believe that you were put on this earth to thrive. Know that you deserve a life that is thriving. For a plant to grow and thrive, they dig their roots deeper and reach for the sunlight. Work on becoming who it is that you want to be by working on yourself and reaching those roots deep so that you can't easily be shaken. Reach for the sun by reaching for your dream and passions. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big