The Foundation Has Been Laid

What a great year 2011 has been. Sure, it's had it's ups and downs, but that is just a part of life. The knowledge, experiences, and the people that have come into my life this year have helped shape what 2011 was all about. I can look back and say that there are some things that would have happened but they didn't so I'm not going to worry about it. 2011 was a year that I was able to lay an incredible foundation for all that is going to happen in 2012. I have been able to developed my mind, spirit, and soul for my passion. 2012 will be a great year to start building on that foundation and go from unknown to know, from good to great, and from practice to game day. I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life at this moment. Over the next few days I am going to take, what is for me, a huge leap of faith. I have shared my passion to become a full-time Motivational Speaker/Life Coach with just a few close friends and family. Ones that I feel I could trust with my goals, ones that would support me, and ones that wouldn't try to squash my dreams. Now, I feel like I am ready to share it with the world. I know that it will come with some criticisms and obstacles, but when a dream/passion goes from your head to your heart, it's almost impossible to extinguish that kind of fire. With the help of friends and family, we will begin to put AIAO Life Coaching on the map. I know that this will get very busy for me this next year and I am sure that there will be obstacles that will test my resolve but I am ready to take them on. Thank you to everyone for your support. I am always open to ideas and constructive criticism, without those two things, AIAO Life Coaching cannot become all that it can be. Cheers to all that 2011 was and all that 2012 will be.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big.

Success For Just Dollars

I have been wanting to share a list of all the books that I have read over the past thirteen months for a couple weeks now, so here it is. The ones with an asterisk are the ones that I will be reading again in 2012. I have discovered the power of reading during this time and believe that it is one of the most under utilized tools that we have. Many of these books I purchased at Dollar Tree, clearance sections of bookstores, a couple from Half Priced Bookstore,and a few from Amazon. The only book that I paid full retail for was Atlas Shrugged. I am a bargain shopper but I have been amazed, when I let the books find me, how they have been the right books at the right time in my life. Some I even bought months before I read them, but when I picked them up, the timing was perfect. In order to find the time and money to sit down one on one with all of these successful people, if it would even be possible, would be an almost impossible feat. I have found success for just a few dollars per book and wisdom that I can pick up at anytime. I would like to challenge everyone to read a book a month this next year.  

*Life Coaching For Dummies

*Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies

*The Alchemist -Paulo Coelho

Excellence: Inspiration for Achieving Your Personal Best -Edited By J. Pincott

Life Coach -Steve Tarde(Ebook)

You Have 3 Minutes: Learn the Secret of the Pitch From Trump’s Original Apprentice -Ricardo R. Bellino

Drive:The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us -Daniel Pink

Transformational Speaking: If You Want to Change the World, Tell a Better Story -Gail Larsen

Don’t Be Clueless: 7 Keys to Life in the Real World -Garry Cobb & Pat Breslin

A Boy Should Know How To Tie A Tie and Other Lessons For Succeeding In Life -Antwone Fisher

Sales Presentation Techniques(That Really Work) -Stephan Schiffman

It’s Not Over Until I Win: How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be-No Matter What the Obstacle -Les Brown

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference -Malcolm Gladwell

The Little Red Book of Wisdom -Mark DeMoss

*Rhinoceros Success -Scott Alexander

Advanced Rhinocerology: To Help You Through the Jungle -Scott Alexander

Wisdom to Grow On: Incredible Letters and Inspiring Advice For Getting the Most Out of Life -Charles J. Acquisto

Toy Box Leadership: Leadership Lessons From the Toys You Loved as a Child -Ron Hunter Jr. & Michael E. Waddell

How To Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Atlas Shrugged -Ayn Rand

*Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment -Robert Mack

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t -Michael J. Losier

Secrets To Success: When You Want to Succeed as Bad as You Want to Breathe -Eric Thomas

Journey to the Impossible: Designing an Extraordinary Life -Scott Jeffrey

Step Into Your Greatness: People Don't Fail Because They Aim to High and Miss, but Because They Aim to Low and Hit -Les Brown(Audio Book)

*Make The Impossible Possible: One Man’s Journey to Change Lives -Bill Strickland


*The Passion Test:The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose -Chris & Janet Attwood


In closing I would like to thank you all who read my posts and wish you all a very wonderful Holiday season. I am expecting big things in 2012 and I hope that all of you are as well.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!

Stepping Out

I have been pursuing my passion for just over a year now. I have been feeding and nurturing it with great care. I am sure that there are things that I could have done better but I don't regret where I am in my pursuit. I believe that I am where I am supposed to be in this journey. This past year has had it's ups and downs, but I was open enough to allow my passion to show me what all it can and will become. Doubts have crept in and even thoughts of giving up. I have also had those days where I felt like nothing can stop me from accomplishing all that I was destined to do. Thankfully, I have have had way more days of determination than those of doubt. 

I know that I was born with my destiny and passion already alive within me. But, due to my choices I have had to wait until the time was right for it to be revealed to me. I'm not sure of the exact moment or situation that caused me to realized what I was destined to do, but I am now very clear what it is that I am to do with my life.

I know that my next step could be my hardest so far. You see, I have protected my passion and dreams from most of my friends and family. I know that I will need help along the way, but I was afraid of what others might say. So, I have probably been overly protective of my passion at times. I believe that, to some extent, I needed to protect it. Mentally and spiritually my passion needed time to mature and take root within me, to the point where it wouldn't be easily shaken. I now feel that the time is almost here for me to share with the whole world where it is I am going. I know that opening myself up like this will attract the cynics and critics. I understand that their words and actions could hamper my progress. Many of their concerns will be well founded in "being realistic" and their concern for me and my family. To those who honestly have me and my family in their best interests, I appreciate and thank you for your concern. More importantly, this will also open new doors for me. Every successful person, has had some help along the way, from sources that they never thought of. Now is the time for my passion to really take flight.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big
 

The Road Not Traveled

The road on the right looks close, the one on the left looks really muddy from all the recent rain, and there is no way to turn around. So, I guess the I will have to go forward, onto the four-lane Interstate that is well paved, has a 70 MPH speed limit, and plenty of traffic. Left, right, or forward will all get me to the same place, the end of my life. You see, on the road of life we will be faced with this type of decision many times over. Going forward means that you will follow the status quo. You will live your life, like many other, among the people who have given up on their dreams in exchange for being comfortable. Personally, I have traveled this road a lot and it's easy and pretty safe travel. To be honest, I've enjoyed the time that I have traveled this road. It didn't require a whole lot of effort and I could use cruise control most of the time. Sure, I haven't achieved everything that I could have, but who needs that headache? The more you achieve, the more that is expected of you. Plus, I have a good job that I can move up in, I make pretty good money, I have a nice home and car, and a family that loves and supports me. What or why ask for more out of life? Because the road that looks to muddy or the one that seems closed is the one that is not travelled in my life. Because that is the road that my heart and spirit tells me that I should be on. At almost 40 years old, many would say why now and isn't it to late in life? Many before you have tried and failed miserably at chasing their dreams. But that's the point, that was them and that was their dreams. It's time that I take the road not travelled in my life. I am willing to take on the struggles and hardships that will inevitably happen. When your dream moves from your head to your heart, there is no stopping you. So I salute those of you who have decided to travel the road in your life that has not been travelled and those of you who are now making that decision.You will face criticism, doubts, hardships, and maybe even lose some friends and family along the way. The road not traveled will test you like you have never been tested before in your life. It will cause you the do things that you have never done and will force you to be good at things that you never saw as one of your strengths. But, that road will also give you happiness like you have never felt, inner peace like you none other before, and a sense of worth that only that it can.

Now I know that this metaphor is probably a little redundant and played out but for those of you who really know me, I speak what is on my heart. I know that the seeds of inspiration, that I share, will never go without being harvested when they are read by an individual with an open mind and heart.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Second-Class Citizenship

The definition of a second-class citizen is a person considered inferior in status or rights in comparison with some others. I believe that many of us have been a second-class citizen at some point in our lives or might even feel like they are one right now. I know that I have been a second-class citizen at times in my life. I have been poor, homeless, worked what some would consider menial jobs, and have lived in a trailer(mobile home) more than once. One, if not more, of these could classify me as a second-class citizen at different times in my life. I know that there are many other factors that could cause someone to be considered a second-class citizen but none of these are what I would like for you to take into consideration.

When we deprive ourselves our birthright of being happy and living up to our fullest potential as a human being, aren't we really relegating ourselves to second-class citizenship? It's not that we are inferior, but we place ourselves in an inferior situation when we ignore our happiness and passions in life. We are capable of far more that what we allow ourselves to accomplish. Some are afraid of failure, some success, and still others are plain lazy. I understand that it's easier to just ignore what our heart wants, especially when it will take work to make it happen. With time, that nagging feeling of accomplishing what it is that you have always wanted to do will subside, but it will never completely go away. From time to time, your heart will remind you of the "what if's" of what your life could be like. It will remind you that you are not a second-class citizen, but a first-class human being, with a hidden passion that needs to be fulfilled. No one can accomplish your dreams and goals but you and no one can make you completely happy but you. 

It's time to turn in your second-class citizenship card and go after that which has caused you many restless nights.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!

Laying On A Nail

The story goes, that one day a man was taking a walk and passed by a house with some people sitting on the porch talking. As he walked by he noticed that there was a dog laying on the porch as well that was moaning and groaning. The man decided to ask the man on the porch, "Why is your dog moaning and groaning?" The man replied, "Because he's laying on a nail." "Well why won't he get off?", the man asked. He answers, "Because it's not hurting bad enough to get off, just bad enough to moan and groan."

How many times in our lives have we been like that dog? The situations that we find ourselves in aren't bad enough to take action to correct, but we have no problem complaining about them. I believe that if we are not willing to take the actions to correct the nail(s) in our lives, that we should stop complaining about them. We have a job that we don't like, our kids are acting up, the dishwasher is broken, our coworkers and or mate aren't being supportive of us, and the list goes on and on of what we complain about on a daily basis. Stop wasting your time and energy on the stuff that you aren't willing to fix. It just brings you down and those around you. If it's something that is out of your control, then just walk away from that nail in your life. No need to concern yourself with it, like all the drama that others want to force you to listen to and take their side on. 

I have had and still do have nails in my life but I stopped concerning myself with them and I have done everything that I can to move away from the things that I don't like in my life. It's amazing how, when I concern myself with what I can do about the situations that I have control over, how the little things that used to bother me so much really don't matter anymore. I have learned to stop moaning and groaning about the nails in my life by getting up, moving, and concerning myself with the good things in my life. I would implore you to just try this for the next week. Every time that a situation in your life becomes uncomfortable and you want to moan and groan about it, get up and move you, if possible, and more importantly your thoughts, to what makes you happy.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Somthing So Simple Meant So Much

As many of you know, I have spent the last eleven months working on me and preparing myself to accomplish my passions and dreams. Twenty plus books and hours of motivational/educational videos and CD's to help me get my mind and spirit in line with who I want to be as a person and where I need to be in my professional life. I have had the opportunity to meet some great new friends, speak to two High School classes, share my vision with several individuals, and learn a lot about myself along the way. I have taken most of the negatives out of my life, those that I have control over, and replaced them with the the positive stuff that I need.

The past eleven months haven't been completely easy. I have had many days filled with self-doubt, fear, impatience, and wanting to quit. There have been many days that I questioned if this is really what I wanted to even do. Giving up would be easier, and just go on on the career path that I have been doing for the past nineteen years. I make good money, I know what I am doing, and I've been doing it so long that it's not really work anymore, it's more like a habit. But I realize that giving up on my passion would mean that I would be giving up on a certain amount of happiness and fulfilling what I believe to be my true calling in life. Those two things are not something that I am willing to risk. I have played it safe long enough, time for me to step out and take a risk.

We live in in society of instant gratification but I understand that I didn't get to my current place in life overnight, so it will take some time to get out of it. It's going to take some time for me to start reaping the benefits of my efforts. A couple of days ago I received and email from a friend of mine, telling me that "he reads a lot of my posts on Facebook and that it has encouraged him to follow his dream no matter the obstacle." Now this may seem like something small and not much of a reward for eleven months of work to most people but this meant the world to me. It encouraged me to continue down the path that I have started down towards my passions in life no matter what obstacles I may encounter. The rewards will come from out of nowhere and when you least expect them. I'm not sure what 2012 has in store for me, but I do know that as long as I stay true to my passions and dreams happiness will follow.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

It's Ok To Be Selfish

I am sure that most of us consider ourselves to be unselfish people. We give of ourselves when and where we can. We especially go out of our way for family and close friends. We help people move, we give to our favorite charities, we donate our time to helping those in need, and we even send encouraging messages to those hurting. These are the kinds of action that we should do for others without expecting something in return and these are very unselfish acts.

All of this is well and good but we need to be more selfish. It doesn't mean that we stop doing those things that I have mentioned, but it means that we need to work on our own happiness. We get so caught up in all of the dramas of everyday life that we neglect ourselves. When struggles happen in life we get so worked up over them that we begin to forget about being happy. When our focus is not on ourselves and what makes us happy we are then less effective in helping others not to mention that fact that is begins to effect those closest to us without even saying a word. 

The lack of happiness triggers depression and what good are you to those who mean the most to you if you are depressed? We have become society of rush, rush, rush, that we put our own needs aside for the sake of others. But what good are we when we are less than 100%? I can personally testify that what I am saying is true. I made a decision almost a year ago that I was going to work on me and what makes me happy because I know that if I am happy I am of more value to those around me. Sure, I have still had my tough times, but it's a process and it takes time to reprogram your brain to pursue your happiness. Figure out what makes you happy in life and go after that. When we direct our thoughts and actions toward what makes us happy, the struggles in life will fight to get the attention that they were used to. The struggles will start to seem like the "small things" and we all know not to "sweat the small things."

What we are and who we become are all products of our thoughts and actions. If you are in an unhappy relationship, unhappy with your job, unhappy with your car or home stop dwelling on it. Turn your attention to what is making you happy and things will start turning around for you. Remember that you didn't get in this rut overnight and you won't get out overnight. But trust me on this, the results far out weigh the effort.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Prove Them Wrong

I was told as young boy, repeatedly by a certain adult, that I would never amount to anything. I allowed these words influence me into early twenties. I allowed those words to echo in my mind when ever I would try achieve something new. In my early twenties I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful couple that help me realize that I had something special. They believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. They introduced me to the world of motivational speakers and self-help. They helped me to gain a larger vision of myself. As I began to develope myself, I made the decision that I would use those words, "You'll never amount to anything" to motivate me. I decided that I would prove that person wrong.

Be careful what you say to people and especially children. My wife and I believe that, in correcting our children, we are upset with the action and never the child. The child is never stupid but maybe the action was. We have great kids, but sometimes their actions weren't so great. I believe that we have to treat adults the same. In my years of experience as a manager, the action needed corrected not the person. When we direct our frustrations toward an individual and not their action, we are merely tearing down their self-esteem. I was taught years ago, as a sales manager, to critique in the "Build-Burn-Build" method. "Build" them up by telling them what they did right. "Burn" down what they did wrong and give them solutions as to what might have worked better. Finally, "Build" them back up and reenforce what they can do better next time. Try it the next time you have a conflict to resolve and let me know how it works for you.


Don't let the foolish words of someone else dictate your life. I allowed this person's opinion of me to become my reality for years. Once I came to the realization, that I could be and was so much better than this person thought I was, the sky was the limit. It took a couple of years to really erase all those years of believing that I wouldn't amount to anything. It took a lot of personal growth on my part and a lot of love and support from some very special people in my life. It was well worth the journey.

Some would say that I have accomplished a lot with my life, and to them I say, "Thank you." Personally, I know that I have only touched the tip of this iceberg. Many years have passed since I last heard those words from that person, "You'll never amount to anything" and from what I understand, they have loosely kept track of me over the years. To that person I would like to say, "I proved you wrong." The greatest revenge is massive success. Go out and prove your critics wrong.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges

I am a fan of MMA and I recently had the opportunity to attend a great night of amateur fights. The night had a little bit of everything. Submissions, knockouts, TKOs’, and some even went the distance. Dana White, President of  the UFC, has said it over and over again, “  Never leave it in the hands of the judges.”  Meaning, either knock your opponent out or make them quit. When you go the distance and leave it up to the judges, your fate is now in their hands. I have watch many fights go the distance and the person who I thought won , and many others watching the fight thought had won, ended up losing the decision. For what ever reason, the judges saw it differently than the rest of us.

This is exactly what happen to a friend of mine during his fight the other night. His title fight went all five rounds and ended up going to the judges scorecards. Sure, the guy that he was fighting was the hometown favorite fighting in his hometown, and was the defending champion. But all that aside, my friend didn’t finish the fight. He lost a very close split decision and I think that the crowd was as split as the judges.

There are two things in life that I don’t think that we should leave up to the “judges.". One is our challenges and the other is our dreams. We need to go into the fights with our challenges and dreams with the attitude that we are going to finish them on our terms. When we do just enough to get by and leave the rest to sort itself out instead of finishing, we stand the chance of it not ended the way we planned. Now I know that we will not always get everything exactly the way we want it in life. But I would rather “leave it all in the cage” and know that I gave it all I’ve got, than to leave my fate in the hands of someone else.

When we are not pursuing our own dreams, we are then pursuing the dreams of someone else or the dreams that someone else has for us. When we are not trying to overcome the challenges that come our way in life, we are then allowing life to control us instead of us controlling our lives. I know some of the challenges that I will face in the pursuit of my dreams. I can see some of the obstacles that I will face in the pursuit of my dreams and I am not willing to leave that in the hands of the judges. I am not will to wait and see what happens. I am willing to enter the cage and look my opponent in the eyes, whether it be challenges in life or my dreams, and leave it all in the cage. I will go ahead and put my dreams and life’s challenges on notice. I’m coming for you and I am going for the knockout or the submission and if for some reason it has to go to the decision, even if I lose the decision, I will know that I did my best. I know that I gave it my all. I left it all in the cage and I will learn and grow from my experience so that next time, I will leave no doubt that I WON.

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

I Want To Meet Me

This past Tuesday I was invited to participate in a conference call with other motivational speakers and entrepreneurs from around the country and over seas. My friend Jim Hernandez, a fellow motivational speaker, shared a story how he took advantage of an opportunity to meet one of his heroes, Les Brown. The question was then ask, “Who would you like to meet and why?” People answered everything from other speakers, the President, Oprah, to local business leaders. 

I have a few people that I would like to meet, such as Scott Alexander(an author), Les Brown, Guy Fieri, Gordon Ramsay, and a few others. However, the person that I want to meet the most is me. I know that that answer sounds a little strange but follow me for a moment. I, like most of you, have big dreams and goals. I want to meet the me that has accomplished those things in life. I want to meet the person that I aspire to be. I want to meet me at my very best.

I know that life has struggles, set back, and things will come along that will stop you in your tracks in the pursuit of your dreams. I want to meet the me that is going to achieve those dreams in spite of these obstacles. I want to meet the me that didn’t take “no” for an answer. I have my weaknesses and short comings, but I know that I have what it takes to push beyond what I am currently capable of and become the person that I aspire to be.

I want each and every one of you to aspire to meet the you that you want to become. I want each and every one of you to meet you at your very best that you can be. The person that has accomplished your dreams. We all seem to quickly make the decision not to lose, but we procrastinate the decision to win. Make a step and decision today to start winning. It’s harder to lose if you are winning.

I also wanted to touch on the subject of surrounding yourself with right people. The conference call was so motivating. I put myself around people who are expecting to win. Most of us didn’t know what the other persons’ dreams and goals are, but we encouraged each other any way. I have a handful of friends with that same mindset. We need those kind of people in our lives. In a world full of negative, find those who will support and encourage you. They don’t have to understand all that you are trying to accomplish, they just need to be your cheerleaders.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Who me...a perfectionist?

So, I started writing a new post last night from one of my many random notes that I had written months ago. Something about it didn't feel right. I felt like I was forcing it so I deleted it. And I am glad that I did because the last thing that I want to do is not speak from my heart when I post on my blog.

Today, while I was at work, I had an opportunity to talk to a Counselor friend of mine who reminded me that I am a perfectionist. I guess that I don't see myself as one, but many family members would disagree with me. We were discussing the "fear" that I have about my upcoming speech. I don't want to give so much information that it become a jumbled mess. But, I also don't want to give so little that my audience is left uninspired due to lack of information. My friends have told me to speak from my heart and be real. I have never really been a person to speak from anywhere but my heart. I have a passion for people and I love it when I have the opportunity to help them become their best. Help them realize the positive changes that can transform their lives.

It's been said that perfection is never a destination but a journey and I totally agree. I feel that once you accept that you are where you are in life because of the choices you have made you can start that journey. Part of that journey is learning to speak to yourself from your heart and be real and accept it as constructive criticism and not get down about it. You have to know where you are before you can get to where you want to be in life. Once you accept you for you and begin to love yourself, you can begin to make the changes to become the best you possible. In my personal journey, finding the person that I want to be has been a wonderful trip but not always easy. I am just getting started and I am excited to where this can take me and who I can become. Sure, I have had to give myself some tough love but knowing that it is a part of the process. So in the pursuit of my personal perfection, I will always speak from the heart and always try to be real. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big 

Become The Best Benchwarmer

How many stories have you heard about professional athletes who were second or third string, on the practice squad, or in the minor leagues then all of a sudden they got their chance? Then, just as soon as they got into shape, practiced a few more jump shots, spent another week with the pitching coach, or learned how to run a passing route, they showed up for the game. That’s how they did it right? No, they were ready the moment the call came in. They had spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes years waiting for this moment to come. They had dreamed of this very opportunity, they had visualized it in their mind, and acted as though it was going to happen.

Shouldn’t pursuing our goals be the same? Shouldn’t we have dreamed of the opportunity, visualized it in our mind, and acted as though it was going to happen? They say that many time successful people were just lucky. I say that they were prepared for when their opportunity. They put in the hours, days, weeks, and sometimes even years of hard work to be ready when their opportunity came. This is what separates the good from the great. The part of the story that is rarely told is about all of the hard work, the determination, the frustrations, and set backs that they went through to get to this moment.

I am willing to guarantee that if you will put in consistent and persistent effort towards achieving your dreams, it WILL pay off. I don’t know when that call will come but isn’t it better to be ready when opportunity comes knock instead of having to say, “Can you give me just a few more months?” It’s not about what you don’t have to get you where you want to be, it’s about doing the most with what you have now. Put in the work, accept nothing less of yourself, and before you know it, your dreams will start coming true.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Did I Pursue The Wrong Dream?

A couple of years ago, while on vacation with family in Alabama, we stayed in a motel that wasn’t exactly what they led us to believe on their website. The indoor pool was closed, the room was smaller than expected, the room was not as clean nor maintained as we expected. There was a party upstairs with what seemed to me to be a rough crowd. As I was trying to fall sleep, I was just waiting to hear gun shots and dreading what condition I might find my car in in the morning considering I was from out of state. We thought about changing motels, but we had already paid for them and we would have lost our money plus had to pay for another room somewhere else. The good news is, nothing bad happened and we got through our three day stay there.

Dreams and goals can sometimes be like this as well. We paint a great picture in our mind of what it will look and feel like when we achieve our dreams. We just know that achieving this will change our lives and we will be so happy. But when we get there it isn’t exactly all that we thought that is was cracked up to be. It doesn’t feel nor look anything like the picture in our mind and we aren’t as happy as we thought we would be. WOW, what a major let down! We have our next dream lined up, but it’s still a work in progress, so we are stuck with what we have. Now what do we do?

I know this situation all to well. I understand that everything happens for a reason, but I am not always the most patient person in waiting for the “why.” So here I sit with a dream that I am no longer driven to sustain and another dream that I am working on but haven’t achieved. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have days where the frustrations of being where I no longer want to be override the enthusiasm of chasing a dream. Those are the days that I need to force myself to make bigger strides toward my dream, so that is why I am writing this at Midnight when I have to be up at 7:00 A.M. This is a part of my story that I want to share and probably therapeutic for me as well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I chased the dream and I am proud of my accomplishments. I learned a lot along the way that will help me in the future. I believe that this is just a part of the process that I must go through in order to become the best me possible. It’s a part of my journey in this thing called life. I have nothing in this life that I regret and I won’t start now. So for now, I will keep this “motel room” and remember what is was like to stay here. This way when I get to the next one, I will remember where I came from and what it took me to get here.

Dream Big…Pursue Big…Live Big

Find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or Email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com

Losing To Win

I know that we have all been in those situations that it seems like no matter what we do, it's a losing battle. No matter where we look, it's a dead end. No matter what decisions that we try to make, they are wrong. It feels like the world is slowly closing in on us and that the situation is completely hopeless. I know that I have had many of these situations in my life and that I have felt exactly like this. It has seemed as though the only solution would be to just give up and quit.

So, I have done just that, quit. I gave up. The problem is, it didn't fix the problem and many times it made it worse. My Parents always said that I would have to learn everything the hard way and until I was in my mid 20's they were right. I finally figured out, the hard way, that quitting doesn't work. 

The same holds true for your dreams. Quitting doesn't work. When things get tough, and they will, keep moving forward. Even the smallest amount of pursuit is better then no pursuit. If you are moving forward towards your dream, you make it damn near impossible to go backwards.

I also believe that you have to be willing to lose the battle, at times, to win the war. You see, no matter how bad we can want something in life, the path that we have chosen, will get changed on us from time to time. You can try as you might to push yourself down a certain path towards your dreams, but that might not be the right path for you right now. Don't give up, change your tactics and perspective. Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome!!!

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big!!!
Don't forget to find me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching or email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com 

It's Still A Monkey In A Suit

You only get one change to make a first impression, but you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. You can't have it both ways. Which is it? For those who know me, know that I am a simple man with a wardrobe to match. I am by no means on the cutting edge of fashion and should probably be on an episode of "What Not To Wear." In a world obsessed with outward appearances it is easy to see why people feel the need to spend thousands on clothing each year. Shoes-$100; Pants-$100; Shirt-$65; Underclothes-$20...I don't think that this is much of an exaggeration and that's just one outfit. I won't even go into the cost of some of the other things that we spend our money on to look our best. 

I have no problem with looking good for the sake of it making us feel better about ourselves. However, it can't replace a well developed self-confidence but should merely enhance it. Contrary to popular belief, the clothes do not make the person, but the person makes the clothes. You can try to cover up what your feel are your personal short comings, but eventually they will come out.


You can put on your best clothes for that job interview, sales presentation, or a first date and that might make that good first impression. However, eventually what is on the inside will come out. If you don't have job knowledge, don't know the sales numbers, or have self-confidence, you are just a "monkey in a suit."


If we would spend just half of the time and money working on inward appearance as they do their outward appearance, how much more could we accomplish? When we work on what's on the inside, we gain value. When we gain value, we gain self-confidence, desire to accomplish, and our dreams start to come true. I would like to challenge everyone to just spend 30 days working on their inward appearance. What is something about you that you wish you would like to change? For me, it was reading personal development books. Learning about how I can become a better me so that I can help others do the same. When we begin to change how we feel on the inside about ourselves, things on the outside seem to matter less.


I look forward to hearing about your journey. You can contact me at AIAO Life Coaching on Facebook or your can email me at AIAOLifeCoaching@gmail.com.


Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

Almost 40yrs old and living in my parents' basement?

What started out as only a couple of days a week, just to get more sleep and save some money on gas, has turned into 5 or more days a week. I see my wife and son about 6 days a month. The rest of the time is spent at my parent's house, mostly in the basement. How and why did this happen? The how I can answer with facts but the why...I can only speculate. In May of 2010, I took a transfer with my job back to Burlington, which is an hour away from where I live, where I was born and raised. The plan was to sell our house and move there. Needless to say, the house didn't sell. Then throw into the mix, Bentley, my Grandson being born. He spent the first three weeks of his life in the NICU. My wife and daughter spent those three weeks with Bentley in Iowa City, so I just stayed in Burlington except on my day(s) off when I would go to see them. Follow that up with the Christmas season in retail, which means six day work weeks, so I would just go home on my one day off a week. Many consider me a workaholic, which many be true. After the Christmas season, I have continued to work six days most weeks and not drive back and forth. My wife and I understand that this has been our decision and we are accepting of it's benefits and struggles even though, at times, it hasn't been easy. I believe that we have grown closer and stronger as individuals through this time. Sure I miss my family and I know that they miss me.

During this time we've had a financial issue arise, last November, that made me realize that "I don't want to live like this anymore". It's not that I don't make good money, because I do. We don't have extravagant things because we don't. We had been irresponsible with our money in the past, most of which we had since taken care of, but we missed one. But it wasn't just about money, something inside of me snapped and made me realize that I was not living up to my potential in life. I wasn't doing what made me happy.

I have always had a desire to learn more about the field of Psychology and Counselling. I have had friends and family come the me with their struggles in life. I enjoy the process of helping them see the problem for what it really was and then how to grow from it and how to change from it. I began to spend my time, in the basement, reading and learning about Life Coaching and Motivational Speaking. I like the the opportunity that these two fields will give me to help others without many of the rules and regulations that Psychology and Counselling have. As many of you know, I like to challenge rules and regulations. 

I wanted to take this opportunity to share with everyone where my life has taken me in the past year. I don't want to make it all sound like it has all been bad. I have had the opportunity to spend some time with my parents that most people my age don't get. I have read over a dozen books since December to better improve on my weaknesses for my career as a Life Coach & Motivational Speaker. I have learned a lot about me and where I want to go in life. 


In closing, I want to say thank you to my family and friends who have supported me in my quest. Please take the time to "Like" me on Facebook at AIAO Life Coaching if you would like to follow me on my quest.

I Am In Love With Myself

I have come to learn that there is a difference between loving and being in love. There are a lot of people in this world that I love but I am only in love with two people. I love my children, my grandson, family, and friends. I am in love with my wife and myself. Ok, so that probably sounded conceited, but we all know that importance of loving yourself.

I believe that we can also love and be in love with some of the things in our lives. We can love material things because they bring a certain amount of happiness. The things and people that we are in live with bring us the most happiness. I think that it’s important that we add more things to our lives that we love and are in love with.

Sometimes, we can convince ourselves that we are in love with certain aspects of our lives. Many times we have accepted these aspects due to necessity or because we have settled for less than we are truly capable of doing. I know that I am guilty of this very kind of acceptance. Where I allow mediocrity into my life, I have stifled happiness from entering my life. There are things in my life that I am in the process of changing in order to bring me more happiness. I know that happiness breeds happiness. The same is true for mediocrity. I feel that it’s important to find out what in our lives we only like and find more of what we love.

Believe that you deserve to be happy. Find out what you love and are in love with in life. Be daring enough to pursue those thing. Commit yourself to achieving your greatness.

Thank You Kelly

In 1998 I had an opportunity to meet a man that made a big impact in my life. His name, Kelly and we lived in the same apartment complex. He was a well built man, who had made a very good life for him and his family from his own construction company. What made Kelly different was that he had Multiple-sclerosis. Now I don’t know a whole lot about the disease but from what I was told, this was the worse case his doctors had ever seen. By the time that I had me Kelly, the MS had already ravaged most of his body.  He was a man that could barely walk. Most of the time he needed help to get into a wheelchair just to get from the car to the front door of his apartment. Many of his movements were jerky at best. His speech was very hard to understand. Kelly was only in my life for about a year before my job moved me to Omaha, NE but the lesson that I learned from Kelly was invaluable. It didn’t matter to him what condition the MS was leaving his body in on any particular day, Kelly always had a smile on his face. Many times, to show his approval, a thumbs up was all he could muster. Every time that I saw Kelly, he knew that he had what a lot of people were missing in life, perspective. You see, when he found out what was going to happen to his body because of the MS, he sold his business, and divorced his wife. Now you might ask, why a divorce? He believed that his wife deserved to move on with her life. From my understanding, his now ex-wife, stayed in his life and saw him on a regular basis. I could tell that Kelly was a proud man and asking for help humbled him greatly. But he also knew that he couldn’t do it alone. I remember a couple of times, I had to pick him up off the ground because the woman that took care of him couldn’t do it on her own. The first time that I came to help they both looked at me funny and wondered how a 5 foot 6 inch person was going to pick up a man of just over 6 foot that had over 50 lbs on him off the ground. I showed them that it was the will to help and not the circumstances that would make it happen. Kelly and I became pretty good friends after that. I learned from Kelly that it’s not our situations in life that controls us. Oh sure, his body wasn’t was it used to be, but his mind was still in tact. You see, he taught me that no matter what is happening around me or to me, it’s all about my attitude towards it that makes all the difference. I have read in books about the importance of our attitude in life, but seeing it in action, is a whole different thing. A few years later, I had heard that Kelly had passed away. I was saddened by the news. I knew that in his parting from this world, he left with a smile on his face and a thumb in the air. Thank you Kelly for teaching me that it’s not about the struggle but about the perspective that we choose to have about it that makes all the difference in the world.

How big is it?

I try to keep things simple, so there are three of the things that really encourage:

Dream Big: I’ve heard it said that if the dream is big enough, the facts don’t count. What is it, that’s in you that you can’t live without? There isn’t anything wrong with wanting the simple things in life, but will those things be enough to change your current state of being? Will they be enough to motivate you to go after them? The other thing is, a dream should make us stretch beyond what we are currently are capable of doing. Sometimes we lower our goals because when we start working toward our big dream, things get tough.

Pursue Big: Now that you are dreaming big, you have to go after that dream. You can sit around all day dreaming, but it’s wasted time if you don’t take action. Things will happen in your life and try to steal that dream from you. People will tell you that you can’t do it. You will have things happen that will set you back and try to knock you off course. If you don’t pursue your dreams who will? Why would you allow yourself to give less than 100%. You have to get the mentality that you will achieve your dreams no matter what. You have to become unstoppable. I believe that if your dreams doesn’t motive you, if you don’t have a desire for it,  there can only be two problems. One, your dreams really isn’t big enough, or you don’t REALLY want it. After all, a big dream demands big pursuit.

Live Big: When you have taken the time to dream big and then matched it by big pursuit, then you can live big. Living big is about being happy. Not just with material possessions, but with the things that you do and the people whom you share it with. Life is a collection of experiences, what kind of experiences are you collecting? If they were to write a movie about your life, are you creating the experiences in your life that you would want to see on the big screen. Would it be a box office smash or a flop? I also believe that a part of living big is giving back to people. Along your journey to living your dream, you will need some help, help someone else in the pursuit of their dreams.

If you are not willing to risk you cannot grow and if you cannot grow you cannot become your best. And if you cannot become your best, you can’t be happy, and if you can’t be happy, then what else is there?

When was the last time that you ate?

 I love food as you can probably see. There are not to many foods that I have tried that I don't like. Just think of all your favorite foods: Fish, chicken, pork, beef, pizza, pasta, potatoes, vegetables, fruits, and of course desserts. The list can go on and on. Now imagine all of your favorite foods on an all you can eat buffet. They even have the foods that only family can make best, just the way they make it. There is no limit on the amount of food you can consume and limit on the time you can spend there and it's FREE!!! The buffet is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Would you starve yourself or ever go hungry? What if I told you that this place existed? This place exists but instead of feeding your body, you are feeding your dreams. I believe that one of the biggest reasons we stop dreaming is because we starve that desire for so long that we end up all but killing it. As we grow up and the struggles in life get harder, we just start to see dreaming as an option and not a necessity. Dreaming is a part of who we are, it's a natural desire, and we need to feed that desire daily. Only feed your dreams the best and stop allowing the negative stuff to stifle your dreams. You get to control how much you feed your dreams. You wouldn’t settle for the crumbs that would fall on the floor or for the old leftovers, so why feed your dreams with anything less than the best? It might be in the form of a motivational books, doing a study on what it is we want to accomplish, taking a class, or finding a mentor(I strongly suggest this one). Maybe it's going out and looking at that house, car, boat, or piece of land that you want to own. The dream buffet is only limited by your desire. If you want it, it's there for the taking. Stop allowing yourself to starve your dreams. So take the time to start feeding those dreams again. Figure out what it is you want, get hungry for it, and go out and get it.

What is AIAO Life Coaching?

AIAO Life Coaching is something that I am very passionate about, probably it is a part of my dream. AIAO stands for, Adapt, Improvise, And Overcome, more on that later. I am currently working toward getting my Life Coaching Certification. For those of you who aren't completely sure what Life Coaching is, here is what it means to me. My passion is to help people get from where they are in life right now to where they want to be in the future. I cannot make your decisions for you, but I can help you find your drive and passion for what it is you want to accomplish. I can help you find your way through this tangled web that we call life. My success will be based on the success of others. I believe that in order to make it in this life we have to learn how to adapt, improvise, and overcome (AIAO).
The first time that I remember hearing the term AIAO, was when I watched the movie Heartbreak Ridge as a kid. If you haven't seen the movie, what are you waiting for? I have done a little research where this philosophy comes from and I have found out that it is a motto of the Marines. The Marines were once the "red-headed step children" of the military. They got all the hand me downs from the other branches which was usually less than what they needed. They learned to adapt, improvise, and overcome with what they had. It's been said, "It's not what you don't have but what you think you need that keeps you from being successful in life." When I have hit rough times in my life, I knew that I always had two choices. Choice #1: Give up...that's rarely been my style. Choice #2: Adapt to what was happening, improvise(from what I have learned in life), and overcome the situation.
Adapting is about doing what needs to be done now to lessen the effects of whatever is going on in your life that you want to change. It's more about  an immediate physical response to your situation. Improvising is about using what you have to start turning that bad situation into a positive one for your self. Improvising is more of the mental aspect if turning your life around. Once you have done these two things, you can now start the process of overcoming whatever it is in your life that you need to change.
In closing I want to take a minute to thank you for taking the time to read my first blog. I am also planning on launching an AIAO Life Coaching page on Facebook for those of you interesting in learning more about what it is that I am and will be doing with my new venture.