How Did YOU Make YOU Feel Today?

I was reading in a book this evening and was reminded of a quote, from Maya Angelou, that I have read many times over but I saw it in a different light.

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them fee."

While I believe that this is an awesome quote and should be at the forefront of our minds daily, for some reason, I realized another application of it.

"I've learned that I will forget what I said, I will forget what I did, but I will never forget how I made me feel." 

Our self talk is probably the most damaging or empowering part of our lives. It's said that within our words are life and death. What we tell ourselves controls our actions. Sure we can go against our words, but most of the time it is only a temporary situation. "I am NOT going on that roller-coaster!" But sure enough, we give in and go. "I will never get back into a relationship with him/her. Next week we are posting on facebook how in lover we are with that very person. It's not that we are indecisive, it's just that our true nature, the things that we have repeatedly told ourselves, eventually make their way to the surface. We have programmed ourselves through what we tell ourselves. We end up going on that roller-coaster because deep down we know that it will probably be fun. We end up back in that bad relationship because we don't think that we will be able to find anyone else. We have the ability to breathe life and death into our lives. What kind of person do you truly desire to be? Tell yourself about you as that person. Sure it sounds weird to start, but the fact of the matter is, it works. Is there a bad habit that you want to change? Tell yourself about what your life will look like without that habit. When we are trying to move away from the negative things in our life, we have to replace them with a positive or, chances are, one bad habit will be replaced by another bad habit. 

Before you fall asleep tonight, tell yourself about all the positive things that happened in your life today. You may have some days that all you can think of is how you got that parking spot closest to the door at the grocery store. Take what you can everyday. Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, tell yourself about all the positive things that you will accomplish today. Begin to breathe life into your life and stop yourself from breathing death to the things in your life that you desire and deserve. 

How did YOU make YOU feel today?

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Revisiting The Why

This is a speech that I gave at my Toastmasters club.

Eat your veggies.
Why?
It’s time for bed.
Why?
Try to go to the bathroom before you get in the car.
Why?
Clean your room.
Why?

We’ve all probably experienced the “why” stage with a child? That stage, where it doesn’t seem to matter what you tell them, they ask “why?” 

Why is defined as “for what, for what reason, cause, purpose.”  So let’s play the “Why” game. Why are you a Toastmaster? What is the purpose of going to work? What is the reason your feet hit the floor every morning? These are the kinds of questions that we, as adults, have to ask of ourselves. Not need to ask, but HAVE to ask ourselves.  We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we lose sight of our “whys.“ When we don’t know whys, we are merely settling for what is more commonly know as a rut. And the difference between a rut and a grave is the dirt in your face and the room to run around in. I’m a Toastmaster because I have a passion for speaking, I go to work because I know that I CAN make a difference, my feet hit the floor because I know I WILL be a light in a dark world.

When you  KNOW the why, the how will come. Don’t allow the hows control your whys. I didn’t always know how to be a store manager, but I kept showing up for work because my why was to become a store manager. Opportunities came to me because I was putting in the work into my why. When I knew that I wanted to make a difference in the lives of others the opportunities of how showed up in my life. I want challenge you to question the situations in your life that you don’t know your why.  Why am I in this financial situation, why am I unhappy, why did I choose this career, why did my feet hit the floor today?

Children look at their world with eyes of wonder and are curious about everything. Become curious about your world once again. And don’t allow yourself to live in a rut. Because when you find your whys in life, you will have the opportunity to look at the world through the eyes of a child once again. Why would we all not want to do that?

Val-You

I have to admit, I am a sucker for those storage and pawn reality shows. I get sucked in but the allure of finding out what things are worth. My two favorite are Pawn Stars and Storage Wars. I am continuously amazed at what people are getting rid of, found. or left in a storage locker. In the past couple of years, my wife and I have become avid Amazon shoppers and have saved ourselves a lot of money. Recently, we found a foam mattress pad at Bed, Bath, and Beyond that was going to cost us around $300. We found one on Amazon for $134. I don't believe that I have to pay more just to get the quality that I am looking for. It's all about the value. What is that product worth, what am I willing to pay for it, and what is someone willing to sell it to me for? There is only one item that I will not allow myself to go find a bargain for and that is myself. Our value should never be determined by anyone else but ourselves. But all to often, we compromise our value to please others or allow ourselves to be devalued by others. Our value should be set by us and only by us. If you don't like your value, upgrade yourself. It's never too late to work on yourself. You can teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe it's finding a new circle of friends that see you for what you can be and not by what they think you are. Maybe it's changing jobs or careers because your employer or career is holding you back from your real value. Many times, we must go through tough times to add to our value. Not unlike a piece of coal, we have to endure some heat and pressure, to become a diamond. But we have to be willing to endure those tough times and not allow them to destroy our potential but allow them to add value to our lives. It's easy to get knocked down, it's getting back up that is hard. But that decision is entirely in your hands. Never allow people to degrade you or situations to define you. You alone determine your value in this life. Will you end up in a storage locker like some forgotten relic or will you be pawned because you became irrelevant to someone? Become priceless in your own eyes and heart and other will treat you as such.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Why You Shouldn't

I have used this blog to reach those whom I might not normally have an opportunity to talk to in person. I talk so much about why you should chase down your dreams and go after your passions in life. I have shared tips and motivational stories with you. I've shared some of my struggles and triumphs to help inspire you to your own personal greatness. Maybe I have been able to reach out and help you when you have been down. Or maybe made your day a little brighter or gave you some strength when you were feeling weak. This time I would like to share with you why you shouldn't go after your dreams and passions. You shouldn't go after them because you are just fine where you are in your life. You are happy enough and it's just not worth the effort. You could be happier but why? Things in your life could be different but you have managed just fine so far. After all, fulfilling your dream and passions in life could only mean more drama in your life right? Like you really need more drama. It could only mean more work load and more hours and you don't really have the ability of time for it. Maybe when the kids get older, get a little further along in your career, maybe when you get a little older, or maybe it just plain to late in life to even try. Things are just to hectic right now.

Now I don't know if reverse psychology works or not  but my point is that there is no such thing as a perfect time to begin. You just have to start now. You have the ability to do something now, with what you have, where you are. We get focused on the excuses and seeing the problems that we lose sight of the solutions. Don't give up, don't settle, and believe in you. Sometimes we have to believe in someone else's belief in us before our own belief kicks in. I believe in you.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!

"Average Joe" Speaker

What sets me apart from all other motivational speakers and life coaches? I didn't have a terrible childhood. I haven't survived some horrific accident. I haven't been in prison or been involved in drugs and alcohol. I wasn't born with a disability. I didn't become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and I haven't made millions. From the way I see it, I've had a pretty run of the mill life. Sure it has had it's fair share of bumps in the road. My Father died when I was young and for much of my childhood I was raised by my Mom. I've been so broke that I had to live with friends and family. I was a Dad at the age of 19 and I've never graduated from college. As far as my career, I've spent over 20 years in retail and I have been the store manager for a few different companies. See, nothing spectacular. You'll get no glitz and glamor from me. No fancy suits or words from me. But here is what you can't see, my drive, my passion, and my commitment. I have a heart for helping people. Those who have taken the opportunity to work with me have seen this first hand. I can't change lives, I can only change my own. However, I can help you change your life. The key word there is "help". It is still your decisions, actions, or lack thereof that will ultimately change your life. I don't pull punches and I tell it like it is. Make no mistake about it, I have your best intentions at heart, but it won't be easy. Living the life of your dreams, a life filled with happiness and love, is worth every effort that you choose to make. Are you ready for the changes that you have always wanted? Get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Karma...It's Not Just For Revenge

The overwhelming majority of the posts that I read on facebook in relation to Karma is about how it will come back and get the person who did you wrong. While this might be true and maybe it gives you some sense of satisfaction, I think that we are greatly obscuring our view of all that it encompasses. When our morals prevent us from taking revenge on someone that has personally done us wrong, we watch and wait for Karma to work it's magic and secretly hope that we get to watch. I think that this is a little sick and twisted, but alas, I have been guilty of this myself. The basic concepts of Karma are know by many names, The Law of Attraction and Reaping and Sowing are just a couple. In all actuality, it's not a concept, it is a natural law formed when the Earth was formed. This natural law cannot be averted, nor can it be broken. Whatever you want to call it, it envelopes more than just revenge. Sure, that person who wronged you or another, will get what is coming to them but lets apply this law in it's fullest form. What ever we put out in this life, whether it is positive or negative, that is what we will get back. So many time we are putting all of our mental and physical efforts towards the negatives in our lives that the positives get lost in the much and the mire. Sure it sounds like "pie in the sky" talk, but when I realized and then applied this law in my life, it began to change my life. Do I have it perfected, no, but I realized that when I place my efforts on the positives in my life and that positives that I want in my life, I began to see and live the life that I desire. Did it happen overnight? I wish, and actually it took a lot longer than I would have liked it to. It's a process...remember, you didn't get into your present circumstance overnight, it's going to take some time to get out. What you sowed in the past still has to be reaped at some point in time. But what you begin to plant now, will be harvested in the future. I'm not saying that once you live this law that you won't still have bad things happen in your life. But those time are just a part of the human experience. Those are the time when we have an opportunity to grow and become stronger as a person. I want to challenge you to put a whole lot more effort in the positives that you have and want in your life. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have. No one is expecting you to change the world, but you can begin today, with small, persistent, and consistent steps to change your personal corner of the world. I wish that words could explain how much this has changed my life. Whatever you spend your time, energy, thoughts, and actions on, is what you are going to get more of in your life. I heard so many people talk about how they are sick and tired of all the drama in their lives, and yet that is the majority of what their posts are on facebook. Want to live a more drama free life, stop feeding it. Just walk away. "But Dan, you don't understand." No, I do get it. I have had to limit and in some cases, cut ties with the people, places, and things that cause strife in my life. The people that we associate with, the things that we have and do, and the places that we go either add value to our lives or take away from that value. Time to take inventory of what is and isn't adding value to our lives and make the adjustments. Fear of cutting ourselves off of what has been comfortable will keep us from the lives that we were born to lead. Change is hard and sometimes it even hurts. But, from my experience, that pain is temporary and hurts a lot less than settling for less than what we should be.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big