Extreme Happiness

I took this photo, of the product above, to show you that I have found "Extreme Happiness." This comes in a perfume form(haven't found a cologne...yet). So all you have to do is to carry it with you every where you go and spray some on you when you feel the need to have some Extreme Happiness in your life. The Extreme Happiness that this product delivers won't last forever but no worries, because you can easily afford this product. I am excited to tell you that this item only costs one dollar per bottle. You can afford to buy multiple bottle and keep one in every room of the house. 

Feeling down about your culinary skills in the kitchen? No problem, you have a bottle of Extreme Happiness!. Watching your favorite sports team lose on the television in the family room? No problem, you have a bottle of Extreme Happiness!. Unpleasant smells coming from the bathroom? No problem, you have a bottle of Extreme Happiness! Was there some "unfinished" business in the bedroom? No problem, you have a bottle of Extreme Happiness!

Get your bottle(s) today and begin experiencing the Extreme Happiness that this product can bring to you and those around you.

I know that it is a silly concept to think that a bottle of perfume can bring you instant Extreme Happiness. It is not more silly than thinking that other things or people can do that for us. It's funny how we search far and wide for happiness. We buy expensive things, just to make long drawn out payments, even long after the newness and happiness has since faded away, only to repeat the cycle over and over again. We undermine the person that we know we should be only to gain approval from others, thinking that that too will make us happy. As long as we are looking outside of ourselves for happiness, it is only temporary. Eventually the newness fades and that sense of happiness that it once brought has faded as well. Then we go looking for the next new happiness.

Our happiness must come from within. It is not something that we can buy with money, time, or affection on something outside of us. Happiness is something that must be planted by us, tended by us, and cultivated by us, within ourselves. Sure, things and people can add to our happiness, but ultimately, it begins and ends with us. You must work on yourself and depend on you for your own happiness. Work on your self-confidence, self-image, and self-worth. I believe that the are the core values that we must develop in ourselves. It is an understanding that our past doesn't define our future. Our future is yet to be determined. We are the creators of our life and how we will live it. We are not victims to circumstances, but directors of how we react and respond to circumstances. Be your reason to be happy. Can't find a reason? You are alive and that, my friends, is reason enough to rejoice. You have within you the ability to be as happy as you choose to be.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Shifting Gears

I am the kind of guy, that occasionally, feels that need for speed. I usually get that itch when I am on my motorcycle. I have been know to open it up and do around 100mph. I am in no way shape or form am I encouraging this kind of behavior. I am merely sharing my personal experience and choices that I have made. I understand that going that fast is not only illegal but very, very dangerous. 

I have never really had the opportunity to drive a true sports car, but I have always been a fan of Porsche. I like the way many of them look and sounds. I would probably like owning one some day, but my insurance company might not like all the tickets that I would probably end up with and eventually drop me. A friend, recently told me to go to the dealership and test drive one. I just might have to look into that come Spring. 

I don't know how many of you have every driven a manual transmission, but I believe that everyone should learn. When my Mom was teaching me to drive, she made me learn on a manual transmission. She said that if I can learn how to drive a "stick shift", I could drive anything. I have only owned two cars with a "stick shift" but there is just something about driving one that makes driving a little more fun when speed is an objective.

Just like in any type of transmissions, you have to shift from gear to gear depending on if you want to go faster or slower. Yes, the gas pedal is for that too, but each gear has it's limits, and to get the best performance, you must shift gears. If you try to push those gears to go faster than they were designed to, you can really damage your car. If you are going to slow for that gear, you lose power and could possibly stall the engine. 

Life is a lot like having to shift gears. When we are moving forward in our life, we can only go so fast with our current way of thinking and doing. In order to go faster and further, we must make a change, shift gears. What we have done up to this point, can only take us so far. We must change, in order to move on. Don't be afraid to shift up a gear. You are capable of more than what you have been doing. If we, for some reason, have to down shift, don't be ashamed. Simply down shift, and don't take the chance of stalling the engine that is driving you(a.k.a. you dreams and passions). A down shift can be caused by many things, road conditions, up-shifted too soon, or maybe you just need a little casual drive time. Those around you, who really care about you, will understand and support your decisions to either up-shift or down-shift.

For those of you who have never driven a "stick shift", between gear change, you must use the clutch to shift. I am not a car repair guy and this may be a horrible analogy of what the clutch is for but here is how I see it. The clutch is there to release the gear you are currently in and allows you to go to the gear that you desire. Using the clutch is very important. If not used properly, you can ruin your whole transmission. 

We have a clutch in life as well. In order for us to get from on place in life to another, we will have to let go. Letting go can be hard and scary at times. But it is merely the fear of the unknown and learning to get comfortable with a new action or thought process. I believe that, clutching, is what holds so many back from their real potential. We are complacent with where we are in our life's journey and are afraid of losing that comfort. You will have to get uncomfortable and let go of people, places, and things in order to get where your heart desires. Clutching isn't about losing, but about gaining and giving ourselves the opportunity to move on in life and get out of our rut.

I would challenge you all to learn to drive a manual transmission if you don't know how to already. For those of you who know how, get behind the wheel or handlebars again soon and feel the rush. <drive responsibly>. Drive your life like a professional driver, after all, who knows how to drive your life better than you? Professionals didn't get that good overnight, it took time and a lot of trial and error, but with determination they became the best. So can you with your life.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.

What Are You Asking?

Successful don't ask what's wrong with something, they ask what's right with it. -Eric Thomas

When we begin to take a close, hard, and honest look at our life, we tend to justify why we do some of the things we do and some of the people in our circle. Being honest with ourselves is hard because we begin to realize that we need to let go of some things and people and letting go is tough. The reason that letting go is so hard is because in order to let go, we are letting go of what has become comfortable in our life. Real change seems to only happen when we let go of what is not adding value to our lives. 

When we evaluate what is holding us back in life, we tend to ask, "What is wrong with_______?" This is just us justifying why to hold on to that thing or person. What is wrong with going to the bar every weekend? What is wrong with watching my shows? All these questions are doing, is allowing us an excuse to hold onto these things that are comfortable to us, even though they are holding us back. We deserve better things and people in our life and yet we hold onto the very things that are hurting us. 

It's time to change our line of questioning. We need to ask what is right with these people and things. Are they really adding value to our lives? What's right with going to the bar every weekend? What's right with spending so much time watching your shows? Sure, this takes some brutal honest with ourselves and that can be tough. Don't be afraid of this line of questioning. Stop trying to to place a value on what you will gain, it's an unknown value. We can only know the value of what we are losing because it has been a part of our life. The value of what will enter our lives when we let go of what is not adding to our lives cannot be determined because we have not ever had it. Stop allowing yourself the luxury of comfort, time to get uncomfortable and grow.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best because you deserve it.

Undercover Lost

 I really enjoy watching the show Undercover Boss. The fact that a corporate executive takes the time to go out in to the field and see, first hand, what the front line is really like. They get an opportunity to see if their initiatives are or are not working. They get to see the everyday struggles and triumphs of their employees. I think that every corporate executive should have to go out into field for at least a week every year. They have to leave the office behind and spend a week working hand in hand with the associates who made the company run their day to day operations. I think that they would get a better perspective as to how their company really works. 

The majority of this post will be from my perspective as an hourly employee and as a salary manager. I know that I have no clue all the struggles that occur at the corporate office, I can only comment from my own personal experiences. I am sure that I could gain a new respect for the jobs of a corporate executive if I spent some time at a corporate office. I know that their job, like mine, can be very difficult at times. I am sure that things happen at the hourly associate level that creates a major headache for them. Many of these headaches probably could have been avoided, had the associate just followed the policies already in place. But, the corporate executive is now having to clean up the mess.

So here it goes, my view of the corporate office from my personal experiences in retail. There seems to be a huge disconnect between corporate offices and it's employees that work in the field daily. Corporate executives seem to keep rolling out new ideas and policies without completely investigating the effects on the associates. It sometimes seems like, some of these ideas/ policies are rolled out just to justify someone's job in the office. Here is a new ideas/policy, now make it happen. Maybe it's just my analytical mind, but there always seems to be so many problems with most of these roll outs. I am sure that they sometimes do trial runs in select stores, but how much do they listen to the opinions of those doing the "test run"? Or are they just saying, "Here is the idea, make it happen."? I agree with doing test runs, however, those in the field should have the best perspective as to how well it will work out and what needs to be adjusted.

Every company that I have worked for says that their associates are their most valuable asset and yet they treat us like we are mere side notes to sales and profits. Sure we are valued, valued to be puppets on strings to do their bidding to make the company money. They will talk about turn over as a problem and yet they don't implement programs or train leaders how to reduce turn over. I believe that the biggest cause of turn over is that the associates don't feel appreciated. I am convinced that if an associate feels valued, they will stay with that employer, even if it means less pay than they can get elsewhere. People are motivated by feeling like they are a part of something bigger than their selves. Sure money helps, but it's not the biggest determining factor in an employee staying with a company. What is a company doing to make their associates feel valued? The company that I currently work for, several years ago, took away the music playing in our stores. From what I can figure out, it was to reduce costs. I understand that, but I would be willing to give up part of my annual profit sharing bonus to have music back in my store. Not only would I appreciate it, but so would the associates and customers. Not every decision to protect the bottom line is the right decision.

I am just guessing, but I would venture to bet that if you ask most associates, "What is your employer's mission statement?", they would have no clue. Mission statements have value at a corporate level but are meaningless to the average employee. If you take an interest in your associates, your associate will take an interest in the corporate office. Leadership is not about your mission statement, it is about people. Sure a leader needs to be that vision statement, but if that leader doesn't see people as valuable human beings but sees them as replaceable parts, all is lost. People are the key to success, not a mission statement. In the book, "The One-Minute Manager" it talks about being the kind of manager that you would want to work for. How many corporate executives are the kind of corporate executives that they would want to work for? Just because we are all replaceable, doesn't mean that we have to be treated as such. We should not be treated as expendable parts, but as human beings.

So, I know that it has sounded like I have done nothing but vent about my career, but it's not really the case. I enjoy the career that I have chosen. I have had the privilege to work for some wonderful district and regional managers. Managers that actually care about their associates. I have been in the retail world for over 20 years and I have seen the value of associates diminish over the years. I have always tried to make my associates feel valued and like a part of a family. I have little to no turn over because I don't see them as replaceable parts, but as human beings. Sure, I still have to write people up for failure for follow company policies, but they also know that they have forced my hand for me to do so when they refuse to correct their actions. Leadership is about people following those who make them feel valued and important. I have always tried to do just that, and so far I have been pretty successful.

***To Corporate Executives***
- Get out in the field and see what the front lines are really like
- Listen to those who are on the front lines
- Be the kind of corporate executive that you would want to work for
- Care more about people than a mission statement

Adapt, Improvise,And Overcome to become your best.

The Bully In Me

With so much attention on bullying these days, I thought that I would share my perspective on it. I know that some of what I am about to share might not be popular with everyone, but this is just my perspective. I have some understanding into this epidemic. I was bullied as a child and have even been as an adult. I know the scars that it has left on me emotionally. I know the effects that is had on my childhood and how I carried it into my adulthood. These scars affected my self-confidence and self-image. 

I am also aware of the effects that it can have on a family, when a person decides to take their own life due to the abuse that they receive from bullies. This tragic end, is rarely the results of a first time being bullied. Usually this is the choice made by someone who has been bullied for an extended period of time. Being bullied, wears you down to the point that, all too often, suicide seems like the only way out. If you are contemplating this option, please talk to someone about it. This is not your only option. There are people around you that are there to help you because they care and love you very much.

I want to address another version of bullying. This, I believe, is the worst kind of bullying. It is the bullying of ourselves. How can we bully ourselves? The most common way is our self talk. We tell ourselves that we are a loser, worthless, unlovable, and alone. None of these things are true and yet we choose to only listen to these very hurtful words from ourselves. Our confidence begins and ends with us, and these kinds of beliefs about ourselves, ruin our self-esteem. We are not losers, we have made it this far and can keep going. We have all had struggles in life and made it through them, we can make it through another one. We are not worthless because we all have a purpose in life. As long you are still breathing, you have a purpose to fulfill and the world needs you to fulfill it. When you feel like you are unlovable, remember that you have people around you that love you. But don't fall into the trap of relying on the love of others. We all know that people will let us down. Love has to begin from within us. We have to learn to love ourselves. We are never really alone. We live in such a connected world that there is always someone will be there. If you ever feel alone, and can't seem to find someone, get a hold of me. I will chat with you.

I believe that the best way to combat any form of bullying is to build self-confidence. We all have a breaking point, but the goal should be to make it stronger than it was yesterday. I believe that it is almost impossible to bully a person with a lot of self-confidence. If you are a person who needs to work on their self-confidence, don't be afraid to ask for help. Find a mentor, someone with a lot of self-confidence, and find out what has worked for them. Develop your weaknesses into strengths, develop your mind, body, and soul. When I began working on myself, the bullies in my life seem to fade away, including the bully in me. Sure, I can still get down on myself, in a manner that is bullying, but I know how to bounce back. You can only keep a person with strong self-confidence down for so long before they stand up and defend themselves.

Stop allowing others to bully you. Stop making yourself the victim of your own bullying. You are an amazing individual. Raise children that are strong with confidence. Raise your own self-confidence and become their example to live by. I believe that building self-confidence is the best anti-bullying tool available to us all. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.

Water In A Desert

 The desert teaches us what the water is for -Chase Reeves

I have walked many deserts alone. Some of that was of my own choosing and some of that was because I placed myself there and only I could get myself out. I know that our lives go in cycles and if I choose direct my attention towards it, I could find every reason to just sit down and live my days out in one of those deserts. However, I choose to direct my attention on the fact that I have already been through some pretty hot and dry deserts in my life's journey and I have made it through them all.

I am a fighter. I have always been the person who found a way to pick myself up and continue trekking to find that next oasis in the desert. I am a very strong emotional and spiritual person. I have had to learn to fight for everything that I have achieved in life. I have had to do it on my own so many times that it seems like that is all I know. I know that I will never let myself down. When it seems like days or weeks have went by and there has been not water in sight, I have always had the ability to find it within myself to keep going. It is almost like I have the resiliency of a camel in the desert.

I know that I am very opinionated and passionate about my convictions and I'll be damned if I am going to back down. Those who have taken the time to get to know me the best, know that having a person like me on your side, you are never alone. I don't give up on people easily and am willing to go into your desert with you and give you the very best direction that I can. We can find the water together despite the odds. I will stand by your side against all obstacles. I have been through deserts in my profession, relationships, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. So I have a lot to offer as a partner in the desert. 

When I have found water in the deserts of this journey in life, it is like no other water. It refreshes, quenches my thirst, and energizes me in my journey. If I had not been through the desert, I would not completely appreciate the water. Sometimes that water has been an encouraging word from a stranger, an encouraging word that I have been able to give to another(reminding me of my purpose in life), or maybe it has been a person being there to walk with me for a brief moment in my journey. No matter what form it has taken, I savor it like it will be my last drink. We have to be able to take in these moments(drinks) and be blessed by them. 

**Warning**
The next paragraph (in italics) is very blunt and to the point. Some might be offended. If you are easily offended please don't continue reading, just skip to the last paragraph.
I don't need anyone in my life. I have had to do so much on my own that I am okay keeping it that way. My strength doesn't come from anyone but it come from within me. It's not that I don't want people in my life, it's just that I am this strong because I have had to learn to do it on my own. I love the people around me and know that I am very blessed for having them in my life. Many of them have been there to encourage me but I understand that it was still me who got me out of the desert. The deserts that I must traverse are for me and no one else. I refuse to drag people into stuff that does not concern them. I also refuse to live in deserts that I have already been through. I will not live my life a victim and I do not need your sympathy. I got this and I will be better because of any desert that I go through.

As my life's journey is about to take me to another level and I am about to do some amazing things in my life, I am not crazy enough to think that there are not more deserts in my journey. I will be blessed by every once of water that I will be fortunate enough to have in those times. I will traverse this journey in life and become better because of it. Find your water when you are in the desert and never forget to pack a canteen. Pack those things that get you through tough times and be blessed by them. Know that you and only you can get you out of this desert but always be looking for guides along the way.

A quick side note: A couple of years ago I read the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is an amazing read and I would encourage everyone to read it.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.

Where Do You Stand?

I used to be one of those people who was so worried about what people thought of me. I would stress out about it so much that I would lose sleep, miss opportunities, and I ended up losing myself in the process. When I was in this, what seemed like a never ending cycle, I was so busy trying to please others that I wasn't pleasing to myself. Some of this might have been caused by a low self-esteem and self-image. I wanted to be liked by others so much and tried to be like them that I wasn't being me. This was detrimental to my well being and had all but stopped my ability to become the person that I was born to be. 

I'm not sure what that defining moment was, but I finally decided that trying to get people to like me was the wrong mind set and had to change. Through this process, I have lost those who I thought were friends, because they didn't like the "new me." I stand behind who I am and am willing to deal with the consequences. I make a decision and move on in life. Sure, I still make mistakes, and will apologize for them, but I'll be damned before I go back to a people pleasing mentality. I don't need for people to like me, I need to be me and those who need to be in my life will be come and those who don't will fall by the way side. 

Sometimes my decisions are unpopular, but in order to be a great leader, you have to be able to make tough decisions at the risk of criticisms. Nobody wants to follow an indecisive person. Be brave enough to make the decision and follow through with it. On the flip side of that, don't try to pass the buck when your stance has negative repercussions. You made the decision and you will need to handle to fall out from that decision, be it good or bad, with grace and dignity. 

For those who have really got to know me the past several years, know that I am a very direct person. If you don't know where you stand with me, ask me. But understand, I will not pull punches. I would rather tell you the truth and risk you being mad at me than lying to you and us going through life with that. The truth, most of the time, hurts bad, but it allows both of us the ability to move in a positive direction. What we do with the responsibility of that truth, is now in the hands of the individual. Ignore it and stay the same, or use it to make you better.

I have a friend that was going through a really rough patch in their life years ago. This person came to me time and time again with the same problems. Every time I would do what I could to direct them in a different direction, but they ended up right back in the same place. Finally, I had to have a heart to heart with them about this. I sat them down and explain to them that I was no longer going to be there for them concerning specific problems. Needless to say, they didn't take it very well. It was not easy for me to abandon a friend in need, but I get to a point that I get tired of wasting my breath. I told them that I would talk to them about anything else, but if they brought up these issues again, I would not discuss them. I no longer needed the weight that they kept trying to throw on me. It was time for them to carry the full load. This person thought that I was being an "ass." For awhile they didn't talk to me at all. What I was doing was, removing myself from being the constant life preserver, and forcing them to swim on their own. This person decided to tread water for awhile and finally learned to swim. It has been so great to see them swim in recent years.

A couple of final thoughts. 1) You need to know where you stand with you. Set your boundaries and don't allow anyone to cross them, including yourself 2) Don't lie to others just to keep someone in your life. Tell them the truth and deal with the consequences. When you lie, you have compromised your boundaries.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.

Beginning Again

In my last blog post, The Gambler, I talked about how I needed to go back to the beginning and start over. I have taken the opportunity to do just that. But not exactly the way I had planned. After talking to a new friend on facebook this past week, she reignited my desire to write my book. I've know for some  time now that I have wanted and needed to do this. However, I allowed myself to procrastinate it. So, I promised to her that I would begin working on my book today. I am proud to say that I have the rough drafts of the Preface and three chapters. This has been such and exhilarating and freeing experience. I've always known that I had a book in me, I was just being lazy. 

Parts of my book are coming from my blog posts, so I have been able to go back to the beginning of this journey and remind myself, why, I began in the first place. When I started this blog, it was to inspire others. Then I realized that it was also therapeutic for me as well. Now, this blog has once again transformed into something that I didn't see when I began. It is now the inspiration for my book and is like pouring fuel on the fire that got reignited earlier this week.

It feels really good to be able to go back and begin again. Only this time I get to do it with a fresh set of eyes and new knowledge to apply to it. I know that this restart of sorts, will only make me better. This restart isn't about failure, but about going back to the foundation that I started with. It's a chance to check for cracks that might have occurred over the past few years. It's a chance reacquaint myself with my passion again. I seem to have lost some focus and got some things distorted. I had lost some of my reason for this journey and got lost in results. This journey was never intended to be result driven, but rather about the opportunity to help others. I may have touched lives that I will never know about and I am okay with that. It's not about me, it's about helping others.

One final note. I am so thankful for the family and friends in my life. As much as I have tried to inspire and motivate them, many times they, without knowing, have done just that for me. Whether we know it or not, we are all living in a very interconnected universe. All of our actions or lack thereof, have an effect on others. Please remember this when you interact with others. We all have the chance to inspire change in another. We all know about being the change that we want to see in this world. Just make sure that we are showing it outwardly and allowing others to see it. Thank you to everyone that has been there in this journey and rest assured that things are once again looking up. I knew that this valley couldn't hold me for long. The view from the mountain top has been calling me, I just need that "kick in the butt" to begin my assent once again.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to be your very best.

The Gambler

I'm not a very good poker player, but it seems as of late, like I have been holding onto a hand that I should have long since folded. Sure there have been moments when it looked like maybe the cards were going to turn into my favor, but alas, luck didn't seem to be on my side. Then, out of the blue yesterday, I was reminded of this song.

Kenny Rogers the Gambler

"You gotta know when to hold'em."
"Know when to fold'em."
"Know when to walk away and know when to run."
"You never count your money, when you're sitting at the table, there time enough for counting, when the dealing is done."

I think that it's not that I have been dealt a junk hand, it's that I have just been playing the same hand over and over again, expecting a different result. A losing hand is a losing hand and a winning hand is a winning hand. No sense in playing the same hand over and over again. Learn from you wins and loses.

I have decided to go back to the beginning and reignite the core of why I do what I do. Maybe I had forgotten my true reason for beginning on this journey. Time to remind myself of my past, in a constructive way. It's not that I am dwelling on the past, but more of a motivation as to why I started this journey in the first place. Only this time, I have more knowledge and experience to build a better foundation. A reshuffling of the deck.

In my retail career, I've always tried to stay grounded in never forgetting where I came from. Remembering what it was like to be that part-time cashier/stocker working for minimum wage. I have always took pride in how relate-able I was to my employees because I never let my position go to my head. Time for me to reacquaint myself with my purpose. 

Time to stop worrying about results and concern myself with working on myself more and letting the cards fall where they may. There are obviously still glaring holes in my journey. Still things that I must learn and thing that I am good at but must become better. I enjoy my life's calling, but I have seemed to lost a part of my way recently. Time to retrace some steps and reflect on what it took to get me where I am today. Remember where I came from and set a reignited fire inside of me to blaze the next part of my journey.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to be your very best.

Dodging Lemons

A friend of mine recently post about life giving them lemons and they are tired of making lemonade. I know that we have all probably been in this kind of situation multiple times in our lives. I know I have. It seems like no matter what we do, another lemon is thrown our way. We look ahead and can see the light at the end of the tunnel and, WHAM, out of no where comes another lemon, knocking us back to where we can no longer see the end of the tunnel. This vicious cycle can weaken us physically and mentally and cause depression.

We get warn out dodging all the lemons we can, only to be blind-sided by one we didn't expect. These kind of struggles feel more like we are winning the occasional battle but still losing he war. For the first few days or maybe even weeks, we are able to still hold our head high and keep our spirits up. But a continual barrage of lemons will eventually begin to get the better of us. The only words of advice that I have for you at that moment is to not give up. This is probably not the first time that you have been in this situation and you didn't give up last time, so why give up now? You are stronger and better prepared for it this time whether you realize it or not. 

I have friends that say, when life hands you lemons, add vodka and throw a party. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and put the lemons and life into perspective. Will some of these things that are happening right now mean anything next week, next month, or even next year? We get so caught up trying to dodge lemons, that we just take on anything coming our way. We have to pick our battles. Not everything that comes our way is worth our physical or mental efforts. What is important now? What can wait. We are not designed to take on more then we can handle and yet we allow ourselves to get into that situation because we take on stuff that really isn't that important. Also, be careful not to take on the lemons that aren't even yours. Don't allow others to pile their lemons into your basket. 

Pick your battles, dodge lemons that aren't important now, and deal with only the lemons that are truly yours. If you need to step away and gain some perspective, do it. It will only benefit you and those around you. A lot of the time, when you come back with some perspective, you will find that some of the lemons are gone. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to be your very best.

Results Or The Lack Of

"Don't attach your happiness to results and don't attach your unhappiness to the lack of results." -Dan Clark

Okay, so I'm not sure how this post is going to go but I really feel that I need to share this. The above quote is something that come to me yesterday as I was talking to my very good friend, Michael. Michael and I have a very cool friendship and he has an amazing soul. He and I share so many of the same beliefs about out journey here on Earth. Thank you, Michael for being that catalyst to my epiphany from the universe.

Most of us know that our happiness doesn't dwell in the acquisition of things. We will never truly be happy by a bigger house, newer car, younger spouse, richer spouse, new job, and so on. These things can give us a false sense of happiness but it quickly fades and we are back where we started. The only way we can truly be happy is to learn to be happy with ourselves. We need to be the reason for our happiness. I think that I have shared this before but, people look at me weird when I tell them that my wife doesn't make me happy. I make me happy. My happiness is all on my shoulders. My responsibility. The people and things in my life can only make me happier. My wife makes me happier. This is something that I really learned and began living a year or so ago and my life really changed.  Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of "When I get this then I will be happy" or "When this happens I will be happy." It is a very slippery slope that will cause you a lot of misery. We know about "Being the change that we want to see in the world", well, be the happiness that you wish to see in the world. And it starts and ends with you.

I realized, when I was talking with Michael yesterday about the "slump" that I have been in, that I had been attaching my unhappiness to the lack of results without even realizing it. Sure, I would have rather not went through what I went through but I am thankful for the lesson. I was getting depressed because I wasn't seeing certain results show up in my life. I was asking, "Why isn't this happening for me?" and "Where is my opportunity?". This had become very toxic in my life without me even realizing that I was doing it. I had allowed the lack of results to create unhappiness in my spirit. I kept looking outside of me for answers when the real answers are already within me. As toxic as attaching your happiness to things outside of you, attaching my unhappiness to the lack of results was slowing killing me inside. So, like happiness beginning and ending with you, so does your unhappiness.

I can honestly say that the past couple of weeks have been some of the toughest I have faced in some time spiritually. Now that I am aware of what was happening, I can fix it and move on. I am pretty excited to see where this new epiphany will take me. This "slump" is now behind me and it's time to move forward once again. It's time to once again shine. If this or that doesn't happen, it will not change my out look or happiness level. The bar has once again been raised and I am stronger because of this storm. Turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Lieutenant Dan and the Storm

The link below is to the scene from Forest Gump when Lt. Dan rides out the storm from the mast of the shrimp boat. Not sure why I have been having problem adding a video to my posts. But click on it anyway. :)

http://youtu.be/8ZH9ebAZouk


"Sometimes you just have to wait until the storm passes. Action is not required, only standing strong as the winds howl, the thunder cracks, the lightening strikes, and the down pours of rain. It wasn't a storm of proving what you can accomplish but rather a test of will. Can you be faithful with what you have been given before you are blessed with more? Bring on the rainbow and clearer skies. Life is about feeling blessed through it all."

The above statement is what I post in facebook on September 12th. I wish I could explain what has been going on in my mind. I am feeling fine physically, mentally, and spiritually, but I'm not sure what is going on emotionally. I just can't seem to shake this slump that I have been in. I have taken time for myself, read motivational books, listen to positive music/speeches, and even watched transformational videos, but nothing is working. I am beginning to wonder if I have sent the wrong message to my ego. Now when I say ego, I am talking about the part of us that is of flesh and blood not that part of us that is spirit. Maybe there is some confusion on my ego's part, but I'm not going any where. I was born with the gift to reach people and for me to go back to denying it, is just not going to happen. I have said time and time again that I would speak and coach if I never got paid because it is a part of who I am. I do it because denying it is leading a life less lived. Been there, done that, and I prefer my life with it in my life a lot more than I do without it. That is how I know that it is what I am supposed to do. You call it a hobby, a dream, a "thing" I do, or what ever you want, the point is, it is a part of who I am. You wouldn't just cut off your pinky toes because you think they are useless, they are a part of you. You keep them because they are a part of who you are, they are a part of your identity. 

I know that through this storm in my life, that maybe the most important things that I can do is just stand strong. When we act out of desperation, we are reacting according to out desire to be liked and accepted by others. I want to act because it is the right thing to do. If that means that inactivity is what is right, for the moment, then so be it. I have tied myself to the mast of this ship of speaking and coaching during this storm and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that once this storm is over, I will come out of it still attached to this mast. I may have some battle scars but the scars will be there to remind me that I fought an won. Not out of stubbornness but out of commitment and desire to not quit. I have been a quitter before and I have the bad taste that it leaves. The taste of success is worth whatever I may have to go through. 

I will continue to be faithful with what I have been given up to this point. I will not turn tail and run. I now understand that my legacy is at stake. My identity and reputation will not be tarnish because I chose to give up. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

 

Breadcrumbs

Wow, it's hard to believe that it has been two weeks since my last blog post. I have had a lot of ups and downs the past couple of weeks. The good news is, my downs aren't near as low as they used to be a couple of years ago. This blog is going to be a continuation of sorts since my last post. I am still in kid of a funk. My mind has been really been playing with my emotions. I feel like a tree just trying to weather the storm. Just in case the doubt that has any questions, I'm not going anywhere. I know that my choice to pursue my passion to speak is what is right for me. This doubt that keeps on crashing in has had me in a place that I really don't like. I know that fighting it, only gives it more attention. I have chosen to acknowledge it's presence and just stand strong like that tree in a storm. This tree will bend, might lose some leaves, maybe even a limb or two, but when this storm passes, I WILL BE STRONGER. I refuse to give in to this doubt. 

So back on September 4, 2013, I posted this on facebook:

Just because you are feeling down, doesn't mean you shut down.When you shut down, you are not receptive to what the universe is telling you. When things are going rough, the universe will drop you a bread crumb to remind you to not to give up and that you are on the right path. Thank you universe for that today.

This post was the day after I had a really tough day internally. The responses that I received, both publicly and in private, from this post confirmed my resolve to stand strong. The universe has tossed me a breadcrumb earlier that day to remind me that my message is needed. A friend of mine told me that she had not forgotten about me and was still planning on having me speak for her organization. I really needed to hear those words that day and the universe knew that I needed it. I am truly grateful for everything in my life, both past and present. My impatience is probably fuel for some of these doubts. Impatience has been something that I have battled with my whole life. 

You might be wondering why, once again, I am sharing what seems like a less than motivational post. One thing that I have tried to pride myself in is that I am an authentic person. I'm not going to hide behind a mask that isn't true to me. I have nothing to gain from being fake, but everything to gain by being authentic with all of you. Even as a person who always seems positive, I have my times of struggle and I'm not afraid to share them with you. If this post does have a message within it, it's this:

Stand strong within the storm. Use this time to come out of the storm better and stronger than before. Be aware when a breadcrumb is thrown your way from the universe. It will let you know when you are on the right path.

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Frustrations and Fears

Sometimes, I feel the need to share something personal. This happens to be one of those moments. The last couple of days, I have been feeling a little off. I know that I am not in the correct mental state that I should be in. I get in the kind of funk from time to time. I'm not sure what triggers it, but I know that it doesn't last. We all have struggles that present themselves from time to time. Some tougher than others. I'm not afraid nor intimidated by what life throws at me. Do I like this feeling, no, but I know that I am bigger than this funk that I am in.I understand that my frustrations come from within me. I am impatience, I don't think that things are happening as fast as I want them to. I have moments when I feel like I am not progressing like I should be in my speaking and coaching career. Every time that I have thought that I have made connections that you help me down that path, they have all ended up as a dead in, so far. I know that I cannot place my success on the coattails of others. I'm not asking for a hand out, I am looking for a hand up. The old saying goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I feel like this student is ready, where is the teacher. I need to know what the next step should be. I can only read so many books, which I don't mind doing, but there is a point where I need hands-on experience. Sure, I have created those opportunities, but when will doors open for me, instead of me creating those doors and opening them? I also get frustrated with people. I know that I can't control them, I can only control my actions and emotions. I have has people say that they support me and yet their actions say otherwise. I know that I am suppose to concentrate on what I love and not what loves me, but my ego sometimes gets the better part of me. It's not that I am giving up. Since I began this journey of personal development, almost four years ago, I have lived a better life than I ever have. More happiness, love, joy, and contentment that I have ever had. I love my life and wouldn't change where I am right now for anything else. I know that things can only get better from here. So you might be asking yourself why would I post what seems like a depressing blog, but I believe that sometimes we need to be real about our emotions. I'm not lashing out at anyone or any thing. I am merely coming face to face with my fears and frustrations. I have done this before and it usually is a very cleansing experience. Being transparent with ourselves will help us dealt with so many issues. I went to a conference back in July and they talked about sharing your feelings with an empty chair. Sounds weird, but try it some time. When we are transparent with ourselves, it is easier to be transparent with others and that is so key in being authentic in a world of fake people. The world is hungry for authentic truth and it begins with individuals. As I continue my journey, I will probably have more moments like this, but I will persevere. I refuse to go back to a life of mediocrity, allowing outside forces determine how I should. I refuse to go back to living my life by default. I will traverse each and every mountain put in my way, and find my way to the top and enjoy every step of the way. The view from the top may be spectacular, but there are still flowers, streams, and beauty along the way. 

Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your very best.

Fundamental Answers To Fundamental Questions

Have you ever had an inspired thought? Have you ever did something that gave you a sense of happiness unlike anything you have ever done and you get that feeling every time that you have done it since? Is there something that when you thing about it, just puts a smile on your face? How about something that you can talk about for hours with a complete stranger because you are so passionate about it? Would you do that thing for the rest of your life, even if you never got paid to do it, just because you enjoy it so much? What ever that thing is, is probably what you were put on this earth to do. That thing is most likely your true calling. Many of us have allowed life to get in the way and not pursuing our true calling. I'm not saying that you are wrong for doing that, I too have fell into that trap. I ignored what I loved doing for that sake of "making end meet", "doing the responsible thing", or what ever was convenient at the time. Until about three years ago, I had lost myself in a life of conformity and ignoring what really makes me intrinsically happy. I have come to realize that there are options in this life. Here is something that I realized during my meditation last night and I thought that I would share it with you. When you figure out what it is that you really desire to do in life because of the happiness that it bring to you and others, I am going to answer the six most important questions about that thing for you. So here it goes:

WHO? So this is the most obvious answer, it's you. It is up to you to make you happy. It is up to you to create the life that you have imagined. It's up to you put make the changes to change your life. It's up to you to put in the work. Sure, you will need some help along the way, don't worry about that, it will take care of it's self when the time is right.

WHAT? Define exactly what it is that you want to accomplish. It doesn't mean that things won't change along the way, but you have to have a starting point. Very few people build a house with blue-prints that they have approved and don't make changes along the way. Your passion will be the same. But, just get your starting reference point.

WHEN? Now! There is no better to begin your journey than today. No one said that you had to complete your journey today, but you must begin today. Even baby steps are a greater distance closer than doing nothing. Your baby steps today, compound in their effect in the future if you just stay on that path.

WHERE? There is no magical place to start. It is never too early or too late in life. Your passion has no geographical preference. People have began their journey from all over the world and still achieved greatness. Big city, country town, East coast, West coast, it makes no difference. Just begin from where you are right now.

WHY?  Don't you want to be happy? I'm not talking about for an hour, a day, or a week, I'm talking about a lifetime full of happiness. It's been said, that one of the greatest ways to combat depression is to be inspired. Your passion inspires and excites you. So maybe the better question is, why not? There is no downside to living up to the potential that you were put on this earth to fulfill.

HOW? I used to get so caught up on this one. It probably has to do with the fact that I am such an analytical thinker. I am always thinking of how I will accomplish a task(manager mode). I have come to realize that it really isn't any of my business how this will happen. I was given a passion and my only responsibility to it is to use it. When I let go of worrying about the how, life became so much easier and doors that I would have never even thought of have opened to me. But, I have to let go of the control factor.

In closing, I just want to let you know that I believe in you. I have seem some amazing transformations in people who started being authentic to their calling in life. Stop allowing fear freeze you in your tracks and keep you stuck in less then you were designed to be.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Don't Work Too Hard?

I don't know if it's just a Midwest thing or not but many people use the phrase, "Don't work too hard" as a part of their goodbye. I have probably even used this phrase, but as of late it has stuck a chord with me. Are people telling me to not work so hard that I kill myself or just to literally not work too hard? If they are telling me not work so hard that I injury or kill myself, thanks for the reminder. I don't think that I exude that kind of effort. I have been told that I make my job look easy. I credit that to the fact that I have been in retail for almost 24 years and all but 6 years of that in management. So if people are literally telling me, "Don't work too hard", my questions for them would then be, "Why not."  This is my life and no one is going to create the kind of life that I want to live. It my responsibility to work my ass off in my life. This world doesn't owe me anything, I owe me my best. That means, that if I don't do the work, the world will not hand me the life that I desire. Only I can determine what I want my life to look like or how I want it to feel. I understand that I will stumble and fall, but that will make me appreciate it more. Other people will hurt me along the way, but this will teach me forgiveness. Things will not happen as soon as I want, this will teach me patience. Things will happen that I didn't expect, this will teach me wisdom. Because of all of this, I will become who I was created to be, but only if I "work too hard." I believe in applying blood, sweat, and tears into my life. Because of this, I will be stronger. I will learn to adapt, improvise, and overcome any situation to become my very best. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, "If it's to be, it's up to me." I can't go back and change what has been done, but today I can make the changes to create a new ending. If things haven't been going the way you intended, dare to take the control of your life back from anything or anyone that you have been allowing to control your life. You will not achieve you best by default, you must "work too hard." Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Work, work, and then work some more. Begin today!

Check out the song Unity by Shinedown before you go. I put the link at the bottom but I don't know if it will work. I believe that the song was written about a lost love, but what if that lost love was your authentic you. The you that you have been dreaming of being? 

http://youtu.be/-Yq6upZ5DXo


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

It's Just An Apple

So let's just get this out of the way first. If have never ate a Pink Lady Apple, stop reading this blog, go buy one, come back to this blog, and finish reading this blog while enjoying your apple. Pink Lady apples are awesome.

"You can see the seeds in an apple, but you can't see the apples in a seed."

All to often, we get so caught up on only what we can see. We see only what the world has told us to see in ourselves. We shape our beliefs based upon what we were taught and by what society has told us to believe. Let's face it, we live in a very superficial world. It's all about the outward appearance. The clothes we wear, the house we live in, the car we drive, and the list goes on and on. We grow up in a world where we are told what to think and because of this reason, we put a lot of faith in what others tell us about us. However, deep down, we have always known that there is more to life. But for some reason, we drown out that inner voice because it doesn't line-up with what society would have us to believe about us. 

Guess what, you were born with that inner truth about you. It is a part of your DNA and spirit. Most of us have not even begun to live up to the life that we were destined to live because we have allowed outside forces to cram us into their box called "normal." What is inside of us is far greater than what we can ever imagine. Inside of us are seeds of greatness coated in potential. To many have gone to their death bed with potential still screaming to be released. What are we waiting for? The time will NEVER be perfect to begin by the standards of our programming. Begin now. I firmly believe in doing what you can, where you are, with what you have. Begin and the universe will begin helping you. After all, the universe gave you this greatness. It's just waiting for you to have some faith and begin.

What are we scared of? Are you afraid of failure? You will never accomplish anything in life worth achieving without some failures along the way. None of us walked perfectly the first time we tried and yet we kept at it, even though we continuously failed, until we got it right. Why should our perspective be any different towards what we know we should be doing? I would encourage you to take a good look inside of you. Not with the eyes in which society has tainted but with the eyes of clarity that you were born with. The kind of eyes that see the beauty in every moment in life. Don't be afraid to be completely honest with yourself. Just open yourself to any and all possibilities. Dare to see the potential of the seeds of greatness that are in you. Look past what you think is possible and begin to have faith in the impossible. Refuse to die with potential within you. After all, what do you have to lose?

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Perspective...

When you are in a good mood, you can make anything happen. Ever notice, that when you are in a really good mood the world seems to toss more good your way? Maybe you feel that that rarely happens to you. How about this, when you are having a crappy day, the world seems to toss more crap your way? Does that seem to fit your life better? The thing is, our lives are all about perspective. If we perceive that everything that happens in our life is crappy, then guess what, that is all that we will see. And the opposite is true. If we perceive our life to be amazing, that is what we will see. Have you ever purchased, let's say a different car. Think about how many you saw on before you thought about buying that kind of car. How many did you start to see once you had decided on what kind of car you were going to buy? After you bought the car, how many do you start seeing? Perspective. It's not that, all of a sudden, more of those cars just appeared on the road. Most of them we probably already there, you just didn't notice them. But now that your perception changed and was tuned into that kind of car, you saw more. The same thing is true in life. When we change our perception about life and what we tune into, we begin to see more of that. So doesn't it make sense to tune into what we want more of in life? I always find it interesting, that the people who complain the most about the drama in their live are usually the one who talk the most about it, not only the drama in their own life but the drama in other people's lives. There perception and focus is on drama. We can dwell on the things that we see as struggles in life and go through life thinking that life is just one big struggle. Or we can shift our perception about life and choose to focus on all the good in our lives. When we change our perception to love, gratitude, and miracles we are able to see more of those things in our lives. We are able to change our stumbling blocks into stepping stones merely by changing our perception. Our test into a testimony and so forth. I would encourage you to, the next time life seems to have handed you what seems to be a crappy day, to change your perspective and start looking for the things that you want more of in your life. For what we focus on, is what we will receive more of in our life.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

A Dirty Little Secret

For those of you that don't know, I went to Los Angeles last weekend for "The Kyle Cease Weekend Experience: A 3 Day Escape From Mediocrity." I went, knowing that this could be a life changing experience, but I didn't give it perimeters. I didn't want to put what I thought might happen into a box and look for only that. I wanted to keep an open mind and more importantly, my heart and soul open to infinite possibilities. I was completely blown away. I left that weekend with a new and better understanding of who I am and what I have to offer in this life. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about all of the experiences that I had at this getaway but just so you know, you will be hearing more about this in the weeks to come. 

I wanted to take this opportunity to share my biggest epiphany from this event. It was nothing in-particular that was said and it actually came towards the end of day 2(Saturday). I realized that I had been keeping a dirty little secret. I am now going to share that secret with you. My secret is that I have been leading a double life. I have been living as a retail store manager to the public at large. All the while hiding my true passion and desire. Sure, some of you know that I have done some speaking and life coaching. But I have hidden that passion and desire from most of the public. Why? I'm not completely sure. It could be because I was afraid of what others might think. Maybe I was afraid of failure. Maybe it was because I felt more security in keeping it a secret and only sharing it with those who I knew wouldn't judge me if I never made it into a full-time business. Now don't get me wrong, I like what I do as a retail store manager and I've been told that I am really good at it. Maybe, I am afraid of just taking a leap without knowing where or how I will land.  Here is what I realized while on my weekend experience, it doesn't matter. This job is currently paying my bills and taking care of my family. However, make no mistake about it. My passion for speaking and coaching will come to it's fullest potential. I am now giving myself no other option. My new friend, Glenn Morshower, said it like this, "It's like you are at the lake fishing, you are just waiting on the bigger fish."Glenn said that he had to work as a waiter until his acting career really took off. He had bills to pay and a family to take care of. I have been through what I have been through in my life and there is no turning back. I can sit here all day because I know that that fish will eventually take the bait. I have taken my "dirty little secret" and I am now shouting it from the mountain top. I am making daily strides to help the process along. How or when it will happen I don't know and that isn't really any of my concern. I will leave that up to the universe and I will just keep myself out there and stop hiding my true nature. After all, why would I want to hide something that gives me such an intrinsic happiness from the world and save it for just a few. The world needs to hear my story and it will.

One last thing, as many of you know, I write this blog weekly. However, I will be posting some videos on AIAO Life Coaching facebook page that will be exclusive content for those of you who would like to see it. This content will be more intense than my usual blog, but it's time that I share other stuff with you.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comment.
Facebook: AIAO Life Coaching
Twitter: @danclark72
Email: AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com

Wind Beneath My Wings

I am sure that many of you both new to this blog and those of you who have know me for years, might be wondering, "Why is it I do what I do?" I have had a pretty successful career in retail and retail management. I make a decent living for me and my family. We don't have all the best stuff in the world. We don't live in the nicest home. We don't drive the fanciest cars. So, what's with all the motivational facebook and twitter posts? Why do you write this blog? The reason is simple, I want to give back to others like people have given to me. In a world dominated by social media, what better way to do just that. I didn't have a horrible childhood. Sure, I have shared some of my struggles with you in the past, but all-in-all I think I had a pretty normal up-bringing. I've had and still do have obstacles to overcome. That it just a part of life. But at one of the hardest points in my life, I had a couple of friends take me under their wings. They showed me that, even in my struggles, I had more potential that I realized. They show me to the path of self-confidence and self-esteem. They poured their hearts and souls into me and became the wind beneath my wings. Hell, at times, I didn't even know that I had wings, let alone being able to fly. When I have needed a word of encouragement the most, random people seem to have appeared in my life. Maybe for a moment, maybe for years, but someone has always been there. That is why I do what I do. When you are having a bad day and you check your facebook or twitter, I want to encourage you. I want to be the wind beneath your wings. And those days that you can't even feel your wings, I want to remind you that you have wings and will fly again soon. When you feel like the world has turned it's back on you, I want you to know that I haven't. For those who have helped me along the way, words cannot express my deep gratification for all that you have done in my life. Whether it's in a twitter or facebook post, a blog post, or in a speech that I have given, I hope that I can inspire you to make a difference in your own life. That is why I do what I do and I do it because I love doing it. I will make a difference in this my world and hopefully yours.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

facebook: Dan Clark
facebook page: AIAO Life Coaching
twitter: @danclark72
Email: AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com

Buying vs. Investing

I had the day off and decided that my car is long over due for a bath and a good waxing. So I got up this morning and went to the store to buy some wax. First of all, the selection have went way down since I last purchased car wax .Secondly, I wonder how many people do this any more by hand any more. One of the lessons that I learned from my Mom and Grandpa, was how to was a vehicle by hand. I remember spend hours on Saturday cleaning and waxing our cars when I was a kid. Sure it was hard work, but it was time well spent with my Mom and an investment into my life and the life of my vehicle. We have no problem doing house or car repairs, because it is protecting our investment. Just like we go to the doctor when something isn't right with our bodies. But why do we procrastinate going the extra mile in taking care of our investments? Many times it's the little things that we ignore that cost us the most in the end. We have to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirits. We cannot neglect these things, we do, bad things happen. Even though I don't agree the how disposable our society has become, things can be replaced, we only get one shot with our bodies, minds, and spirits. Why do we justify and rationalize why we can't read that book, go to that seminar, or get on a exercise routine? I believe that everything needs to be in moderation, but none it not moderation. I still love to have fun and enjoy a good party from time to time. I enjoy junk food. But I have to watch my intake because I know that these kinds of things are addictive to me. I splurged and had a Cherry Mash candy bar today and boy was it YUMMY. I still think that DQ needs to make it into a blizzard flavor. But back to the subject. Don't put off taking care of yourself. Stop just buying stuff and things that create temporary happiness and invest in creating lasting happiness in you. In just over a week from today, I am flying to Los Angeles to participate in a conference. Yes, we had the money for it. Sure we had to cut out some stuff to make it happen. But I understand that it is an investment into me. When I apply the things that I have learned at the conference, will be an investment into those that I love. You will never find the time to invest, you will have to make the time. You will never have the money, something else will come up. Investments require sacrifice. Make the sacrifice. You don't expect your investment into your 401k to make it possible to retire at 30. It's a long term investment. You should look at it the same way when you are investing in you. It's a long term investment and very well worth the wait. Now go out there and put some sweat equity into your life, like I did on my car today, and watch your life begin to change.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big.

Find me on facebook: AIAO Life Coaching
                  twitter: @danclark72

Consentual Slavery?

Consentual slavery, it seem like it would be impossible. You may not know it, but we are all consentual slaves. We are slaves to our thoughts and actions. In one way or another, our lives are controlled by either our thoughts, actions, or both. What we think is very powerful, however, the control of our thoughts end where our actions begin if they are not in alignment. Our actions can control our thoughts if we are not careful. We, all too often, walk a tightrope between thought and action. Stress, drama, anxiety, and depression are just some of the things that you will have to deal with when your thoughts and action are not in alignment. We will tell ourselves that we are frustrated with a situation in our lives and yet go out and repeat that exact same behavior that got us into our situation. That makes us a slave to our actions. We will go out and act upon a situation in our lives, and yet we tell ourselves that we aren't worthy of a different life. That makes us a slave to our thoughts. We cannot live lives, successfully, where our thoughts and actions are in constant conflict. To live a life with minimal stress, drama, and anxiety, our thoughts and actions must be in alignment. We deserve to live a life full of happiness and one where we confidently pursue our life's purpose. You will forever be depressed as long as you keep your thoughts and actions as polar opposites. I have been on all three sides of this battle. I have lived a life where from the outside looking in, everything was spectacular. I had a great family life, a good job, and friends, but the things that I was telling myself were anything buy positive. I was enslaving myself by my limiting thoughts. I had a low self-image and low self-esteem. I was miserable. I have also, lived my life where my thoughts we where they needed to be, but my actions were not taking me to the life I envisioned. I was cynical, manipulative, and only cared about how my actions would benefit me. Then there is how I live my life today. My thoughts and actions are in alignment. My self talk is about how I want to live my life and my actions back that up. I live a life with way less stress, drama, and anxiety. It's not a life free of these things, but I now control the amount of them in my life and how I will deal with them. Sure there are some things in my life that I want to change, but I am patient enough to give it time to happen and willing to put in the work to help make it happen. Are your thoughts and actions in alignment, or are you a consentual slave to them? I am still a consentual slave to my thoughts and actions, but I am not in a constant battle between them. I know that my thoughts and actions will take me where I want to go in life. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big