Saturday, June 2, 2012

Kids On A Leash

Now, I'm not talking about the things that you strap to your child so that they don't wander to far when you are at the zoo, amusement park, and shopping malls. I have seen these devices and personally I find them funny. I never had a use for them for my kids but I can see their value. Maybe they should make them with a bungee cord, now that could be entertainment.

My parents, ex in-laws, and current in-laws have all told me that I am or have been too strict on my kids. My daughter(from a previous marriage) is now 20, and my son(from my current marriage) is 9. I'm sure, that from their views, I have been too strict on my kids. I have high standards on how I think that my kids should act. Do I expect perfection, no. But I do expect them to act right. I never heard a complaint from any of them about one of my kids acting up whenever they had them. Many times, I would hear stories about how strangers complimented them on how well their grand kids behaved where ever they might have taken them.

Here is what has worked for me. I believe that when kids are small, you have to keep the leash on them tight and close to you. Be firm, set the standards that you expect, and stick to it. My kids have had things taken away from them, ground for weeks on end, and yes, I believe in a firm swat on the rear is occasionally needed. Children need to learn and understand early on that there are rules and guidelines that have to be followed in life and especially in public. My kids get to go to the toy aisle, after I am done shopping, if we didn't have any problems. I believe in rewarding good behavior, not just punishing the bad. I've always told my kids how I appreciate how good they were in a given situation. I've always scorned the action but never the child. Our kids aren't bad, but their actions, sometimes are.  

As my children have began to grow up and they start wanting to have some freedoms, like playing at the neighbors house, going on a bike ride with friends, driving, dating, and so on, I have been confident that they know my rules and because I have kept the leash tight, I have some to give. It's an understanding that I can and will quickly pull that leash back if they get out of line. The more that they show they can handle the more that I can let go of the leash.

Too many times, I have seen parents struggling with teens that they allowed to just run as kids. If you give all the slack out when they are toddlers and young children, I believe that it is next to impossible to reign that leash back in when they are teens. We, as parents, have a responsibility to our children. We need to raise them to be upstanding members of society. They need to understand and have respect for rules and others. I am confident that I could let my kids go alone into a store, restaurant, or any other public place and they wouldn't act a fool. Their age, yes, but not act up. I love my children, but they know that Dad will be stern when they get out of line. 

Dream Big...Pursue Big...Live Big

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