Successful don't ask what's wrong with something, they ask what's right with it. -Eric Thomas
When we begin to take a close, hard, and honest look at our life, we tend to justify why we do some of the things we do and some of the people in our circle. Being honest with ourselves is hard because we begin to realize that we need to let go of some things and people and letting go is tough. The reason that letting go is so hard is because in order to let go, we are letting go of what has become comfortable in our life. Real change seems to only happen when we let go of what is not adding value to our lives.
When we evaluate what is holding us back in life, we tend to ask, "What is wrong with_______?" This is just us justifying why to hold on to that thing or person. What is wrong with going to the bar every weekend? What is wrong with watching my shows? All these questions are doing, is allowing us an excuse to hold onto these things that are comfortable to us, even though they are holding us back. We deserve better things and people in our life and yet we hold onto the very things that are hurting us.
It's time to change our line of questioning. We need to ask what is right with these people and things. Are they really adding value to our lives? What's right with going to the bar every weekend? What's right with spending so much time watching your shows? Sure, this takes some brutal honest with ourselves and that can be tough. Don't be afraid of this line of questioning. Stop trying to to place a value on what you will gain, it's an unknown value. We can only know the value of what we are losing because it has been a part of our life. The value of what will enter our lives when we let go of what is not adding to our lives cannot be determined because we have not ever had it. Stop allowing yourself the luxury of comfort, time to get uncomfortable and grow.
Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best because you deserve it.
I really enjoy watching the show Undercover Boss. The fact that a corporate executive takes the time to go out in to the field and see, first hand, what the front line is really like. They get an opportunity to see if their initiatives are or are not working. They get to see the everyday struggles and triumphs of their employees. I think that every corporate executive should have to go out into field for at least a week every year. They have to leave the office behind and spend a week working hand in hand with the associates who made the company run their day to day operations. I think that they would get a better perspective as to how their company really works.
The majority of this post will be from my perspective as an hourly employee and as a salary manager. I know that I have no clue all the struggles that occur at the corporate office, I can only comment from my own personal experiences. I am sure that I could gain a new respect for the jobs of a corporate executive if I spent some time at a corporate office. I know that their job, like mine, can be very difficult at times. I am sure that things happen at the hourly associate level that creates a major headache for them. Many of these headaches probably could have been avoided, had the associate just followed the policies already in place. But, the corporate executive is now having to clean up the mess.
So here it goes, my view of the corporate office from my personal experiences in retail. There seems to be a huge disconnect between corporate offices and it's employees that work in the field daily. Corporate executives seem to keep rolling out new ideas and policies without completely investigating the effects on the associates. It sometimes seems like, some of these ideas/ policies are rolled out just to justify someone's job in the office. Here is a new ideas/policy, now make it happen. Maybe it's just my analytical mind, but there always seems to be so many problems with most of these roll outs. I am sure that they sometimes do trial runs in select stores, but how much do they listen to the opinions of those doing the "test run"? Or are they just saying, "Here is the idea, make it happen."? I agree with doing test runs, however, those in the field should have the best perspective as to how well it will work out and what needs to be adjusted.
Every company that I have worked for says that their associates are their most valuable asset and yet they treat us like we are mere side notes to sales and profits. Sure we are valued, valued to be puppets on strings to do their bidding to make the company money. They will talk about turn over as a problem and yet they don't implement programs or train leaders how to reduce turn over. I believe that the biggest cause of turn over is that the associates don't feel appreciated. I am convinced that if an associate feels valued, they will stay with that employer, even if it means less pay than they can get elsewhere. People are motivated by feeling like they are a part of something bigger than their selves. Sure money helps, but it's not the biggest determining factor in an employee staying with a company. What is a company doing to make their associates feel valued? The company that I currently work for, several years ago, took away the music playing in our stores. From what I can figure out, it was to reduce costs. I understand that, but I would be willing to give up part of my annual profit sharing bonus to have music back in my store. Not only would I appreciate it, but so would the associates and customers. Not every decision to protect the bottom line is the right decision.
I am just guessing, but I would venture to bet that if you ask most associates, "What is your employer's mission statement?", they would have no clue. Mission statements have value at a corporate level but are meaningless to the average employee. If you take an interest in your associates, your associate will take an interest in the corporate office. Leadership is not about your mission statement, it is about people. Sure a leader needs to be that vision statement, but if that leader doesn't see people as valuable human beings but sees them as replaceable parts, all is lost. People are the key to success, not a mission statement. In the book, "The One-Minute Manager" it talks about being the kind of manager that you would want to work for. How many corporate executives are the kind of corporate executives that they would want to work for? Just because we are all replaceable, doesn't mean that we have to be treated as such. We should not be treated as expendable parts, but as human beings.
So, I know that it has sounded like I have done nothing but vent about my career, but it's not really the case. I enjoy the career that I have chosen. I have had the privilege to work for some wonderful district and regional managers. Managers that actually care about their associates. I have been in the retail world for over 20 years and I have seen the value of associates diminish over the years. I have always tried to make my associates feel valued and like a part of a family. I have little to no turn over because I don't see them as replaceable parts, but as human beings. Sure, I still have to write people up for failure for follow company policies, but they also know that they have forced my hand for me to do so when they refuse to correct their actions. Leadership is about people following those who make them feel valued and important. I have always tried to do just that, and so far I have been pretty successful.
***To Corporate Executives***
- Get out in the field and see what the front lines are really like
- Listen to those who are on the front lines
- Be the kind of corporate executive that you would want to work for
- Care more about people than a mission statement
Adapt, Improvise,And Overcome to become your best.
With so much attention on bullying these days, I thought that I would share my perspective on it. I know that some of what I am about to share might not be popular with everyone, but this is just my perspective. I have some understanding into this epidemic. I was bullied as a child and have even been as an adult. I know the scars that it has left on me emotionally. I know the effects that is had on my childhood and how I carried it into my adulthood. These scars affected my self-confidence and self-image.
I am also aware of the effects that it can have on a family, when a person decides to take their own life due to the abuse that they receive from bullies. This tragic end, is rarely the results of a first time being bullied. Usually this is the choice made by someone who has been bullied for an extended period of time. Being bullied, wears you down to the point that, all too often, suicide seems like the only way out. If you are contemplating this option, please talk to someone about it. This is not your only option. There are people around you that are there to help you because they care and love you very much.
I want to address another version of bullying. This, I believe, is the worst kind of bullying. It is the bullying of ourselves. How can we bully ourselves? The most common way is our self talk. We tell ourselves that we are a loser, worthless, unlovable, and alone. None of these things are true and yet we choose to only listen to these very hurtful words from ourselves. Our confidence begins and ends with us, and these kinds of beliefs about ourselves, ruin our self-esteem. We are not losers, we have made it this far and can keep going. We have all had struggles in life and made it through them, we can make it through another one. We are not worthless because we all have a purpose in life. As long you are still breathing, you have a purpose to fulfill and the world needs you to fulfill it. When you feel like you are unlovable, remember that you have people around you that love you. But don't fall into the trap of relying on the love of others. We all know that people will let us down. Love has to begin from within us. We have to learn to love ourselves. We are never really alone. We live in such a connected world that there is always someone will be there. If you ever feel alone, and can't seem to find someone, get a hold of me. I will chat with you.
I believe that the best way to combat any form of bullying is to build self-confidence. We all have a breaking point, but the goal should be to make it stronger than it was yesterday. I believe that it is almost impossible to bully a person with a lot of self-confidence. If you are a person who needs to work on their self-confidence, don't be afraid to ask for help. Find a mentor, someone with a lot of self-confidence, and find out what has worked for them. Develop your weaknesses into strengths, develop your mind, body, and soul. When I began working on myself, the bullies in my life seem to fade away, including the bully in me. Sure, I can still get down on myself, in a manner that is bullying, but I know how to bounce back. You can only keep a person with strong self-confidence down for so long before they stand up and defend themselves.
Stop allowing others to bully you. Stop making yourself the victim of your own bullying. You are an amazing individual. Raise children that are strong with confidence. Raise your own self-confidence and become their example to live by. I believe that building self-confidence is the best anti-bullying tool available to us all.
Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome to become your best.
